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The Quiz of Desperation

I mean, what am I supposed to say? Every team I could conceivably write about today is soul shreddingly terrible. So instead of some vain effort to be happy, I will present The Washington D.C. Quiz of Desperation. The first two people to respond correctly in the comments will get a choice between a DeShawn Stevenson "I Can't Feel My Face" t-shirt and a Gilbert "My Swag Is Phenomenal" t-shirt. The next two people will get a Gilbert Arenas MVP poster and a year's prescription of Xanax. The next 10 people will be given a voucher allowing them to renounce any responsibility to root for Washington D.C. area teams for the next five years.

All of these quotes, needless to say, came from the past month or so. You'll note that there are 13 of these.

Please match the Washington sports personality with the soul-shredding quote:

1) We are building something here and we have to be patient with it.

2) You have to have patience, and you have to take some lumps with the young players.

3) Personally -- while very competitive in nature -- I knew what I signed up for. I'm patient and plan to see it through its full course.

4) It's my responsibility to stay upbeat and positive in front of them, and keep the dream alive for all of those guys.

5) That's just the way it's going. It's rough. But we've got to bounce back because we've got another game tomorrow.

6) Nobody is going to feel sorry for us.

7) I know that our players and coaches will look at this as an opportunity to rise to the challenge, and I encourage our fans to rally around our team and continue to support them.

8) It just seems like we're really snake-bit right now.

9) It's a pretty long tunnel right now. There will be a tomorrow. I'm not having a lot of fun right [now]. I'm trying to see [the light]. We're trying.

10) We have guys that can play, so we just have to be playing together. We can't worry about what other people say.

11) The biggest thing is not to let these guys crumble under the pressure.

12) When you're being written off by everybody kind of relinquishes the pressure a little bit.

13) For people to be nervous or people to get uptight -- there's no reason to. No one's expecting us to win.

A) Glen Hanlon
B) John Patterson
C) Abe Pollin
D) Brent Johnson
E) Jim Bowden
F) Antonio Daniels
G) Manny Acta
H) Eddie Jordan
I) Antawn Jamison
J) Ryan Zimmerman
K) Brian Sutherby
L) Etan Thomas
M) Ted Leonsis

Also, for cheering up purposes, Gheorghe: The Blog says it could be worse, and DC Optimist has another postseason for you to look forward to.

By Dan Steinberg  |  April 12, 2007; 2:19 PM ET
Categories:  Caps , Nats , Wizards  
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