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Today's Top Five: Rock Paper Scissors Tips

1) From We Rite Goode, some crucial advice on the Rock Paper Scissors throwdowns happening at California Tortilla locations across the area tomorrow. For example: "Give off false tells. Straight out of poker. Nervously clench and unclench your hand--you're screaming paper all the way. Then come in with the rock to nail your opponent's scissors. Ka-blam!" If you win, you get $1 off your burrito. If you lose, public stoning.

2) The Loss Column offers unofficial, non-Vegas odds on the Orioles' next manager. Joe Girardi, who was once traded for Mike DeJean (!), is at 5-3. If I were betting this, I'd put down a little on Dusty Baker at 20-1 and a lot on the field at 150-1. Hey, you never know.

3) If you enjoy the Wizznutzz, you really ought to check out this from The Wayward Oriole. It's unclear to me exactly how the sites are related, but they both make me feel kinda funny. TWO's post-Perlozzo post has some nice mascot vids and a lot of stuff I don't understand, plus this: "as storm has beset crew inside big old warehouse, wayward O has contented himself with knowing that, as far as mascots go, orioles are nonpareil. and by nonpareil wayward O means 'good' -- not sprinkles that go on ice cream cone! anyway sprinkles are very ORSULAK-era, whereas in GIBBONs-era we have DIP-n-DOTz."

4) The Nats reveal that there's no such person as Nook Logan, and that this was all a Dave Chappelle skit. Tad Cranky, the author, has friends in this Down-With-Nook movement. I really wish the Nook Logan Chronicles would do more than cut and paste newspaper stories; Nook needs an articulate defender about now.

5) While local fans don't really have anyone to root for in the 32-player "Criminal Invitational Classic" up on Batting Cage Hero, there is some hope. Qyntel Woods is in a different bracket from Mike Vick, "leading to the possibility of a Dogfight Derby in the final four. Clinton Portis has agreed to guest-referee the match should it occur, and all necessary waivers have been approved."


A list of overweight athletes that doesn't include a single member of the Washington Nationals (Doberman on the Diamond)

A local blogger is singlehandedly responsible for dooming Brandon Watson's hit streak (Gheorghe: The Blog)

An extensive interview with me and a bunch of other sort of mainstream sports bloggers, including Dan Shanoff, Randball and Peter Abraham (Ballhype)

By Dan Steinberg  |  June 19, 2007; 3:32 PM ET
Categories:  What You Need to Know  
Save & Share:  Send E-mail   Facebook   Twitter   Digg   Yahoo Buzz   StumbleUpon   Technorati   Google Buzz   Previous: Jim Courier Copies Gilbert Arenas
Next: College Stars Have Blog Fever


The Curse of GTB is indeed real. Just like UFOs, astral projections, mental telepathy, ESP, clairvoyance, spirit photography, telekinetic movement, full trance mediums, the Loch Ness monster and the theory of Atlantis. Ask Drs. Venkman and Stantz if you don't believe me.

Posted by: GTB | June 19, 2007 3:52 PM | Report abuse

The criminal invitational has genius potential. Why isn't the Smoking Gun already doing this?

Posted by: DD | June 19, 2007 6:08 PM | Report abuse

love Nook. he's a really nice guy. gave my wife his batting gloves last game of the year last season. we saw him in spring training and signed our pictures we took of him. real accomodating for folks that know his name. not so much for the kids screamming "hey mister". anyway, nice guy. can't hit from the left side, but a nice guy.

i added your widget to my blog. feel free to check it out. my blog, not your widget.


Posted by: Dave @ Bottomfeeder Baseball Blog | June 19, 2007 6:50 PM | Report abuse

My criminal invitational final four picks are OJ, Michael Vick, Elijah Dukes, and Tyson. I know, chalk picks.

Posted by: onside kick | June 19, 2007 7:00 PM | Report abuse

Rock paper scissors!!!

I need to go get my lucha libre mask.

Posted by: Chest Rockwell | June 20, 2007 2:29 PM | Report abuse

So, nothing on how the local blogs were all over the Caps new uniforms accidentally being leaked yesterday? For shame Dan, it was a glorious day for "teh internets"

Posted by: FS | June 20, 2007 4:02 PM | Report abuse

gtb actually is single-handedly responsible for getting brandon watson called up to the bigs. i think he owes us lunch.

Posted by: rob | June 20, 2007 4:31 PM | Report abuse

Just to let you know, I did go to California Tortilla for dinner. I challenged my cashier Ray and won, using rock to crush scissors. It was a wonderful moment.

Posted by: Chest Rockwell | June 21, 2007 10:13 AM | Report abuse

Rock: Always wins. Well-played, Rockwell.

Posted by: DD | June 24, 2007 11:02 PM | Report abuse

The new shampoo that just came out is excellent. Lets just say "I dont have the urge to scratch" my scalp that is

Posted by: Dan Druff | June 26, 2007 3:53 AM | Report abuse

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