Sellers and Superman
Mike Sellers looked so sad after the game. Someone would ask him whether he wanted the ball at the goal-line, and he would look frown slightly, and look sad, and sigh, and say yeah sure he would love to have the ball but he doesn't call the plays.
"You know, I'm very confident," he said at one point. "I don't think I'm Superman, but I'm very confident that I can churn out the hard yards. I guess I've got to keep begging a little more."
This quote particularly struck me, since out in the parking lot before the game, James Nicoll had been displaying a sign that said "Superman Wears Mike Sellers Pajamas to Bed." Talk about foreshadowing.
"Cuz Mike Sellers is pretty much unstoppable," Nicoll explained. "He's, like, 280 pounds of man. It takes at least 750 pounds of man to bring down Mike Sellers. You know, Superman has to respect Mike Sellers. It's against physics to pack more man into his uniform. I'm just worried that later in the season, they're going to call 12 men on the Redskins, because the referees are going to think Mike Sellers is two men. I mean, I just had a dream that I was tackling Mike Sellers and I woke up with a broken collarbone and a big boot on my face. It's ridiculous, really. He should get the ball on probably 98 percent of the plays."
Fans, it turns out, like Mike Sellers. Based on all of this, I kind of wondered why Nicoll had just the one Mike Sellers sign.
"I figured if I made too many Mike Sellers signs, women would get pregnant from the sheer power of Mike Sellers," he said.
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