The Mike Sellers Beard
Note: This item will appear in tomorrow's paper....
On Day III of training camp, we bring you the New Hair Report. (Hey, it's a long preseason. Pacing is important.)
The most dramatic follicular development likely concerns fullback Mike Sellers, who showed up to camp with a two-toned beard, dyed blond at the bottom.
(Aside: Sellers also showed up weighing about 272 pounds, 12 less than his previously listed weight. "A lot of protein shakes, not eating good food, and a lot of water," he explained. "My dad's from the South, so I'm used to eating cornbread, fried chicken, all that stuff. I had to give it all up.")
(Another aside: Sellers also is sporting several new tattoos on his left arm: three large "See no evil, hear no evil, speak no evil" skulls accompanied by the words "Fear No Man," and a dark script of his nickname, "Dat Boy.")
As for the beard, Sellers said it was intended to complement his shiny pate.
"Right before camp, I didn't have no hair on my head, so I was like 'I've got to do something'," he said. "I figured it would be a first. I knew the guys would get a kick out of it."
And they have, to a degree, dubbing Sellers "T-Pain," after the R&B artist. His daughter thinks he looks like a pro wrestler, and the reaction from teammates appears to be generally positive.
"It fits him, a light-skinned guy," defensive lineman Phillip Daniels said. "A dark-skinned guy couldn't get away with that."
"I'm not into the blond type of thing, but it looks hard," guard Randy Thomas said. "It looks like he wants to kill somebody."
This was intended as a compliment, football-speaking, although Sellers's girlfriend, Jane Everets, clarified the description.
"What type of killer, like a psycho killer?" she asked. "Nooo. A killer on the football field, but off the field, he's a big baby."
Moving on, we come to rookie tight end Brian Bell, whose long dreadlocks have been cascading out of his helmet for four or five years. After Pittsburgh Steelers safety Troy Polamalu was famously tackled by his hair, some fans have agitated for shorter stylings, but Bell was unconcerned.
"Even when I was in college, people used to grab at it, so I'm used to it now," Bell said. "My strength is in my hair; that's my theory."
Finally, don't overlook wide receiver Brandon Lloyd, whose hair is subtly sculpted into a round mound near the front.
"I don't know, that ain't my cup of tea," Thomas said, "I couldn't go home with that."
"That's B. Lloyd though," Antwaan Randle El said. "Tomorrow he might come in, he might be bald. He's different like that."
Still, Lloyd enthusiastically defended his choice.
"It's European," he maintained. "It's just a worldly haircut. It expresses my personality. It's different, and nobody else wears it. Nobody has, ever. I've never seen an individual with this haircut, ever."
Speaking of unique cuts, several of Lloyd's offseason musical adventures can be heard on his MySpace page, including "I Get That Chedda," a remix of Fabolous's "Make Me Better," on which Lloyd collaborates with local artists Chaotic and Vital. Suffice it to say, the lyrics aren't exactly fit for a family newspaper.
Posted by: Sean | July 29, 2007 10:54 PM | Report abuse
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