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Portis Plays Math Again

The CP Calibrator is clicking again, and here's what it spit out, according to The Times's David Elfin:

(Greg Fiume - Getty Images)
"I'm about 85 percent, maybe 95 percent tomorrow, probably 98 by game time," he said. "Hopefully [coach Joe Gibbs] will understand [that] I'm only 98 percent and keep me on the sidelines [for Thursday's preseason finale at Jacksonville]. By Week 1, I have to be 100 percent."

I've never known an athlete with more precise percentage calculations than Clinton Portis. Anyhow, if they're talking about giving him four or five carries, I don't see the point. Frankly, I don't see the point of one carry, after he's already missed all the preseason games that matter, to the extent that any preseason games matter. What if he gets hurt on that one play, going against second-team guys in a game that means nothing? What massive benefits will he or the team get from his carrying the ball four times?

Regardless, the CP Calibrator was one of the few bright spots from last September, as evidenced by the following:

Sept. 9, 2006: "On Thursday, Portis said he was at 75 percent healthy. Friday he joked that he was up to 83 percent. Yesterday was 93.9. "We've got two more days to get a six percent increase. Right now, I'll get some good rest, and hopefully get up to 98 or 99 percent and be a game-time decision," he said, adding that he was aided by the game being played on Monday. "It helped me out a lot. To shoot for Sunday, being at 98.5, missing that 1.5 percent could have hurt me."

Sept. 21, 2006: "I'm about 105 percent and climbing."

Without knowing the context, it's impossible judge how serious Gibbs was when he said this yesterday, but here's what he said: "Clinton's got a lot of comical stuff, but sometimes I wish he wasn't the comic." Jeez. All we can watch is fake football games, and now we're not even allowed to have the CP Calibrator to keep us interested? But Gibbs also got into the odds game when asked about Marcus Washington's health; "If I'm a betting man, I'd bet on Marcus," he said, according to The Examiner, without saying what sort of betting line he was getting.

In a final note: Clinton Portis's use of non-grammatical language has already caused a buzz, when Mike Wise used his authentic words and former Postie Howard Bryant changed them and the Ombudsman weighed in. Well, we now need the Omb to settle a Post-Times dispute.

Post: "Hopefully I showed them enough in practice where I ain't got to play on Thursday," Portis said.

Times: "Hopefully I showed them enough in practice where I don't have to play on Thursday."

Wash Times: Please don't change quotes. Thanks.

By Dan Steinberg  |  August 29, 2007; 9:18 AM ET
Categories:  Redskins  
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Next: The Eagles Vomit


Ooooh! Burn. Thank that Times.

Posted by: Sherm | August 29, 2007 9:37 AM | Report abuse

Let's just be honest here - he doesn't want to play in the preseason. EVER.

Posted by: they stink | August 29, 2007 9:53 AM | Report abuse

He is ridiculous. Can't wait until he gets hurt again in Week 2.

Posted by: Prophet | August 29, 2007 10:21 AM | Report abuse

There's no reason for running backs to play in the pre-season. the qb's and receivers have to work on their timing and the o-line has to gel as a unit. rb's need to just run the damn ball, and Clinton's gonna do that against Miami.

Posted by: Unsilent Majority | August 29, 2007 10:34 AM | Report abuse

Of course he doesn't want to play in the preseason. Apart from the injury last year, why would any player with a contract want to play in the preseason where you can get hurt and you are not paid? If your boss asked you to come in on Sundays without pay, wouldn't you look for any excuse to get out of it?

Posted by: Bart | August 29, 2007 11:45 AM | Report abuse

Any blog that disses the Washington Times is a blog I will continue to read! I'm still waiting for them to link Bad Newz Kennels to the Hillary Clinton campaign.

Posted by: Joe the Fan | August 29, 2007 12:10 PM | Report abuse

The Washington Times is pretty "hurting."

At this point, I'm pretty sure that most 'skins fans realize that Clinton's diction and use of the english language (like a lot of athletes) is not perfect. Just quote the guy accurately.

Posted by: WaPoLiveFan16 | August 29, 2007 1:16 PM | Report abuse

I think he had Russ Parr and the gang on the brain when he said he was 93.9.

Love that subliminal plug for the people's station.

Posted by: | August 29, 2007 2:11 PM | Report abuse

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