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Brandon Lloyd = Satan

Proper blogging subjects.

According to sources close to the situation who have done extensive reporting on the matter, Brandon Lloyd is at once a Communist, a Fascist, a Wiccan, a Unitarian, a Right Wing Fundamentalist, an Eco-Terrorist, a Maoist with High Cholesterol, a Labor Unionist, a Trotskyist Fellow Traveler, a Vegan Radical, a McCarthyist Book Burner and the local cable company employee who does not care about your service problems. Also, he hates young children, puppies and Paula Abdul.

Lookie here, as anyone who's read the ESPN ombudsman's latest piece knows, reporting is in and opinion is out. Sports fans don't want entertainment, you see. What they want is pure wins and losses. Sports fans believe the Buffalo Bills should be summarily executed for failing to win on Monday Night, entertainment be damned. Sports fans believe that Terrell Owens's locker room prank was not worth mentioning, seeing as how it came outside the lines of battle. Sports fans--like those 3 million sports fans who have visited Gilbert's blog in the past year--do not care what shoes athletes wear, or what their fancy pants parties are like, or whether they put their GF's on strike.

Anyhow, I'm not calling for any wide receivers to receive signing bonuses or playing time or adulation, but I sure like the ones who provide bonus entertainment. I'll just quote from Gilbert's blog (taking quotes out of order, since I'm not a real journalist), and then leave this be:

It's kind of funny, even if a basketball player tries to rap, it's hilarious how much everybody responds to it, "Ohhh mannnn! Why don't you guys just stick to what you do!"....

The reason everybody loves T.O. is the same reason everybody hates T.O. It's the celebration, having fun, pulls out the pen and signing autographs. They love it, and then they hate it, for the same reason.

I love T.O. for that. For having fun. For enjoying football. Same thing with Chad Johnson. That's where I got the idea of putting "Agent" on my All-Star jersey and try to play in the game with it, because he put "Ocho Cinco" on his jersey.

You know, that's funny! That's hilarious to me. It's all entertainment.

When we step inside that court and people come into those arenas and sit down, it's not about what they did that day, it's not about their rent, their jobs, how bad their day is going. It's about, "I'm going to forget about it for two hours."

Now, for a lot of people--most people, even--that means they want to forget about those troubles and go see their team carry a funny-shaped pile of pigskin past 11 grown men in strange costumes and then settle comfortably into a grassy patch behind a white line as their teammates slap their bottoms. For certain others, that means they want to forget about those troubles and instead listen to a mohawked rapping athlete with a bad attitude discuss his ridiculous car. If the mohawked rapping athlete with the bad attitude proves unable to help his athletic team advance that pigskin past that white line, he will no longer be paid to put on that strange costume, and we'll all move on with our lives. Until then, I will keep talking to those athletes.

(Also, I'll keep cashing my blog checks. Thanks Washington Post!)

By Dan Steinberg  |  October 11, 2007; 1:26 PM ET
Categories:  Redskins  
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Next: Is Gilbert Cheating at Halo?


Boy, that escalated quickly... I mean, that really got out of hand fast.

Posted by: onside kick | October 11, 2007 1:59 PM | Report abuse

So you think you could take Jason?

Posted by: BlogFight | October 11, 2007 1:59 PM | Report abuse

Touche', Steinz.

And rather quickly I might add.

Posted by: | October 11, 2007 2:06 PM | Report abuse

Mommy, Daddy stop fighting!

Posted by: DBKAlum | October 11, 2007 2:07 PM | Report abuse

Your comment thread is boring

Posted by: Reality | October 11, 2007 2:15 PM | Report abuse

Who doesn't hate Paula Abdul? A Non-Talent judging talent?

You can try to take the offensive if you want about B Lloyds general douchebaggery if you'd like, but I tend to buy the argument from the guy who sees and virtually interacts with the team all day.

As to the rest of this diatribe, what the hell does it have to do with you being a Lloyd apologist?

Posted by: Keino | October 11, 2007 2:19 PM | Report abuse

Just because I come here to read about Gil's new shoes doesn't mean I want to hear about it on ESPN. Different sources should have different standards for what makes the cut, yes?

Posted by: Cy | October 11, 2007 2:19 PM | Report abuse

So... obviously guns are out, but have we decided whether knives are allowed in this blog fight?

