Chris Cooley and the Strippers
This clearly should have been the lede of Mike Wise's column today. I mean, if Mike Wise were a blogger, there'd be no question about the matter. Going to an adult entertainment parlor called Vixens Gentlemen's Club with his fiance--a former Redskins cheerleader--and her family, at which point the owner recognized the party?
"Everyone knew who Chris was," Christy said. "The owner came out, they gave us VIP treatment and all of a sudden I look up and the strippers are dancing to 'Hail to the Redskins.' It was crazy."
(Is it worth mentioning that Vixen's already wound up on the team's official message board in something known as "The Official Strip Club Thread." Yes, it is.)
Strippers in West Virginia dancing to Hail to the Redskins? Drinking 21 shots of Jim Beam with his future father-in-law? Partying in a Wild West Saloon with Dale Earnhardt Jr., who drives for the enemy, incidentally? Joe Gibbs better slip three or four thousand copies of the Bible to his starting tight end. And an invite to meet Denny Hamlin.
[P.S.: Denny Hamlin is coming to camp tonight.]
Of course, it was Write About Chris day across the medialand. The AP's Joseph White noted two fun details that Mike Wise couldn't fit in:
1) Cooley and some other well-known vets had a countdown clock last year till the end of the season:
"It was horrible," he said. "We had a day count going from, like, 90 days. We'd come in and we'd go, like, '89 days left.' We were out of the playoffs with five games left. It's tough to come into work. And you do the best you can.
2) He named his dog George, a big dumb Great Dane, after "George" from "Of Mice and Men." As for the cats, Lily and Daisy, "Obviously you can tell that I did not name them," he said.
Here's a Richmond Times-Dispatch profile that decides to eschew humor, because, you know, no one's really interested in that. He does have this quote: "I have thick, big legs." Right on.
[See also: the wonderful newish blog Sandy, Baby, which says this:
Dudes, my mind has been blown. Amazing stuff by Kornheiser Lite. Frankly, I'm a little surprised he scooped Agent Steinzz on this stuff. Steinzz needs to step up his game a little bit and rise to the challenge here.
Like I said yesterday, I was embargoed by Wise. I can take the insult in exchange for the "Kornheiser Lite" tag. Love it.
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