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DCU News: Name an Owner

My efforts to name D.C. new United owner Victor MacFarlane "Victor MacFarpost" might or might not succeed. Frankly, despite it obviously being the best of all possible nicknames, the response thus far has been a bit tepid. But the more important point is that the new owner most in need of a new nickname is not MacFarpost, but rather Brian Davis. He's the local guy; he's the guy that promised me he'd partner up with Gilbert Arenas; and he's the guy that began discussing Adrian Fenty's, er, intestinal fortitude during yesterday's highly public news conference.

Many scarves, and an owner seeking a nickname. (By Joel Richardson -- The Washington Post)

I wasn't the only one who noticed Davis's immense potential. The DCenters, whose "Seven things to take away from the new D. C. United ownership deal" actually comes with real insight, agree in an aside that Davis could be a real find. "Crazy Uncle Moneybags," they call him, although I don't know if I'd go that far. Point being, he needs a nickname. The things we have to work with:

1) Duke
2) Basketball
3) He was raised in Atlantic City, Southeast and P.G., and now lives in Northwest
4) Real estate
5) A penchant for "intestinal fortitude"
6) Facial hair

The Far Post suggests "El Dia-blue," combining the Blue Devil thing with Marco Etcheverry's name. That might work. I've got nothing. Suggestions are highly, highly encouraged.

Elsewhere, The Offside has a picture of Christian Laettner looking slightly goofy in his DCU scarf, Blckdgrd is quite quite worried about people without a soccer background being in charge of this franchise, DCSportsChick muses on Laettner and concludes, "What a Tool;" the StarTribune's blogger and SportsFrog also choose to make fun of Laettner's scarf, and The Far Post also live-blogs yesterday's events, while channeling the Wizznutzz and making this important observation about the suggestion that DCU is grooming stars in Ward 8.:

11:04 a.m. -- Ward 8 future stars? BigSoccer immediately starts a "Ward 8 Stars Rumors" thread and rates the talent. One posters asks, "Why hasn't United signed any of these players yet!!!!! We have games in six weeks!!!!!"

(I forgot to mention yesterday that at one point, Laettner made a reference to "The D.C. United." Nothing is guaranteed to raise DCU hackles more quickly than the word "the.")

In terms of news and all that, WaPo's Metro section focuses on the financial and stadium implications of Team MacFarpost, and sees yesterday's event as largely political theater:

The news conference seemed to be aimed at positioning MacFarlane as a partner with the District, perhaps so government leaders can avoid a messy battle like the one over the city's $611 million public financing package for the Washington Nationals' stadium. During the baseball debate, city officials were often at odds with Major League Baseball and Nationals owner Theodore N. Lerner.

United's ownership group has offered to pay for stadium construction in exchange for the right to build a development, including a hotel, on city-owned land, said D.C. government sources familiar with the proposal who spoke on the condition of anonymity because the financing plans have not been finalized. The land, part of a 100-acre parcel transferred last month from U.S. Park Service to District control, could be worth tens of millions of dollars and would constitute significant public investment in the project.

Official DCU Beat Writer Steve Goff focuses on MacFarpost's background and explains how he first met the MLS commish, Soccer Times offers further quotes, the AP's overview also mentions those dastardly scarves and future partners, the WashTimes talks to city officials about a possible stadium deal (Kwame Brown: "The city's checkbook is not open to a sports franchise that wants us to build them a new stadium"), while the Examiner also runs news and sports stories.

Anyhow, nicknames, please. And any comments on the new "lead investor group" are always welcome.

By Dan Steinberg  |  January 9, 2007; 9:31 AM ET
Categories:  D.C. United  
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"I forgot to mention yesterday that at one point, Laettner made a reference to "The D.C. United.""

See? I told you he was a tool. He can't even get the team's name right.

Posted by: DC Sports Chick | January 9, 2007 9:42 AM | Report abuse

I'd take Victory over MacFarPost. Sorry Dan.

Funny story that may or may not be true about Laettner: A friend who once did DSL installations for Verizon claims he had a service call for Laettner's house. When they got there, they found life-size posters of Laettner framed and prominently displayed in one of the rooms.

I don't know if that's even true, but I laugh every time I think about it.

Posted by: bryc3 | January 9, 2007 9:57 AM | Report abuse

I'm for Victory, or V-Mac.

