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Local Man Aims to Win Millions

Ok, he's from Roanoke, which isn't really local, except in the sense that Virginia Tech plays in Blacksburg and is "local," so whatever.

Anyhow, this guy has to go to Vegas and try to make a 40-foot putt for $one million$. His argument is that any 30-handicapper will get lucky and hit a 40-foot putt once in a while. My argument is that I've never hit a 40-foot putt in my life, and so these circumstances would not likely be the necessary spur to change that luck:

"There's supposed to be all kinds of people yelling and screaming," Gray said. "There will be showgirls, elephants, chimps. They even had like a dancing girl and a midget on their Web site, and the midget is asking you, 'Do you think you've got the guts to take on Las Vegas?' They'll probably go in one of the bars and empty out a couple hundred drunks to come out there and holler and yell at me. Y'all come on! That's all I got to say!

"Now I think about it, I'll probably need a couple of drinks before I go out there ... I'll take a shot [of liquor] or drink a couple beers or something. I'm going to come out waving and high-fiving everybody and low-fiving the chimpanzees."

Plus he has to use their putter. Plus John Kruk is going to be there. Presumably to offer advice on how to make that ball disappear.

[Edit: B's right, that was distasteful. I retract it. Apologies.]

By Dan Steinberg  |  August 7, 2007; 3:44 PM ET
Categories:  Golf  
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John Kruk is going to be there to "offer advice on how to make the ball disappear"...

Seeing as how he only has one 'downstairs', that is a possibility...

He will think it's food and eat it is another possibility

Seriously, I will be here all night!

Posted by: VaBeach | August 7, 2007 4:51 PM | Report abuse

How long did you debate leaving that last line in?

Judging from my golfing past, I would be able to sink a 40 foot putt only if I had taken 9 strokes to get to the green. If I got to the green with a respectable number, I would promptly four- or five-putt.

Posted by: Chest Rockwell | August 7, 2007 5:21 PM | Report abuse


Posted by: Mike in SD | August 7, 2007 5:31 PM | Report abuse

Very distasteful and offensive John Kruk remark. For those of us who know survivors of testicular cancer - we know it is not a laughing matter.

Posted by: B | August 7, 2007 5:33 PM | Report abuse

"Ok, he's from Roanoke, which isn't really local, except in the sense that Virginia Tech plays in Blacksburg and is "local," so whatever."

Not at all local.

Posted by: sitruc | August 8, 2007 1:46 AM | Report abuse

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