Giant Presidents and Gil's Constipation
Much of this was written while in a car with Mike Wise, on our way to FedEx Field last night for the beginning of Washington's glorious march to the
Super Bowl ... playoffs ... regular-season finale. After the game I was scrambling to write a hastily constructed story about nothing, and so I have nothing more to add about that other than Fred Smoot's post-vomit declaration: "I feel terrible."
Although I can say that easily the best thing that happened last night was the live blogging of the game on Todd Collins's blog. This should be a fun week.
So for now, let me present a whole mess of links that any good D.C. sports fan should at least click through, links that are a combination of old and older but which still demand my attention. Starting with, of course,
* Gilbert's latest blog entry. It's a rambling, goofy and serious hodgepodge, ranging from sneakers to Sean Taylor, but the most remarkable part--as FanHouse noted--was the piece on pain killers. Gilbert, you see, doesn't take 'em. Why?
1. I'm against pills in general. I think it's a coward's way to deal with pain. You take some pills, then the pills get you sleepy.
2. The main reason is though that it blocked my stomach up last time and I couldn't use the restroom. I couldn't use the restroom for like five days, and I didn't want to go through that pain again.
Which, I guess, is why Gilbert's always loved the regular season. Get it? Regular? Yeah. Also, an essay on why Gilbert's injury might actually be a good thing for his career.
* Congrats are due to the Giant Racing Presidents, who just won the award for Best Contest or On-Field Promotion, from GameOps.com. And in a related story, Jim Bowden is pushing for new races honoring the U.S. Grant, Harding and Nixon administrations. Yup, that's the first time anyone has ever used the Elijah Dukes signing as a way to reference Teapot Dome.
* In case you haven't read enough Etan Thomas
screeds essays, here's one of his latest, about Mike Huckabee, the death penalty and Jesus, on the Huffington Post. And here's another one, in which he discusses the Sean Taylor coverage, and our friend Colin Cowherd, meaning we're on the same team here. And Etan's co-writer Dave Zirin already had his own take on this same issue, in which he discussed the "reptilian journalists rehashing their own racist rhetoric." (Hint: he doesn't like them.)
* In case you haven't seen enough Sean Taylor tributes, here's another one, from Colt Brennan, who apparently loved No. 21. * Also . . . . . . A Taylor tribute . . . . . and another Taylor tribute . . . . .
* In case you haven't read enough BB&T coverage, this is likely the best tale that emerged from that tournament. It's a sad tale, in which a contestant in an on-court bungee court promotion became short of breath, was taken to the medical area, hooked up to a heart monitor, given an oxygen mask, and diagnosed with either a cracked rib or an abdominal strain. Get well soon, Mason Super Fan.
* Did you know that every Division I football program in the country has expressed interest in hiring Paul Johnson?
* Did you know that Joe Gibbs has been inducted into the "History's Worst Time Outs Club?" Well, it's true. Which is why you can go look at this excellent photo of Gibbs's head pasted on top the timeout-calling body of Chris Webber. Another timeout take over here. And here's something linking Joe Gibbs and Heathers.
* By the way, Vegas made "We knew this was going to be hard-fought" a 4-3 favorite over "I'm so proud of our guys" as Gibbs's opening statement last night, but the latter won out in a small upset. I didn't see him use "hard fought" once, as a matter of fact.
* This was written before last night's glorious win, but D.C. fans apparently have a grimmer future than those of every other major city but for Miami. The Legend of Cecilio Guante said so.
* Oh, and Kwame Brown's New Year's Eve Party? Trust me, you don't want to miss it. He promises he will "bring the heat back" to New Year's Eve, provided he doesn't get a belly ache.
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