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Man Law On Recess

Remember that question at the end of Norman Chad's column this week? Here's a reminder:

Q. Can we make a man law for no more man laws? (Bill Greenstein; Seattle)

A. We could do that, but where else am I going to see Burt Reynolds?

Well, Mr. Chad, you'd better put "Universal Soldier III: Unfinished Business" on your Netflix queue, because boy is this shaping up as a bittersweet day.

Management at Milwaukee-based Miller has opted for an advertising campaign that shifts the focus to the benefits that "make it clear to beer drinkers that Miller Lite is the better light beer," Miller spokesman Pete Marino said.

"We're moving on to something more intrinsic," he said. "We're just transitioning to ads that put the focus back on the beer again."

Frankly, I've had my fair share of Miller Lites, and I think the ad execs probably were on to something by shifting the focus away from the beer. Actually, I take that back; I won't say anything bad about Miller Lite, because I recently made a playful jest about Budweiser products and their wondrously subtle flavors, and I then received an actual letter in the mail from a Budweiser employee who explained how hard he and his fellow employees work, and how they don't go out of their way to ruin my business (a task which, in any case, I'm handling fairly well), and how I shouldn't go out of my way to ruin their business and hurt their families and prevent their children from attending university, etc., and then I felt so guilty that I immediately left work and starting drinking all the Bud products I could find.

Norman, you could also check out "Driven." (Warner Bros.)

But the point is, if you're like me, you'll initially think "yeah, those ads weren't that great, take that Miller Lite," but then you'll go to this site and watch like 746 different Man Law ads and even though you'll be quite embarrassed and feel rotten about yourself, you'll laugh several times, especially at the Outtakes, and then you'll secretly keep watching the ads even while fielding a phone call saying you have a completely incorrect item about Tony Kornheiser linked on your blog.

By Dan Steinberg  |  January 23, 2007; 1:37 PM ET
Categories:  Media  
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Miller Lite should bring back the ad where the two excellently-proportioned girls are arguing over less-filling and tastes great and they somehow end up ripping each other's clothes off while wrestling in a fountain, and then they make out at the end.

If they keep coming up with brilliant marketing ideas like that, I will continue to drink their often metallic-tasting brew (including the half-empty 30-pack, currently in my fridge)

Posted by: littles | January 23, 2007 1:51 PM | Report abuse

great use of the universal you

Posted by: CreditZard | January 23, 2007 1:52 PM | Report abuse

Letter to "Offended At The Bud Plant":


I am sure that you work very hard and most likely do your job very well.

Unfortunately, your job is apparently somewhere in the production process for creating one of America's greatest affronts to worldwide society: Mass-produced, watery, just short of flavorless beer that, regardless of what label is slapped on the outside of the bottle demarcating it as one of an innumerable different varieties, tastes exactly the same as the one next to it on the shelf from the same brewery.

I commend you for working very hard, and being gainfully employed in these somewhat troubled economic times. However, I offer my condolences for the product you are involved in creating.


My friends know where to find me.

Posted by: Goat | January 23, 2007 1:54 PM | Report abuse

c'mon Steinz, Bud is doing just fine despite sentiments such as yours and those expressed here:

i'm sure the men and women of Budweiser work very hard, and as long as Coors Light is around they will not be making/marketing the worst beer on earth. i'm sure some people legitimately enjoy it. but don't feel guilty because you think it's swill.

Posted by: jamie | January 23, 2007 1:59 PM | Report abuse

There are many different arguments out there for which beer is the worst. I think the only thing we can all agree on is that it's an American beer.

Posted by: FS | January 23, 2007 2:09 PM | Report abuse

Oh hooray it's beer snobs. My favorite group of snobs on earth, they make wine snobs seem down to earth and accepting of others opinions.

Posted by: Chris | January 23, 2007 2:09 PM | Report abuse

I'm so glad this came up, because I have never understood it. Why, dear god why do people buy $6.50 Miller Lites at Nationals games? Or even worse, Michelob Ultras? The beers does not, as a rule, contain alcohol. And I think we're all in agreement that they taste like pee. So why bother? I just don't get it.

Posted by: bryc3 | January 23, 2007 2:10 PM | Report abuse

Somebody tell Bill Greenstein the first man law is NO WHINING about man laws.

Posted by: Chico | January 23, 2007 2:11 PM | Report abuse

Please tell me that those Budweiser employees work on Rolling Rock. Cause that legitimately tastes like feet. Making it different then every other AB product.

Posted by: Marc | January 23, 2007 2:13 PM | Report abuse

bryc3, it's beer that tastes like pee that many people have apparently worked hard to make.

Posted by: Kim | January 23, 2007 2:15 PM | Report abuse

I'd like to go on record that the worst thing mentioned thus far is not Miller Lite, the Budweiser product line, the Man Law commercials, or Burt Reynolds.

It's Norman Chad's column.

Posted by: Chest Rockwell | January 23, 2007 2:15 PM | Report abuse

how can a column about how far superior maryland's journalism school is be a bad thing?

the man is spot on in this case ...

Posted by: littles | January 23, 2007 2:19 PM | Report abuse

I like Budweiser.

Posted by: Incredulous | January 23, 2007 2:52 PM | Report abuse

"Oh hooray it's beer snobs. My favorite group of snobs on earth, they make wine snobs seem down to earth and accepting of others opinions."

It'd be one thing if after bashing Miller Lite, Bud Light, Coors Light et. al. They mentioned some tiny, craft brew that they preferred and then went on to nuances about the specific beer. However, hating the aforementioned "Light Beers" does not make one a "Beer Snob" it makes you someone who knows the difference between beer and water.
Beer should have flavor.
Hefeweizens excluded, Beer should not resemble Urine.
Beer should NEVER come in a plastic bottle.
As for the ONE True Man Law: Men don't drink light beer. Ever.
When in doubt, drink Sam Adams, as long as it's not the Cranberry Lambic... god that was terrible.

Posted by: AlecW81 | January 23, 2007 3:22 PM | Report abuse

Not true, when playing the sport of beerpong, it's best to use a light beer, my preference, Miller Lite or The High Life! Ahh, I love the high life.

Posted by: Billy | January 23, 2007 3:47 PM | Report abuse

Chad is a taint on our fine university.

And I'm glad someone else brought up High Life. Is there anything so delightfully sleazy as drinking bottles of High Life?

Posted by: Chest Rockwell | January 23, 2007 3:56 PM | Report abuse

"Chad is a taint on our fine university."

Have you seen Norman on ESPN? And you'd use that word to describe him, creating that disturbing mental image? Thanks a lot, Chest.

High Life gets a pass, as it is the champagne of beers, after all. And PBR gets a pass, too, cause you can buy cans for $2 at Velvet Lounge.

You know what though? Those Milwaukee's Best commercials they run during poker coverage are actually pretty funny. If the beer didn't remind you of throwing up in college, they might almost be funny enough to encourage you to actually buy some. Well, maybe not. But still, I usually lol.

Posted by: bryc3 | January 23, 2007 4:03 PM | Report abuse

"When in doubt, drink Sam Adams, as long as it's not the Cranberry Lambic... god that was terrible."

Amen! Gimme Sam Adams any day over the MilBudCoors types...

Posted by: JJ | January 24, 2007 10:10 AM | Report abuse

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