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The Full Story on DeShawn "Mister 50" Stevenson

Gilbert took off without talking to the media last night. DeShawn Stevenson decided to take his place. It was freaky. He was even mimicking Gilbert's timing on laugh lines. An all-around brilliant performance.

As careful readers of this Bog will recall, last week I was the only person reporting on the DeShawn post-game you-can't-talk-to-me-if-you're-under-50-percent goings-on. Gilbert's blog page is automatically redirecting to his all-star blog right now, but he had actually blogged about this first.

Anyhow, after the Sixers game, Stevenson's shooting percentage was three field goals shy of .500. Well, going 9 for 11 changes things. After last night's game, Wiz PR superstar Daren Jenkins came up to DeShawn and told him he was at 50.1 percent for the year, just above the crucial figure.

"Oh my God," Antonio Daniels said, fully aware what was coming next.

"Hey y'all, don't talk to me no more," DeShawn immediately announced.

Comcast's well-coifed Chick Hernandez then did an actual post-game interview, about basketball, and others asked various basketball questions. I attempted to wait until they all left, so I could get an exclusive. At some point, it was mostly just me, Information Leafblower and some radio people, I think. So the key fact is, once Stevenson is over 50 percent for the year, no one else can talk to him unless they're also above 50 percent for the year. That's where I was wrong earlier; individual games don't matter, just the season stats.

"That's why I told Gilbert and everybody they can't talk to me," DeShawn said. "Etan can, Brendan....Hey Brendan, you can talk to me too," he shouted.

"Huh?" Brendan Haywood said.

"You can talk to me too," Stevenson said.

Then he explained that he had been at that 50 percent threshold several times earlier in the year, and that his teammates couldn't talk to him back then, and that Gilbert got mad and challenged him to that shooting competition, because of the speaking ban. I asked if this ban only applied after games.

"Period, that's just period," Stevenson said. "On the plane, at home, on my cell phone. It's gonna be quiet for a minute, unless Etan or Brendan talks to me."

A media crowd was gathering, so I changed the subject and asked him about the decline and return of his you-can't-see-me hand shake.

"I don't like doing it on losses," he explained. "I don't want to showboat when we're losing. It wouldn't look good."

I asked whether his hand-shake was the same as Tim Thomas's, as Michael Lee had reported.

"I don't know what Tim Thomas do, but does he shoot 50 percent?" Stevenson asked.

Now the full-on media crowd was definitely in place. Someone asked how his teammates would communicate with him during the speaking ban.

"They have to talk to coach and then coach has to talk to me," he said. "Coach is the one that brought it up, coach said no one can talk to me if they don't shoot 50."

Someone else asked about a three-way conversation (and I'm sorry for not identifying the somebodies, it all happened too quick).

"It depends who's on the other end," Stevenson said. "If Brendan calls me and clicks Gilbert in, yeah. Other than that, they can't talk to me."

Joseph "the Omnipresent Beret" White now asked for Stevenson to start from the beginning, so that he could make Mister 50 a major part of today's Wizards wire story and steal my Deadspin link. DeShawn obliged.

"Yeah, it's only two other guys on this team [who can talk], Etan and, I don't know if Haywood is but I'l throw him in there," Stevenson said. "I'll throw him in there. Everybody else, e-mails."

I asked whether this was his idea from the start.

"Yeah, it was my idea," he said. "Gilbert, with his swag, I don't want to hear his mouth all day, so that's the only way I can win. What is Gilbert shooting, like 44?.... He definitely can't talk to me."

Then I asked him to define "swagfest."

"'Swagfest' is just very confident, not being disrespectful, just having a little thing about yourself," he explained. "We have a lot of people on this team that have it: Gilbert, Caron, me, Mason. We have fun with each other.... We just brag on things we have done: Caron always throw his Oprah little interview on there, Gilbert's talking about his million-dollar party."

And Stevenson?

"American express, black card," he said. "And 50 percent."

Joseph White asked about a shooting contest rematch.

"Gil cannot talk to me until he shoots 51 percent," Stevenson said. "No rematch 'till he shoots 51 percent."

What about e-mail, Joseph Information Leafblower asked.

"Maybe," Stevenson allowed. "I'll have to respond back. Tell Gilbert I said that....He's Hibachi, I'm Mister 50. Mister 50. Put that in the newspaper so he can get mad. You know he reads the newspaper every day. If he sees that, he might go crazy."

Finally someone suggested to DeShawn that maybe he should start his own blog, so he could respond to Gilbert's taunts in kind.

"I know, right?" Stevenson said. "I might have to do that. Call it Mister 50."

Now someone tell me again about how this team has a poisonous locker room or whatever. Seriously, this dialogue probably doesn't do the moment justice. It was more of a stand-up routine than an interview. And if that's not good enough, it turns out that Mister 50 is actually joining Tuff Juice at this afternoon's Union Station press conference with "The Golden Boy" de la Hoya and "Pretty Boy Mayweather," who nearly rumbled yesterday. That's a lot of nicknames in one train station.

(For the record, it's nothing but good that Joseph White includes this stuff in his AP Wizards copy. He really should have his own blog.)

By Dan Steinberg  |  February 21, 2007; 12:09 PM ET
Categories:  Wizards  
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This post is so cool! I'm -- speechless!

Posted by: Nancy | February 21, 2007 12:20 PM | Report abuse

I'm calling shennanigans on his Black Card. No way he meets the minimum spending threshold.

Posted by: Unsilent Majority | February 21, 2007 12:33 PM | Report abuse

Any word on why Arenas had to leave early? Is it something to be worried about?

Posted by: nara | February 21, 2007 12:54 PM | Report abuse

Your bog is phenomenal.

Posted by: AV | February 21, 2007 1:04 PM | Report abuse

I just read a story in either SI or the four letter mag that said the black AMEX card was but an urban legend in the Wizards locker room until Arenas got one and showed everyone.

Posted by: Prophet | February 21, 2007 1:06 PM | Report abuse

I was the one that asked him about email in that instance (someone else brought it up earlier) and I have the tape to prove it!

I wish everyone could have heard DeShawn. It was hilarious.

Posted by: information leafblower | February 21, 2007 2:15 PM | Report abuse

The Shawn is so Schmoove!

Brendan Todd do they call him "Sister 50"??

And ANdray Blatch "409"??

Hey whens Bog Edutainment TV starting? DO you guys need a mule or some snacks? Tha Bog is tha new Captain 20!!!!!!!

Posted by: darvin ham | February 21, 2007 3:52 PM | Report abuse

"That's a lot of nicknames in one train station"


Posted by: Nancy | February 21, 2007 5:53 PM | Report abuse

I am the first to admit that I am a fair weather fan when it comes to the Wizards. Plus I don't even notice that they exist until after the Super Bowl. However, this Bog has really opened my eyes. These guys are HILARIOUS. Thanks Dan for the top notch BOGing.

Posted by: kjh | February 21, 2007 5:54 PM | Report abuse

Deshawn shouldnt be bragging about a AMEX black card that he can't afford. Annnnddd instead of bragging about things that don't matter.. he should be taking care of his 2 kids that he has nothing to do with. swagfest... give me a break!! How about dadfest?

Posted by: Advocate for the kids left behind.... | February 21, 2007 11:37 PM | Report abuse

Great post, Dan. Keep up the good work.

Posted by: Jason R, RealGM | February 22, 2007 9:25 AM | Report abuse

wow how serious is this

Posted by: mike | March 2, 2007 2:04 PM | Report abuse

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