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Lunch With Bobby Boswell

If you have a blog that relies on droll anecdotes concerning local athletes and you're ever short on material, just head to the Georgetown "Hoya Court" in the campus student center and sit around idly, counting on MLS defender of the year Bobby Boswell to show up randomly at some point with his girlfriend, a Georgetown graduate student who has hundreds and hundreds of dollars left on her school "Go Card," dollars that she needs to spend within the next few weeks before they expire, which is why she decided to bring her professional soccer-playing boyfriend, who wanted some KFC mashed potatoes but instead wound up with potato wedges, plus a whole bunch of chicken and some Taco Bell stuff, but not nearly hundreds of dollars worth.

For lack of photos of Bobby with Colonel Sanders.

That's what I did today, anyhow. I came for the pro lacrosse team media day, but stayed for the pro soccer player fast food binge. Plus, I got a free iced-tea out of the deal, when Bobby Boswell didn't want the drink that came with his Chicken Gordita combo, since he already had a drink from his KFC combo. Probably I will now have to donate $1.09 to a charity of his choice in order to preserve the appearance of journalistic objectivity.

Anyhow, since I'm short on material, I will gladly report the following Bobby Boswell facts:

1) Bobby Boswell attempted to drop his parents off in Lot 8 following Sunday's win over Chivas. In Lot 8, delirious fans were chasing after Jaime Moreno when he drove by. Fans didn't chase after Bobby's car. They asked him to get out of the way. Plus, one kid threw a football at the car.

"Unless I have my uniform on, they have no idea who I am," he said, which I don't entirely believe. But he also said that on the DCU team flights (they fly commercial), they have to wear either team suits or training gear, and people in the adjoining seats will inevitably ask who they are, and whether they're a college team, or what their real jobs are.

"No, like, you don't understand, it's a league," Bobby will tell them.

"Oh, should I get your autograph?" they will then ask Bobby.

2) Wait, Bobby Boswell's parents were in town and they didn't contact me? After all I've done for them? I didn't even get a chance to share a Mocha Frappachino with Mrs. Boswell? That smarts. Especially since sources close to the situation indicate that Official DCU Beat Writer Steve Goff exchanged pleasantries with Mrs. Boswell at a DCU practice.

3) The highlights of the parental visit included a trip to Old Ebbitt Grill and a tour of the White House, during which Mr. Boswell, who has been on the tour before, gently corrected their tour guide for incorrect information. Truly, no blog in the world offers as much information on Bobby Boswell's parents as this one.

4) The White House tour was also attended by Clyde Simms's girlfriend, who actually went to high school with Bobby Boswell's girlfriend, who also went to high school with Jim Plunkett's daughter, Joe Cannon, "Mr. Mariucci's kids" and "Mr. Montgomery's" kids, Mr. Mariucci being Steve and Mr. Montgomery being Mike. Quite the athletic pedigree there.

5) During Devon McTavish's appearance in the Apple Blossom Festival Firefighters' Parade last weekend, he rode in an open Corvette and waved to the crowd. Bobby thought this was worth noting.

6) Oh, also, Bobby and girlfriend and parents got the Mayweather-De La Hoya fight. Didn't know this, but Bobby has spent a decent amount of time doing cardio training in boxing gyms, including one in D.C. His parents are fight fans, and they always watched the fights growing up. His girlfriend is not. Which is why they tried to convince her that the boxer in the lead always has to wear red shoes, and that if the points lead changes, the boxers have to switch shoes. Anyhow, for the record, Bobby thought De La Hoya should have been rewarded for taking the fight to Mayweather.

7) is running a contest in which, by taking a photo with Bobby in public, you can win a pair of his game shorts. If you're thinking, "that sounds like an awful lot of work for a sort of strange reward," you're probably not the only one. The number of entries thus far is more than minus-1 and less than 1. Point being, if you manage to get a photo with Bobby in public, I like your odds.

8) Me: "In my daughter's first few weeks, all she did was scream, go to the bathroom and sleep."

Bobby's girlfriend, to Bobby: "That sounds like you."

By Dan Steinberg  |  May 7, 2007; 3:38 PM ET
Categories:  D.C. United  
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very nice!

Posted by: littles | May 7, 2007 3:49 PM | Report abuse

The last time I saw Moreno arriving at a game, it was in a very recent edition, high-end Mercedes. I make about the same amount of money as Bobby Boswell, and I drive a '97 Civic with dents.

I'm guessing that, when Moreno arrives in his nice car and dyed blonde tips, even casual fans have to realize that he's got to be a star. If I drove up in my Civic and unimpressive hair, I would expect children to throw stuff at me.

I guess my advice to Bobby would be to dye his hair or steal a better car.

Posted by: Chest Rockwell | May 7, 2007 4:10 PM | Report abuse

"...Bobby Boswell's girlfriend, who also went to high school with Jim Plunkett's daughter, Joe Cannon..."


