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Daniel Snyder: More Milkshakes

This nostalgia stuff is getting out of control for Mister Snyder. First he buys his favorite childhood team, and now he's buying Johnny Rockets, "the 1950s-inspired restaurant chain known for employees that sing and dance...." Which joke-like direction do you go with this? That after the Gibbs hire we all thought he was done living in the past? That we've already seen plenty of Snyder's song and dance? That having Snyder's employees sing and dance is fine, but we prefer seeing his employees jump on couches? That at least something in the Snyder empire will now be well-done?

Anyhow, attempting to stick another finger in our eyes, he talked to the New York Times for their story, in which we learn the following things: he "can see the business rocketing, no pun intended, in the future;" Mark Shapiro says "anything he touches, as long as you got the patience, turns to gold," meaning the Redskins should be just fine by about 2033; and he'd like to have 15 or 20 locations in Dubai plus some in FedEx Field, which are about equally accessible to D.C. residents.

Also, 'tis the time of year for Johnny Rockets' Chocolate Strawberry Kiss Shake, "created with chilled whole milk, a splash of chocolate syrup, strawberry blend and premium vanilla ice cream topped with a dollop of whipped cream and a maraschino cherry." Also also, the chain's "#12 hamburger is called that because on a scale of one to ten, it's a twelve!" Seems like some unrealistic expectations. No wonder Snyder was interested.

By Dan Steinberg  |  February 9, 2007; 9:39 AM ET
Categories:  Redskins  
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Comments

It makes sense that he would try to buy his childhood, given that he frequently behaves like one and can still fit into his Bar Mitzvah suit.

Posted by: Dave Lifton | February 9, 2007 10:02 AM | Report abuse

I have only been there once, but i am sure to never eat there again. How do you think he will improve the chain? How about forcing an extra 10 tables and booths inside to add capacity ("I think we can fit a table-for-two next to this urinal!"). He will secretly negotiate with the government so that he can expand the all buildings by 2000 stories and exceed the district's height limit. The menu won't have any depth. There will be 5 good meals whose recipies will have been expensively purchased from other restaurants and and 52 crappy ones filling in the spots on the pages. Needless to say, there will be 28 Johnny Rocket spin-off merchandising stores through out the area and you will be charged to walk to the restaurant from the metro or an adjacent lot not owned by the danny.

Posted by: Ledell Eackles | February 9, 2007 10:17 AM | Report abuse

i prefer the easy target: song and dance from snyder's employees isn't anything new - vinny cerrato's been performing the obsequious shuffle for years

Posted by: rob | February 9, 2007 10:26 AM | Report abuse

I thought that this was the obvious...

It's just another Dan Snyder product that gives its consumers really bad indigestion.

Posted by: Chris | February 9, 2007 11:06 AM | Report abuse

Dan's milkshake brings all the boys to the yard
And they're like,it's better than yours
Damn right, it's better than yours

Posted by: Bill Fitzgerald | February 9, 2007 11:07 AM | Report abuse

Like the Redskins, Johnny Rockets hasn't been good since 1991.

Posted by: Adam | February 9, 2007 11:20 AM | Report abuse

Steve Blake likes Johnny Rockets

Posted by: littles | February 9, 2007 11:43 AM | Report abuse

Hmm... Chainsaw Dan buys Johnny Rockets the same week that astronaut Lisa Nowak, a high school classmate, gets arrested for attempted murder. Coincidence? I think not.

Posted by: Bearthur | February 9, 2007 11:45 AM | Report abuse

Well know, aint that interesting. Some of his competiton in the theme park biz has Johny Rocket's in their parks. Wonder what this does to their operations.

An overpriced erzatz throwback to the 50's? I'm shocked he didn't buy it sooner.

Posted by: EricS | February 9, 2007 12:17 PM | Report abuse

i wish he bought STEAK n SHAKE instead and opened some mo east coast locations!

Posted by: thigh master | February 9, 2007 12:24 PM | Report abuse

"I'll have the 'Built By Home Depot' Burger, no onions, the 'New AOL Now with Virus Blockers!' Fries, and the 'Vonage' Shake."

Posted by: Adam | February 9, 2007 12:41 PM | Report abuse

"Would you like fries with your burger"?ha!

Posted by: WGDC- | February 10, 2007 12:59 AM | Report abuse

He can hire Tom Cruise to bartend and Tony Stewart can deliver take out. Do people really wonder why the Redskins stink? Is this what thier owner spends his time doing?

Posted by: Dude | February 13, 2007 12:43 PM | Report abuse

The comments to this entry are closed.

 
 
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