You the Man: Someone Call the Academy
I think someone I work with once expressed the opinion that there might not be enough weirdness to support a local sports Bog. Well, in the last, say, 18 hours, the following things have happened.
1) The Wizznutzz have turned up photos of world championship video gamers, sponsored by an NBA superstar, posing with nearly naked models, at a birthday party hosted by Diddy.
2) The Wizards have handed out posters of their superstar posing, quite seriously, behind a big plate of powdered donuts. (More on that later.)
3) That superstar, upon prompting from a local blogger, has been asked how his swag was, replying thus: "It was a mellow swag, it was a mellow swag until the end. Phenomenal is the top; phenomenal swag is the top swag. Mellow swag, you're just chillin'."
4) The Wizznutzz have turned up an old Bullets video, "You the Man You the Man," circa the '95-96 season, featuring guest appearances by perhaps the greatest collection of local sports celebrities ever collected in one awkward hiphop-lite video, including the shimmying Brendan Witt, Olie Kolzig and Ken Klee; Riddick Bowe, Charles Mann, the U.S. women's basketball team, former GM John Nash, a gesturing Mr. Pollin, a pre-bald Chick Hernandez, Frank Herzog, Wally Bruckner, Al Koken, Phil Chenier, Charlie Slowes (!), Mel Proctor (!), Ahmad Rashad, Susan O'Malley, Rasheed Wallace, a break dancing Juwan Howard (who is urged to "do the helicopter, dawg"), Tim Legler, Mark Price, Brent Price, a dancing Ghitza, Jim McIlvaine, Robert Pack, Chris Webber and an extremely expressive Mitchell Butler; a video in which the phrase "You the Man" is rhymed with both "Lynam" and "Muresan," and in which the following lyrics are deployed, recklessly, without much warning at all:
Step up, get swept up; you'll get devoured,
By Cheaney, Wallace and Juwan Howard.
It's not a bad way to start the day, frankly.
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