Harrison the Breath Sniffer
Because I hate leaving loose ends untied, yesterday I chatted with Harrison, the famed Bowie Baysox intern and proprietor of Harrison's Halitosis Hut, where the raunchiest breath was to be determined during last Friday's Baysox Bad Breath Night.
Harrison is a sophomore sports management major from West Virginia University (but he's not from WV, so save those jokes) who is a marketing intern this summer and appears to be quite ambitious. He actually came up with the brilliant idea of the bad breath tent, and if he didn't expect that he would wind up on the wrong end of that tent, well, he probably should have. And when the call did come, he was ready.
"After I thought about it, I said, 'You know what, I'll do it',"he told me. "As an intern you want to get as much involved and as much out of it as you can."
Only in Washington. Anyhow, in what he described as a "MacGyver-type move," they went to Home Depot, got a mask and some duct tape and an insulation tube, and made a breath conveyer that would deliver bad breath directly to young Harrison's nostrils. Of course, the bad breathers covered their mouths with tissue, to prevent germs.
Over the course of the night, Harrison smelled about 20 people's breath, many more than once. There were two small kids who were very earnest and determined and offered to drink a bottle of vinegar, but they couldn't touch the winner.
"I felt bad," Harrison said of the youths. "I got them some t-shirts and said 'thank you for participating'."
As for the winner, he apparently ate four raw onions, including one filled with horseradish, banana peppers, relish, barbeque sauce, and ice cream. Plus he was drinking and smoking cigarettes all night. I asked Harrison what his breath smelled like, hoping the answer was "the demon scent of rotting flesh mixed with pure hate," but instead this is what he said.
"Just a raw, in your face type of deal," he said. "Just one smell of hardcore. you just kind of jumped back, oh my God, one of those kind of things."
He said he didn't have any nightmares, and while he thought he smelled garlic all evening, that was probably his imagination. He said he'd do it again, and he's very hopeful other teams will follow the Baysox's lead.
"Maybe teams will call us next year and say 'We caught wind of it'," he said.
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