I say brass knuckles and truncheons only.

Posted by: Bucktown Skins Fan | October 11, 2007 2:28 PM | Report abuse

Hey Brosephus, keep it chill, champ. I'm not dawgin your skilz, just tryin to put it on a real tip. If you don't feel that, try to keep it on the DL. I don't like beefin in front of my peeps, the blogpostles.

P.S. Don't ask me what beer I'm swillin' - it's expensive and too hard for most people to pronounce. Check out the tunes on my ipod. Actually don't, you wouldn't get it. Like my glasses? Look cheap right? That's why they're so expensive. Crazy.

Posted by: Jason La Canfora | October 11, 2007 2:36 PM | Report abuse

Howard Bryant wouldn't have called out Steinz. Just saying.

Posted by: DBKAlum | October 11, 2007 2:41 PM | Report abuse

Well, Stein is the biggest joke I've ever read. Find something useful to do, will you?

Posted by: Anonymous | October 11, 2007 2:44 PM | Report abuse

That's because Howard Bryant is classy and...oh, right. Agreed.

Posted by: Quikfiend | October 11, 2007 2:46 PM | Report abuse

That comment from "Jason La Canfora" 20 minutes ago seems like it's straight out of SNL's "Douchebag World Championships" sketch from this past weekend. Just thought I'd point that out.

Posted by: Jamie Mottram | October 11, 2007 2:57 PM | Report abuse

Steinz, I'm hoping JLC agreed to stage this for your benefit...because he comes off sounding pretty uptight and absurd. I think your point re: the entertaining side of sports was clear with Lloyd from the get go...good response here, too.

Posted by: DD | October 11, 2007 3:06 PM | Report abuse

fake opinion generated purely to create fake controversy to drive ratings/exposures/circulation should be out, not legitimate opinion. for someone who seems generally to get the distinction, you missed the ball on this one, steinz.

Posted by: rob | October 11, 2007 3:13 PM | Report abuse

mmmm, no - "brosephus" was used in that sketch. That's one word.

It would be pretty crazy if SNL did a sketch about JLC, don't you think? But just for clarification - the sketch contained no references to JLC's beer, ipod, or glasses.

Posted by: Re: Jamie Mottram | October 11, 2007 3:15 PM | Report abuse

In the blog fight universe, would this confrontation be considered a barn-burner?

Posted by: WaPoLiveFan16 | October 11, 2007 3:19 PM | Report abuse

Keep it up Steinberg. I, for one, find you to be hilarious!

Posted by: Anonymous RI Blogger | October 11, 2007 3:21 PM | Report abuse

Ya' know how some people write to movie stars? This guy writes to movies!

"Dear Die Hard, You rock!

P.S. - Do you know Mad Max?"

Posted by: Fan | October 11, 2007 3:23 PM | Report abuse

Aw crap, I see your point now. My mistake.

Posted by: Re: Jamie Mottram Again | October 11, 2007 3:26 PM | Report abuse

I'd like to amend my previous comment regarding Steinz' response:


Posted by: | October 11, 2007 3:30 PM | Report abuse

Good one, Onside kick.

Posted by: Joe | October 11, 2007 3:55 PM | Report abuse

Dan Steinberg stabbed a guy with a trident! You should get out of town and find a safehouse because you're probably wanted for murder.

Posted by: DBKAlum | October 11, 2007 4:08 PM | Report abuse

Steinz, take DOWN La Canfora. Sportswriting isn't rocket science and JLC is acting like it is. Take him down, my man.

Posted by: R.J. | October 11, 2007 4:10 PM | Report abuse

Come on Steinz you got him on the ropes. FINISH HIM. FINISH HIM!!

Posted by: LaCanfora Blows... Hard | October 11, 2007 4:13 PM | Report abuse

I hope this is fake... I never thought we'd succumb to silly passive aggressive blog fight here on the post.

Is this like writer's versions of bulletin board material?

Posted by: gidge | October 11, 2007 4:57 PM | Report abuse

You know why people warm to the oddballery of athletes like Arenas and T.O. and Cooley and Riggins and Ocho Cinco? Because they're as entertaining and awesome ON the field/court as they are OFF it. How can you care about some player's fancy car and funny, down-to-earth personality if the guy catches zero touchdown passes ever? Lloyd sucks. That's facts. I hope he's good at something, but an entertaining ball player he ain't. Until his game catches up with his charisma, he's just your funny, rich friend. He's obviously not Mephistopheles incarnate or anything, but don't expect fans to rush to his defense while he dogs it, deflecting blame, game after game after game. So what if he raps?

