Training Camp Tailgating
I mean, we're talking about training camp. Not a game. Ok? Not a game. Training camp. Training camp. Not a game.
But yeah, we had tailgaters. A group of eight-to-ten guys, who came out here in 2005 at the wrong time, five hours before camp opened, then parked in the median, and decided to tailgate. So it became a tradition. And today they again came out five hours early--yes, five hours before training camp began--and brought with them 40 hamburgers, which they claimed represented 50 pounds of meat. They claimed they were man-childs, although I argued that it should be man-children. They claimed they ate the meat raw.
"Redskins fans only eat raw meat," Mitch Namrow, one of the ringleaders, told me. "We eat Eagle and Giant and Cowboy meat."
Other NFC East fans, have at that quote. [And feel free to guess which area private high school these guys attended.]
Anyhow, I discovered these guys because they were the first ones sprinting toward the field when the gates opened at 4 pm, and they immediately spied Sean Taylor, and they then immediately began bellowing in his direction.
"THAT'S SEAN TAYLOR!!!! YOU KILL PEOPLE AND GET AWAY WITH IT!!!! SEAN!!!!! SEAN!!!!! YOUR VEINS ARE BIGGER THAN MY ARMS!!!! YOU ARE SO FAST FOR A LARGE MAN!!!!! SEAN!!!! SEAN!!!!!! SEAN!!!! SEAN YOU WERE BORN APRIL 1, 2003!!!!!"
Etc. They printed out rosters. Eventually, Sean Taylor turned toward them and waved, and they lost their minds. Then OL Ross Tucker appeared. They yelled at him. He gave them the thumbs-up. They asked for another thumbs-up. He complied. They asked again. Again, he saluted them.
"THIS IS JUST THE BEGINNING ROSS!!!!!!" they yelled. They began shouting out his biographical data. But then Mike Sellers appeared, and they yelled louder, Mike Sellers being the sort of guy to incite passion in impressionable young men.
"MIKE SELLERS, ARM WRESTLING, LET'S GO, RIGHT NOW!!!!!!" Mitch yelled.
"ROSS I LIKE YOU BETTER ROSS, DON'T YOU WORRY, I LIKE YOU BETTER," Mitch's younger brother Greg Namrow aka "Wor Man Gerg" shouted out.
When they were seniors in high school, these training camp tailgaters found out where Clinton Portis lived, went to his house and got him to make a video for their high school homecoming. Enterprising chaps.
"MIKE SELLERS, 6-3 284 POUNDS OF MUSCLE, OF MAN!!!!!" Greg Namrow said. "BORN IN 1975!!!!!!!" Etc.
"Namrow, you're sprinting a marathon here," one of his buddies pointed out, worried about his vocal longevity, but when Mike Sellers makes his first appearance of training camp, it's worth pointing out that he's 284 pounds of man, I believe.
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