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Gilbert Issues a Manifesto

Dan Steinberg here. Not about college basketball.

I was supposed to be on a conference call about WPL today, but I was completely distracted by Gilbert's latest blog. It's 3,621 words. I'll be honest, he could use an editor. He repeats himself, repeatedly. He takes excessive umbrage at the words of ESPn persons (Skip Bayless), and with the anonymous posters on the RealGm boards. He is silly and serious and outraged and rambling, and you skip parts of it, and read it all out of order, and then you sort of wonder why he wants to dump all his personal angst on the world. In short, he's, like, an actual blogger. This is the post that clinches it. Next week, I expect him to start posting about the type of cat food he feeds to his girlfriend's pets.

None of the content is really new. He's said it to different reporters and different TV stations and even on his blog, at different times, but never in such an extended, jumbled and passionate manner. It's all about how he's an entertainer, and how he wants to have fun, and how much he loves the game. He talks about learning the refs' names, and interacting with fans, and insisting that DeShawn should not give up his hand-waving celebration because of silly gang worries, no matter what his stick-in-the-mud agent says. I could write the executive summary in about 3,601 fewer words than he needed: Like this:

People want fun. Little kids want fun. It's like we're taking fun out of basketball.....It's all entertainment.

Bless him. Although the NBA is now sending out press releases whenever Gilbert blogs. Which sort of ruins the whole thing. I mean, a blog has to lose some of its authenticity once it's all promoted by some major, mainstream corporate entity. Hi, Don Graham!

And in more Gilbert news:

Look at these shoes! Are they fabulously wonderful or fabulously ugly?

Also, I got the following e-mail from Reader Tim:

My brother and I are readers of yours as well as big Zards fans. In addition, about 30% of our diet consists of burritos, specifically, from Chipotle.... We have fused our love for Chipotle burritos with our passion for the Zards and developed the Wizards Chipotle Starting Line-up. The lineup differs a little between me and him, but the general idea is the same. Gilbert is the Carnitas burrito, Caron is the Chicken burrito, Antawn is the steak burrito....We decided to make AD the chips and guacamole side, because he is a good compliment. B-Wood would be the burrito bowl, but you can't get the bowl without a side of AD.....We even have a DAGGER! ( Tabasco Chipotle Pepper Sauce)....Is there a point to me sharing this with you? No. I just thought you might find it interesting, and a little scary.

Correct, on both counts.

And in case Gilbert needs help with the last-second shot thing, check out the end of this Nighthawks' game, featuring consecutive four-point shots and much bedlam.

And since it's never appeared on this blog before, let's consider Gilbert's newest commercial and give more free advertising to Adidas, with Chinese subtitles.

Incidentally, expect 40 days and 40 nights of nothing but Wizards when I finally get back to doing this full time.

By Dan Steinberg  |  March 22, 2007; 1:19 PM ET
Categories:  Wizards  
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That post from Gilbert was absolutly must read and arguably the most insightful NBA writing you will see, period. What are the cultural ramifications of a super star that is so in touch with his fanbase and his place in the cultural lexicon?

Leaves on a tree, we will all blow down.

Gilberts post reminds me of the Hip Hop Awards on VH1 Classics last night. They interviewed all these stars, ice cube, bambata, etc and asked for their influences. They said jazz, funk, public enemy. Then when asking the same question, "What are your musical influences?" to the wu-tang clan, GZA calmly responded, "Science, Art and Mathematics"

Ice Cube, Kobe, Skip Bayless see music or the NBA or culture in a narrow, genre specific window.

Gilbert/ the Wu see basketball/ music from a much broader view. Gilbert is the uncarved block.

The Tao of Zero

Posted by: Colin G. | March 22, 2007 2:01 PM | Report abuse

That blog entry was something else. Definitely a must read. Instead of saying more, I think reading it will do enough for everyone.

On a side note, is it just me or does it seem like the Wizards season started really imploding once Steinberg left????

Posted by: AV | March 22, 2007 2:09 PM | Report abuse

Who the hell pays attention to what Skip Bayless says? I can't even tell him from Woody Paige most of the time.

Posted by: Prophet | March 22, 2007 2:44 PM | Report abuse

Steinberg, did you really refer to Gil's shoes at "fabulously wonderful"? Between this and the cheese, I'm starting to become to suspicious. Not that there's anything wrong with you being what I'm suspicious about you being.

The whole baby thing kind of screws up the theory though.

Posted by: Andrew Alberg | March 22, 2007 3:10 PM | Report abuse

Gilbert's blog entry is ... wow.

BTW, is Gilbert channeling Agent Steinz in the pic?

Posted by: Anonymous | March 22, 2007 3:13 PM | Report abuse

HOLY S@#T AV!! i was thinking that same thing about the wiz troubles and Stein's hiatus from the bog this morning in the shower... (which is kind of sad to say that i was thinking about the Bog in the shower)

gilbert's blog was great. love this kid on our team more and more each day

Posted by: hmmmmm | March 22, 2007 3:50 PM | Report abuse

He's awesomely crazy and great. Though he does kind of remind me of that modest kid in beer pong who is really good, but whose game drops a little once he starts callling shots and acting like the King.

Gilberts Shoes look like an old pair of jordans - I think the ones right before the Air Raid Jordans - think Space Jam.

Posted by: WaPoLiveFan16 | March 22, 2007 4:14 PM | Report abuse

Is it legal for him to be betting like that?

Posted by: voteprime | March 22, 2007 4:22 PM | Report abuse

I am in the process of memorizing this.

Posted by: arenasisgod | March 22, 2007 4:41 PM | Report abuse

To draw another hiphop parallel, Gil's words (specifically his telling a heckler that he must not suck so bad if said heckler had only come out to see him in person) remind me of a Kanye West quote:

"How ill is it to have someone that talks that much **** and then backs it up? And what if I didn't back it up? How exciting would that be, also? It's like I'm walking on this tightrope. It's like the reason why you go to a circus - it's more entertaining. It's like, damn, what if he falls? And if I do make it, it's like, damn, he made it! But either way you're saying 'damn'. Everybody else is just walking on the ground."

Posted by: Chest Rockwell | March 22, 2007 5:06 PM | Report abuse

Steinberg!! We miss you.

Gil's blog was great and I really dug the passion there, but I still find myself wishing he had a little more mean in him, a little more killer instinct. I love that he loves the game and wants to entertain, but he may entertain all us Wiz fans into massive coronaries with these close games and last-second wins and losses.

Posted by: San Diego | March 22, 2007 5:07 PM | Report abuse

Call him "quirky" or whatever else you want ... the man is flat out funny! He has a point; he is entertaining and I watch him because I love the game AND to see what he will do next. He is having fun, good for him!

Posted by: B | March 23, 2007 9:28 AM | Report abuse

Gilbert makes him self look like a joke. He should keep his real game on the court rather than putting it in words on paper. This is probably his agents idea so Gilbert can pocket money through interviews and such media. This man is not funny nor is he seemingly a good writer. Gilbert, keep your hands on a basketball and let that do the talking rather than a keyboard where you look like a loser.

Posted by: ELK | March 24, 2007 12:55 PM | Report abuse

The shoes are very 1993.

Posted by: Anonymous | March 25, 2007 5:19 PM | Report abuse

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