Posted by: shekb | October 11, 2007 5:25 PM | Report abuse

I think you could take JLC. Those Baltimore boys are all talk. However, this was kind of a weak comeback. Come strong, or don't come at all.

Posted by: Ted | October 11, 2007 5:36 PM | Report abuse

Right - so this little bit of controversy within the WaPo ranks is NOT for entertainment purposes only?

Posted by: Patty | October 11, 2007 6:13 PM | Report abuse

Is this real? At first I thought douchebag Jasno was joking, but Steinz came back hard here. Now I'm wondering if douchebag Jasno was the reporter involved in the locker room altercation so he started this fight just to get back at Steinz for hinting at it on his blog? Or do I just have too much time on my hands to speculate on these things.

If it matters I'm a huge Redskins fan and think that Lloyd has underperformed (to put it mildly). But that doesn't mean I want him to get hurt, die, or hate him. Norv was a bad coach but I still don't hate him. And I think in some ways that's all Steinz is saying. Sports is supposed to be fun, sure it's disappointing when people don't play well, but it's not the end of the world. And people like Jasno and some of his readers could probably go for relaxing a litte.

Posted by: Jon | October 11, 2007 9:16 PM | Report abuse

how about them cowboys

Posted by: Anonymous | October 12, 2007 2:25 AM | Report abuse

Before I go into my rant let me just say that that Jason La fake post above is really f'in funny.

You're still missing the point Stein. It's not about whether or not Blloyd is a good guy, I don't really care. It's about him getting paid Millions of dollars and not doing Shizt. It let's his team and the fans down.

He took the money! You get that? I don't dislike BLloyd I don't really care about him either way. I just think he's basically stealing money.

If he wants to give all the money back and walk away and crack jokes and be a smart and affable guy go for it. But if he's going to continue to cash the checks and be a total joke of a football player then he deserves all the critism he gets.

Posted by: Skinz | October 12, 2007 9:06 AM | Report abuse


Stein, as an RI enthususiast, I dig this controversay even if it is contrived (which of course it is) but my man, you picked the wrong dude to take a stand on: ie Brandon Lloyd.

Although I prefer RI b/c the comment interaction is fun, I dig your blog...b/c well its actually a blog (many posts/links/photos/video...) while RI is stale as the bagels at the Bakery thrift shop.

And in a philosophical new v old media grudge match I got your back. AND Janso can be a major pompus tool 2/3 of the time...

Butt Brandon Lloyd?!?!?!?! Not the battleground to take a stand on bro......Janso schooled you hard on the merits of this particular case!

Posted by: chRIS Larry | October 12, 2007 9:46 AM | Report abuse

So, is there an office pool on this?

Posted by: Red Sox Monster | October 13, 2007 12:54 PM | Report abuse

i still don't know what happened with brandon f-ing lloyd or if you did stick up for him but yeah i'm with Chris Larry on this. i love your blog but dude you picked the wrong dude. brandon lloyd is the worst player on that team. it takes a lot to pi$$ riggo and even he was pi$$ed totally pi$$ed at 85.

and all those things you said about him hating babies, and him being satan...who gives a fck!!!!!!!! he should do what he's getting paid to do. no one fcking likes a deadbeat! and he's a deadbeat. F him! you're better than that. you should start defending the skins FO(front office) before jasno(la canfora) really gets on that bandwagon. :)

good blog but i only have time to check out one blog (skins!)

Posted by: dealer | October 13, 2007 7:39 PM | Report abuse

I am still puzzled about the German poster of an American movie that came with this post. I read that the film is based on a book which became a fifties classic: Sloan Wilson's "searing indictment of a society that had just begun to lose touch with its citizens" ("Saturday Review"). It is about "a public-relations specialist who lives in the suburbs, works for a media company in midtown, and worries about money, job security, and educating his children....many of the themes the novel addresses seem strikingly contemporary." (Malcolm Gladwell in "The New Yorker"). But what is the connection with "proper blogging subjects"?

Posted by: Jürgen Kalwa | October 15, 2007 12:10 AM | Report abuse

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