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Today's Top Five: Duping the Junkies

Introductory note: Like mad blogger Ivan Carter, I'm going to Vegas for a few days of Summer League and WSOP. If I can only get Chris "Jesus" Ferguson to go to that Russian restaurant with me and Oleksiy Pecherov and Harvey Grant and Kyle Visser and Norman Chad, I'll be willing to accept a buyout and go back to work selling high-end French sheep's milk cheese for the rest of my career.

I will also note that, in my career, I'm 2-for-2 on Vegas WNBA bets. Sadly, WNBA All-Star Week, which Adrian Fenty will officially proclaim tomorrow night, will limit my chances to get rich this week. But if anyone knows of any obscure sports that would be worth a theoretical, mind-only, non-ombudsman-inciting look, feel free to let me have it. Can you bet on rugby, by the way?

1) Whilst I was consumed with golf, we had some major local blog stories, starting with The Junkies being duped by Every Day Should be Saturday. Snide commenters aside, I think the Junkies are pretty likeable, or at least, they have been to me. But my friend and countryman Mister Irrelevant is apparently not a fan. Anyhow, as for the spoof, I still believe that Belgium has been split in two, so they get a pass.

2) I simply cannot believe that Kwame Brown went to a lesbian bar (You Been Blinded, via The Big Lead). Is this another spoof? Where is KwameBrownSucks on this story? Is he yet again being drawn toward the bust?

3) I'll admit that I had no idea there was a movement to retire Jason Simontacchi's number. That's via FanHaus, via The Examiner, which says S-Tacc is a cult hero in St. Louis. But he wouldn't even crack the Top 5 of Nationals cult heroes (Meat Hook, Fick, Nook Logan, Chad Cordero, Winston Abreu, imo). Tough town, D.C.

4) Winning the Turnover Battle says the Wizards are low-balling DeShawn Stevenson. Official Wizards Beat Reporter Ivan Carter has since reported that the Wiz have upped their offer, and that things look good. I cannot possibly stress enough how badly I want DeShawn Stevenson to return to D.C. I'm guessing at least 45 percent of last year's locker room madness was due to Stevenson, plus, he's promised to go mohawk this fall. That's gotta be worth at least $500k to Wiz brass.

5) Another drinking game, this one for The Home Run Derby, which I'm only linking because it comes from the Home Run Derby blog. Honestly, I'd rather watch a televised MLS Soccer Tennis Tournament than the Home Run Derby, though. Take two drinks if Luciano Emilio heads a winner while screaming "You're Beautiful To Me."

By Dan Steinberg  |  July 9, 2007; 11:39 AM ET
Categories:  What You Need to Know  
Save & Share:  Send E-mail   Facebook   Twitter   Digg   Yahoo Buzz   StumbleUpon   Technorati   Google Buzz   Previous: Cliff Kresge: The Aftermath
Next: Ronnie Belliard Sends a Man to Prison


You should throw money on the Redskins to win the Super Bowl. Then when it happens, you can bribe the ombudswoman with your huge pile of cash.

Posted by: John Taylor | July 9, 2007 11:43 AM | Report abuse

"But if anyone knows of any obscure sports that would be worth a theoretical, mind-only, non-ombudsman-inciting look, feel free to let me have it."

tour de france starts this week, doesn't it?

Posted by: bryc3 | July 9, 2007 11:57 AM | Report abuse

What's the line on Wednesday Sactown Summer League game?

Posted by: Unsilent Majority | July 9, 2007 11:59 AM | Report abuse

bryc3: I think Sally "Lance is soooo dreamy" Jenkins has already gone to the ombudsman for a ruling on that one.

Posted by: Rob Iola | July 9, 2007 12:17 PM | Report abuse

so instead of the HR Derby, I ask:

Who's going to be blogging from Iverson's posse's house(s) after the decision today?

Also, Chuck Klosterman is next to the MCI Center in 2.5 hrs. Someone should/could live-blog such an event. (not really)

Posted by: smperk | July 9, 2007 4:19 PM | Report abuse

The problem is that they use annoying, Swingers-era slang like "money" and "donkey" and "silly" until you want to flip your car on the Beltway/Toll Road/66/whatever. They also have too many racist, homophobic and sexist tendencies for my taste. It's too bad, really, because I spend an hour in the car most mornings and the only other sports talk options are the insufferable Mike & Mike and Steve Czaban, who's alright but sounds like he's mailing it in most of the time.

QFE from Mister Irrelevant

//Goff allows blockquotes...

Posted by: sitruc | July 10, 2007 12:53 AM | Report abuse

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