Posted by: DCAustinite | May 7, 2007 4:38 PM | Report abuse

"4) The White House tour was also attended by Clyde Simms's girlfriend, who actually went to high school with Bobby Boswell's girlfriend, who also went to high school with Jim Plunkett's daughter, Joe Cannon, "Mr. Mariucci's kids" and "Mr. Montgomery's" kids, Mr. Mariucci being Steve and Mr. Montgomery being Mike. Quite the athletic pedigree there."

I know my limitations. I'm just not smart enough to understand this.

Posted by: JSF | May 7, 2007 5:01 PM | Report abuse

Ok, point taken. Too many commas.

The following people went to the same high school: The girlfriends of Clyde Simms and Bobby Boswell, the daughter of Jim Plunkett, Joe Cannon (who is not related to Jim Plunkett), and the children of former Golden State Warriors coach Mike Montgomery and former San Fran 49ers coach Steve Mariucci.

Any further questions, e-mail Bobby.

Posted by: Dan Steinberg | May 7, 2007 5:07 PM | Report abuse


If you weren't stuck running around VC looking for missing/injured players, or deafened by the squeaking of customized sneakers on hardwood, you'd have known about the Boswell's being in town....or even if you'd read Goff's blog.

Posted by: Kim | May 7, 2007 5:16 PM | Report abuse

I was at the game yesterday with my partner and our son. She was using the binoculars during the halftime show at which point she said to me, "I think Colonel Sanders is out there." Sure 'nuf the guy was a dead ringer. So maybe you can get that photo.

Posted by: thebigc1982 | May 7, 2007 6:11 PM | Report abuse

I had DC United on one of my flights once, and Bobby's assesment was dead on. No one recognizes them for beng a pro-team (vs. college), even I had to take a second look to make sure. Best part was the look on their faces when the found out one of their pilots was in la Barra Brava...

Posted by: savannahfan | May 7, 2007 6:17 PM | Report abuse

"Best part was the look on their faces when the found out one of their pilots was in la Barra Brava..."

Was that look terror?

Posted by: jgildea8 | May 7, 2007 6:33 PM | Report abuse

Well, Dan, had you come to team practice either Friday or Saturday, I would have introduced myself. And I was specifically looking for you following both the Thursday and Sunday matches in the bowls of RFK where the media members leave after the press conference. No luck. As I told Mr. Goff (he was at practice), I don't think you love us anymore. Mr. Goff seems to think you will find some affection for us again now that the Wizards are done. I take this blog entry and the one about Devon MacTavish as confirmation of your renewed interest.

I find it very interesting that, when my husband and I were paying, Bobby took us to some very nice (i.e., expensive) restaurants over the weekend. As soon as we left, he started eating from a free meal card. HMMMM!

I can tell you that Bobby almost never gets recognized when we go out with him in DC. The exception was on Friday, when he was wearing his Ben Olsen jersey.

Perhaps I will see you during my next visit. And welcome back. I missed you.

Posted by: Susan Boswell | May 7, 2007 6:47 PM | Report abuse

Wow Dan.

Bog-enemy Steve Goff had to cover for you to's Mom!

Posted by: Kim | May 7, 2007 6:56 PM | Report abuse

I want!

Posted by: Grotus | May 8, 2007 8:18 AM | Report abuse

If I were and my salary was as crap as his, I'd look for free meals too... Holding out for the chance at the big payday is a bit rough on the wallet in the meantime. However, when is sitting back making £15,000 per week, he'll have great stories for the locker room about making £15,000 per year...

Posted by: DCFan | May 8, 2007 9:45 AM | Report abuse

My girlfriend actually flew on the same flight as United out to Denver to visit me last year (2 years? I lose track). She shrieked and went over to them and was very flustered. The official report is that Gros is very cute with his glasses on, Olsen is excellent at handling star-struck females, Simms looks like the guy from CSI up close, she couldn't understand a damn thing Nowak said, and that everyone is much shorter than they appear on TV, especially Freddy. It must've been weird for them to have to behave like real celebrities--apparently Olsen is the only one who was smooth about it.

Incidentally, my boos caught them on a return flight and called me, telling me that he was sitting next to "the one who looked like a South American" Tom Cruise.

I can only figure Erpen.

Posted by: Anonymous | May 8, 2007 10:30 AM | Report abuse

Welcome back to the Bog, Bobby Boswell's mom! Dan may be slacking on going to practice, but we know you set the standard for DC United parents posting on the Bog.

Posted by: MM | May 8, 2007 12:17 PM | Report abuse

The idea of Bobby Boswell walking around in a Ben Olsen jersey is hiLARious.

Posted by: fastacton | May 8, 2007 12:43 PM | Report abuse

"The exception was on Friday, when he was wearing his Ben Olsen jersey."

Did they think he was Olsen? :D

Posted by: Srdan La Barra | May 9, 2007 11:49 AM | Report abuse

I see Perkins driving around Tysons in his little red mini all the time.

I have yet to ram him or scream out the window or anything.

Maybe next time.

Posted by: MattR | May 9, 2007 1:25 PM | Report abuse

If you can drive a car fast enough to ram (rather than merely rear-end) a car in Tysons, I'll be shocked.

Posted by: ouij | May 10, 2007 12:19 PM | Report abuse

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