Is V-Mac any less a 'soccer guy' than Phil Anschutz? Uncle Phil got on the soccer bandwaggon after seeing the 1994 World Cup, before his involvement with MLS, he was nothing in the soccer world, and now we look at him as one of the guys who helped save it. V-Mac could have a similar story.

And the owners aren't 'in charge' of the team, Kevin Payne is. And I get the feeling that if someone else wanted to take control, they'd need to do it from his cold dead hands.

Posted by: Kim | January 9, 2007 10:02 AM | Report abuse

Well, V-Mac or no V-Mac, I'm looking for Brian Davis nicknames. And don't suggest B-Dav.

Posted by: Dan Steinberg | January 9, 2007 10:26 AM | Report abuse

Davis Nicknames:

Big Cuz
Southeast Brian

Posted by: Dan | January 9, 2007 10:44 AM | Report abuse

Fine, names for Brian Davis:

Crazy Uncle Brian
He who knows balls
Agent Zero's partner

Posted by: Kim | January 9, 2007 10:45 AM | Report abuse

according to this article:
and the AC connection.

Mr. Monopoly might be good.

Posted by: Marc | January 9, 2007 10:47 AM | Report abuse

Kwame Brown: "The city's checkbook is not open to a sports franchise that wants us to build them a new stadium")

HA! And what about Major League Baseball? Brown clearly is suffering from alzheimer's.

Posted by: delantero | January 9, 2007 10:54 AM | Report abuse


I'm pretty sure Brown was against the MLB stadium deal. Not sure how he was quoted in the article, but his comment is most likely aimed at his displeasure that DC just about sold its soul for MLB.

And, BTW, anyone else remember when Brown was running for council and the OTHER KB (he who shall not be mentioned) was still in town. Must of confused lots of people who dont read the paper and dont live east of the river (where KB that can be named lives). All the Kwame Brown for At-large council signs were out on lawns literally 16 months before the election.

Posted by: the cheat | January 9, 2007 11:03 AM | Report abuse

I'm going with 'Ballsy' MacFarlane. Or 'Mr. MacBallsy' to you.

Posted by: doclinkin | January 9, 2007 11:06 AM | Report abuse

If Laettner and Davis own United the way they owned the University of Kentucky, the franchise should be in pretty good shape.

Posted by: MDT | January 9, 2007 11:08 AM | Report abuse

The Brown Hornet

Posted by: Anonymous | January 9, 2007 11:12 AM | Report abuse

And I don't have a nickname for Davis, but I do believe that his first local American Express commercial should, in the vein of Coach K ("I am a leader who happens to coach basketball"), include the line "I am an owner who happens to appreciate testicles".

Posted by: MDT | January 9, 2007 11:25 AM | Report abuse

El Cocoa Loco
The BeDeviler

Also, anything to do with Laetner's and Davis' horrifying hairdos while at Duke.

Davis - Fade to Balls
Laetner - Sweaty Flop (perfect career description)

Posted by: Grotus | January 9, 2007 11:34 AM | Report abuse

HA, I'm glad to see my Victory name has some takers. My suggestion for Brian is Biggie Ballz.

Posted by: SEKim | January 9, 2007 12:29 PM | Report abuse

I am a grown up sitting at my desk at my big boy job, and I just laughed out loud at Fade to Balls. I'm not proud of that, but I do believe we have a winner.

Posted by: bryc3 | January 9, 2007 12:30 PM | Report abuse

Not only did someone beat me (by 3 hours, I hate it when I actually have to work) to post blueballs, his name is also Dan. Double frick. Is this a Dan-only blog? Actually, I think Fade to Blueballs is the best possible nickname.

Posted by: danJ | January 9, 2007 1:28 PM | Report abuse

V-Mac I'm down with. As for Davis, Fade to Balls cracks me up.

Posted by: DB | January 9, 2007 3:23 PM | Report abuse

with it's double entendre, why not simply The Baller

Posted by: beergorila | January 10, 2007 9:42 AM | Report abuse

Ya, definitely gotta go with V-Mac...

How about Brian "Blue Diablo" Davis?

Both have the initials BD and is less kludgy than El Dia-blu.

Posted by: swwj | January 10, 2007 1:21 PM | Report abuse

Let's not forget Mr. William (Will) Chang

The Changster
Chang Bang
The Bonds-man
Will Power
DCU Will

Posted by: seahawkdad | January 10, 2007 4:39 PM | Report abuse

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