Gilbert's All-Star Blog, and the James Lang Blog
I didn't go to Vegas, just in case our baby arrived over the weekend. She didn't. Incidentally, the Wizznutzz have suggested that I invite you to help us name our daughter. They've suggested "Gheorghina." That's a finalist.
Regardless, the best source of Gilbert news over the weekend was Gilbert's special all-star blog. What he's done is, he's turned NBA.com into unbeatable competition to the news media. It's really quite dastardly of him, giving all these exclusive interviews to The Man, while frequently choosing not to speak to us unwashed bloggers and beat writers. He has the ultimate control over his own "content," and at the same time he makes jersey-buying kiddies feel like they have an intimate connection with him by using the word "blog." And we get shut out. Not that I'm bitter. The only solution I can think of is to line up an exclusive Q&A deal of my own, highlighting the daily ups and downs and quirky travails of another Wizard. James Lang, most likely. I'll have my first James Lang tale shortly.
Anyhow, from Gilbert's lengthy all-star blog, in chronological order, we learn:
* Because Gil's a team player, he chose not to take 45 shots against Portland.
* For those who doesn't understand that Gil controls when he's entertaining and when he's not, he points out that when he's talking to the media "Energy goes and comes and goes. Some people get the best: The Black President, Agent Zero. And some people just get Gilbert." The NBA.com guy, of course, always gets Agent Zero. Not that I'm bitter.
* In his best item, he says he's taking Shaq to the People's Court and handicaps the three-point contest field, saying this about Damon Jones: "Great conversation shooter. I heard he's going to wear a hot pink jacket. I mean, that's a nice color to come in second, third, fourth or fifth in."
* He says he took those one-handed shots in the contest "for my YouTubers."
* He also says he plays Baccarat and I Declare War, that "I don't sleep. I nap," and that "There's a lot of women here. I'm going to try to throw that fishing pole out there and see what I can get. As long as I don't get a tire...or a boot."
* Am I crazy? Had I missed the news that Gilbert, Baron Davis and Chris Mills's younger brother are starting a high-end jeans company? How many days until they acquire the Mothering Hut? And isn't Caron Butler the one who should open the clothing biz?
We were sitting there in the timeout watching them Elvis guys dunk, and my big mouth, I was like, "Man, I can do that better than them." And then they missed a couple so I was like, "When they finish up, I'm going to go do it."
Shaq was like, "Yeah, right." He said, "I'll put $100,000 in your foundation."
I was like, $100,000 or get in trouble by David Stern?
$100,000 or get in trouble by David Stern?
Oh man, I'll take that fine. So I did it for my Zer0 2 Her0 charity.
It was great though. Between the legs...Yea-ahhh!
I used to practice those trampoline dunks back at Golden State. I can flip and everything. But I didn't want to flip and crack my neck.
I'm sure Joseph "the Omnipresent Beret" White will join me in unpacking these various storylines after tonight's game. In the meantime, stay tuned for an exciting Wiz giveaway, coming very soon.
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