DCU United Fan REALLY Plans to Eat Shoe
I'm pretty sure the guidebook on how to create a successful mainstream media sports blog does not include the following tip:
Tip: Ignore writing about athletes and instead include lots of insider jokes about fans, items will appeal to a small group of readers who go by various anonymous monikers. If possible, make multiple posts about the same insider joke.
But regardless, once I reported on the beginning of this story, I figured I had to go ahead and report about the end. The gist of it was, one D.C. United fan bet another that she (the party of the first part) would eat her nasty tailgating shoes, if he (the party of the second part) got a D.C. United tattoo in the offseason. He did, and she didn't. But now, one of the hundreds of anonymously monikered DCU fans has e-mailed me to say:
1) He's bringing a 5-gallon keg of homebrewed English-style pale ale to Saturday's MLS home opener.
2) The various parties have reached a legal breakthrough of sorts. He writes:
I am pleased to announce that a settlement has been reached in the matter of Banshee Jay v. Riz. After extensive negotiations between myself (on behalf of Ms. Riz) and Mr. Jay's representative, Mr. Chico, we agreed that the controlling authority in the District of Columbia is the case of Clinton v. Carlson. Following the precedent of Clinton, my client, Ms. Riz, will conduct a shoe-eating ceremony at the Barra Brava tailgate prior to D.C. United's MLS home opener on Saturday, April 14, 2007. In addition, Ms. Riz has agreed to provide Mr. Jay with a bottle of an undisclosed libation (from which Mr. Chico and I will deduct our not inconsiderable fees).
The sad part is, I have no doubt that at least one of the four parties involved here is a legitimate lawyer of some kind, and I wouldn't be surprised if at least one or two affidavits were produced along the way. Plus, since I now have to cover this tailgate for work (to verify, mind you, whether a crazed fan eats one of her shoes), I'll be on the clock and thus contractually prohibited from experiencing the 5-gallon keg of homebrewed English-style pale ale.
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