I have to say, when my bosses agreed to let me blog this tournament, they were probably thinking there would be more telling tales of Tiger's to-doings, and fewer 1,600-word essays about Cliff Kresge. But I'm going to make it up to you.
How? By linking to Ohm Youngmisuk's live blog at New York Daily News land. It's called "On Tiger's Tail." Ohm's editors wanted him to blog about Tiger. I think they assumed that the WaPo would be doing the same. Little did they know about our special secret blog plans: "On Kresge's Caboose." Now we've forced the Daily News to play catch-up. Anyhow, here's some Tiger coverage, stolen from the competition:
Walking through the crowd on narrow walkways is kind of like waiting for the trains at rush hour in the subway. You hear everybody's conversation. A couple of people were talking about President Bush's controversial pardon, er, commuting of "Scooter" Libby's sentencing. I'm not going to get into that because this isn't Ohm's political blog but only in DC would you hear a few people debating this a couple of days after the fact....Yeah, that sounds about right. The Tiger Roar is legitimately strange. Every time he swings. They can't all be great shots, can they? I mean, I've said it before but I'll say it again: he's tied with Cliff Kresge. That must mean something.
I feel for golf fans. You sit at one spot and see them go past you like you were watching NASCAR. Then you get up and move as soon as Tiger is done to the next hole where there are already a billion fans waiting to see Tiger tee off. And you keep doing this for 18 holes where there are like three to four people deep standing near the ropes. Yet they keep cheering Tiger, thanking Tiger at every hole and screaming "Get in the hole" whenever he strikes the ball.
Lemme quote co-leader Stuart Appleby.
Q: This being Tiger's tournament, you were one of his closest friends early on....
A: What, has he dumped me or something? Has he fallen out of love? Did he say something?
Q: We don't see the side of him that a lot of you guys do.
A: You shouldn't, either. He's a disgusting pig.
Wait, one more quote before I leave. From co-leader K.J. Choi:
Q: How about the greens and the fairways?
Oh wait, two more things:
1) The official Spectator Guide contains 15 images of Tiger Woods.
It also contains pleasing prose about Congressional:
"On the front edge of the roaring 20s, Congressman Oscar E. Bland and O.R. Lubring of Indiana set out to provide an informal common ground where politicians and businessmen could meet as peers, unconstrained by bureaucratic red tape."
Red tape prevented them from finding an informal common ground to meet as peers? Does "red tape" mean "laws" or something?
And about Tiger:
"In a world filled with athletes who lollygag to first base and give half-hearted efforts on the field, not to mention their off-field antics, legal or otherwise, Woods stands out for his consistent excellence each and every time he takes the stage. The fact that he has carried himself with such impeccable manners and decorum out of the spotlight is even more impressive, because the public knows he's the exception, not the rule."
Someone run that through Babelfish and tell me what it means, please.
2) I believe my favorite moment of the tournament came at No. 5 this morning, when Brian Davis was getting ready to putt just as a course worker tried to take apart the Chill Smooth Fruit Ice snack umbrella. It made noise. This noise made Brian Davis's caddie sad. He expressed his sadness to the Chill Smooth Fruit Ice snack umbrella de-constructor. The de-constructor apologized, and then all was well again.
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