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Today's Top Five: O's Fans Strike Back

1) I've lamented the large visiting crowds at RFK baseball games, and Orioles fans are likewise stricken by this malady. Their response: let's go to an O's-Red Sox game en masse and taunt those invasive New Englanders. From The Loss Column, which is leading this movement:

Andy MacPhail, scouring the premises for Red Sox fans. (Steve Ruark -- Associated Press)
This is not a "protest". It isn't about Peter Angelos or Mike Flanagan or Jim Duquette. It's about the guys on the field who play hard in a Baltimore Orioles uniform. They deserve better than playing extra road games every year on account of sewer rat Red Sox and Yankees fans invading our city. What's more, the city itself deserves better. Why should local bartenders and waiters and vendors have to suffer the indignity of those fools with the funny accents walking around like they own the joint?

Yeah. Stupid winners. The event is Sept. 8. Taunting is encouraged. Violence is not. Kids and wives and girlfriends are off-limits. No word on husbands. I think this is all swell, but I'm having trouble swallowing the argument that Boston and New York are "crappy cities." And Baltimore is, what, Venice on the Chesapeake?

2) Back from vacation, Capitol Punishment shows that the Nats have become an increasingly impatient, hack-first team under new hitting coach Lenny Harris, and that their offense has gone from perhaps the worst to clearly the worst in the league. Speaking of impatient, when exactly does this season end?

3) But hark, a reason to pay attention! Nationals Enquirer presents the Top 10 Nats' Story Lines for the second half. That ought to get you fired up, at least through July 20 or so.

4) With Freddy Adu dominating, bloggers are now free to salivate. Rumors and Rants obliges, comparing him to Michael Jordan, Tiger Woods, Kobe Bryant and Tom Brady in his late-game ruthlessness. So we're back to keeping expectations low for the lad.

5) And fine, this is all inside jokes, but the Wizznutzz discuss Gilbert's island dreams, which I first saw last night during the Sixers-Suns Summer League game (featuring D.J. Strawberry), which was taking place in front of my eyes but which did not feature anything nearly as entertaining as this:

Is Agent Zero having a mental breakdown like Paul Gauguin or ex-Orioles outfielder Jeffry "Kurtz" Hammonds and hoping to escape vertigo of western progress by running to a calming world of fruit and nakedness and wideopen crazy?

Also, in honor of Gilbert's reference to "Marvin Brando," WNTZ created said Brando's IMDB page. Len Sakata. Wondrous.

Bonus: Fire Joe Morgan is picking on Michael Wilbon. I don't think I really like this post, because I like Wilbon. But I do hope that he didn't mess with OPS, because that will surely invoke bad karma and blogger outrage.

Bonus 2: Bobby Boswell in Men's Journal, being called part of "The real face of MLS," as opposed to Becks. Speaking of Bobby Boswell, here were his "Top Five Reasons I Tell Girls They Should Date Me," as submitted to the Atlanta Journal-Constitution (sorry, can't find a link).

5. I was a childhood TV star on the Nickelodeon show GUTS.

4. Though most people don't think I'm good looking, Cosmo named me as one of their hottest bachelors last year.

3. Kids like me - I was named D.C. United's Humanitarian of the Year twice!

2. I can make them internet stars on my website,

1. There's a pretty good chance they'll get to see David Beckham up close and personal.

By Dan Steinberg  |  July 12, 2007; 12:51 PM ET
Categories:  Orioles  
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"What's more, the city itself deserves better."

I beg to differ

Posted by: Unsilent Majority | July 12, 2007 1:03 PM | Report abuse

I like Wilbon too. But I cringed yesterday when I watched PTI.

Come on, Mike. You can't be one of those "stats are for nerds" meatheads, can you? You had to have at least read Moneyball, right?

Posted by: Michael Lewis | July 12, 2007 1:32 PM | Report abuse

I love the Orioles, but c'mon. People who have lived in Baltimore all their lives have funny, weird accents, too. Why do you think Scott Van Pelt always screans, "We're goin' to see the Orio's, hon" on SportsCenter. The accent becomes progressively worse if you happen to traverse into areas such as Dundalk or Arbutus.

Posted by: Colin | July 12, 2007 1:37 PM | Report abuse

That's why I'm glad I grew up outside of Baltimore so I'm not afflicted with that oddest of accent. (That said, the Boston accent is the most annoying, and the New York accent simply elicits a false bravado on the part of the speaker. It's like a city full of people with Napoleon complexes.)

Posted by: Colin | July 12, 2007 1:39 PM | Report abuse

That's not really Michael Lewis!

Posted by: Tabitha Soren | July 12, 2007 1:41 PM | Report abuse

The Island of Al Jarreau is the funniest thing I've seen in while. Even if the Wiz never win anything, the Wizznutz make it all worthwhile.

Posted by: al | July 12, 2007 1:43 PM | Report abuse

Your mom thinks OPS is a better statistic than batting average. BUUUUUURNN!!!

Posted by: Skin Patrol | July 12, 2007 1:46 PM | Report abuse

i thought baltimore was manassas on the chesapeake.

Posted by: bryc3 | July 12, 2007 1:46 PM | Report abuse

like any group of o's fans are going to attend an o's game en masse. good one, steinbog.

Posted by: rob | July 12, 2007 3:55 PM | Report abuse

are, is...whatever

Posted by: rob | July 12, 2007 3:56 PM | Report abuse

The Wizznutzz have truly outdone themselves this time. Ken Burns' "Frankfurter"? That is tremendous.

Posted by: Chest Rockwell | July 12, 2007 3:58 PM | Report abuse

"O's fans strike back"

Now thats funny! Must be
a quick strike....LMAOROFL

Posted by: caphcky | July 13, 2007 2:29 PM | Report abuse

"i thought baltimore was manassas on the chesapeake."

Posted by: bryc3 | July 12, 2007 01:46 PM

Don't insult Manassas by comparing it to Baltimore.

But speaking of the Red Sox, could the Nats PLEASE stop playing "Sweet Caroline" at games? 1) It's not original; the Mets and N.Y. Rangers play it too. Be a leader, not a follower. 2) It painfully reminds us of the array of Ivy League yuppies so many of us Washington natives unfortunately have to work for, and resent.

Posted by: Vincent | July 15, 2007 4:06 PM | Report abuse

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