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Wizards Inspire More Rhymes

Back when you could post comments on the Bog but no one really read it much besides D.C. United fans, we had this poetry slam thing, and Bog Reader Ouij proved a master wordsmith.

Well, he still is. The poems have been coming as quickly as the minor league sports teams. In honor of witnessing his first Wiz game Tuesday night, Ouij went for a Haiku (someone tell Daily Sports Haiku):

The Wolves in winter:
Less hungry than starving. No
Match for the Wizards.

But he wasn't done, not by a long shot. Next came another Wizards sonnet, this one in honor of Etan and Brendan and DeShawn. This is good stuff:

The bitter rivals on the Phone Booth floor
Shrove Tuesday night did bitterly contend:
The Wizards and the Wolves? Heaven forfend!
That tale is fully told with but the score.

Of fierce Etan and Brendan Haywood first
I'll sing, whose quarrel brought suspension's stings:
Peace be on them this Lent, lest they be cursed
To see not championship, but boxing rings!

Has Agent Zero, too, now met his match
In Stevenson? Now Mister Fifty shuns
All lesser men. We fans can only watch
This dumbshow play with fear, and hope the Suns
Now brightly shining in the West begin
Unraveling like us, so we can win.

I mean, wow, right? The Wizards need to employ this guy. Put a sonnet up on the 'tron every game; people will love it. Personally, I had to google both Shrove Tuesday and forfend.

Finally, Ouij tackled the villanelle, a form which I don't know if I've ever even heard of. The poem's mostly about me, and I'm a bit embarrassed to post it here, so head over to Ouij's blog if you really want to read it.

By Dan Steinberg  |  February 23, 2007; 11:57 AM ET
Categories:  Wizards  
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Comments

good stuff, good stuff

The sound of silence:
DeShawn's 8-14 means I
can't speak this out loud

Posted by: MDT | February 23, 2007 12:30 PM | Report abuse

Ouij, this is REALLY good stuff.

Really really cool.

Regarding the link to the post on the hat thing: Embarassed to post it? TonyK is your role model (;) and you're not into boasting!!

Thank goodness Ouij has remedied the problem by posting it under "so."

Posted by: Nancy | February 23, 2007 1:00 PM | Report abuse

Tony Kornheiser
Hates soccer and whines too much:
Let him play football.

Posted by: ouij | February 23, 2007 1:14 PM | Report abuse

Bravo, good sir. Bravo.

Posted by: Blackaces | February 23, 2007 1:33 PM | Report abuse

Foot behind the line,
set up, follow through, 3 points!
sigh

Posted by: J.Salmons | February 23, 2007 1:36 PM | Report abuse

The "All lesser men" line got me. Very well done, I've got to give it up.

Posted by: Tha Jones 115 | February 23, 2007 1:47 PM | Report abuse

Dancing during the Phone Booth TV Timeouts

A fake elvis nearly died;
white business man showed
how to lose clients

Posted by: reader Will | February 23, 2007 1:58 PM | Report abuse

This is Washington,
We don't coddle kings. Beware,
Elvis and LeBron!

Posted by: ouij | February 23, 2007 2:04 PM | Report abuse

The villanelle, apparently, came from an old Italian folk-song form, brought to French poetry and then English. (I learned that from the Post's own Robert Hass.)

There are some famous ones - probably the only ones I've read, notwithstanding Ouij's highly amusing example. Hass printed Theodore Roethke's "The Waking" and Elizabeth Bishop's "One Art" in his column on the form. "The art of losing isn't hard to master..."

Posted by: Josh | February 23, 2007 3:55 PM | Report abuse

bog and elizabeth bishop, both great writers! next can we discuss the clerihew!

Posted by: CreditZard | February 23, 2007 4:05 PM | Report abuse

The clerihew never appealed to me much as a form.

The canonical example, from Clerihew himself:
* * *
Sir Christopher Wren
Said "I am going to dine with some men;
If anyone calls,
Say I am designing St. Paul's
* * *

The problem here is that there's not much to it. Essentially, the clerihew has these rules:

1) Pick a famous person's name. That's line 1.
2) Write another line and rhyme.
3) Write another couplet.

h'm, let's try that:

Gilbert Arenas
Is cheered in many cantinas
If you need a hero
You can call Agent Zero.

Ok, so not particularly imaginative, funny, or skillful. But I should get credit for finding one of the few rhymes for "Arenas" that will go in a family newspaper.

Posted by: ouij | February 23, 2007 4:23 PM | Report abuse

Ouij and I go way back. Trust me. You guys can't stump him when it comes to poetry and history.

Posted by: Blackaces | February 23, 2007 5:31 PM | Report abuse

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