Tuesday's Papers, and Blogs
LeBron's ankle is apparently a bigger story than Varejao's hair. Michael Lee reports that he would have been able to play if there were a game yesterday. (LeBron, not Michael), although he didn't even lift weights yesterday. More importantly, Ilgauskas has no playoff beard this season because of his wife. That's not stopping me.
The Examiner looks at the Wizards' big men, unfavorably, and the WashTimes also examines the Haywood issue, describing it thus: "as far as salves go, this is tantamount to treating a shark bite with Neosporin." But still, Z continues to express confusion as to why Haywood isn't playing, like so:
"I sort of expected Brendan to play more because of the success he has had guarding me," Ilgauskas said. "I really don't know what is going on. I am pretty sure we will see him more. He's a 7-footer with that wing span and is a good defender in the post. He is hard to score against."
It's odd, to say the least. From Cleveland, the WashTimes then looks at the Z factor. "Anytime we can go to Z right on the box or right off the box it opens up everything for everybody," [Larry] Hughes said. And the Cleveland paper asserts that the Wiz are more worried about Z than about LeBron or Hughes. That seems false to me. Also, Cleveland columnist Bud Shaw says something or other about growth and trees.
The Akron paper gets all confused and refers to the Cavalirs, while also noting that David Wesley can no longer get past the Quicken Loans Arena fingerprint scanners, which is bizarre. Actually, it's strange that they even have fingerprint scanners, no? Also, mad blogger Brian Windhorst offers an amazingly complex look at part of the Wizards' offense, which is really worth reading. Eddie Jordan's chin is involved. Well done, Brian.
The Examiner gets confused, asking the Skins to "Go All In." Wrong team, guys.
Wizznutzz say, well, something:
Wiz goal should be to die the least dignified death ever died. They need to lose these games so dreadfully, so painfully, and desperately, with moans and urine and loud cursing, so that Cleveland will turn their eyes away, and be filled with a deep guilt and species shame and be so sickened and horrified to see fellow ballers suffering so that it will snuff out all joy and competitive fire forever and cleveland will be forever stained and stumbling with the pointless, lost gait of a man who has seen another mans, and therefore all men's, ultimate ruin.
Someone at YaySports! breaks down the series thus:
After being outscored by a combined 258 points in the first two games, the Bullets decided they might as well try and play Gilbert Arenas and Caron Butler in the third game, despite the fact they are both in wheelchairs. In addition, they sign Stephen Hawking to a ten-day contract, just to ensure balance on the floor. However, it makes little difference as the Cavs win game 3 314-58. Hawking does, however, record a triple double. Cleveland 3, Washington 0 (they forfeited the 4th game)
And finally, via Gilbertology, comes video of Gilbert shooting a commercial. It's worth it just for the part when he finishes his interview and asks, "I can go home and play video games?"
Posted by: Prophet | April 24, 2007 10:37 AM | Report abuse
Posted by: kwamebrownsucks | April 24, 2007 10:37 AM | Report abuse
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