Pecherov's Brozer From Anozer Mozer
I received a superb e-mail yesterday about my previous Wizards style notes, which read, in part, "I was looking for something of socially redeeming value that might explain the Post's publishing a half-page of stuff about Gil's evaluation of DeShawn's bathrobe," and also, "If this is part of an attempt to bring back subscribers, I suggest that you try another approach."
Well, I couldn't agree more. People who are dropping their subscription ain't coming back for reports on the dress-shoe-swapping that takes place in NBA locker rooms. And so, today, I will not be evaluating funny things the Washington Wizards wore yesterday or the day before or on any other day. This entry will be different. I'll be focusing on funny things they've said.
* Caron Butler tried to leave the practice court yesterday. Oleksiy Pecherov insisted that he return to engage in a shooting contest, first one to 75 makes from 10 spots. Caron sighed.
"Let's go," Pech said while Eddie Jordan laughed. "He's gonna be busy for next hour, coach. I teach him."
"I've got to beat his ass again," Butler said, resigned.
Which he did, quite badly, although Pech does have range, and was distraught each time he lost at a station.
"That's why he's going to be good; he's a hell of a competitor," Butler said. And does Pech ever win?
"C'mon man," Butler said.
(Although it's worth pointing out that immediately after his ass was beat, Pecherov challenged Gilbert Arenas to a similar shoot-out, and while the doors were closed to the media, multiple sources indicated that Pecherov won, and no, I'm not joking.
"I let him win, just trying to keep his confidence high," Gilbert said afterward. Pecherov's prize was apparently a dinner at Fogo de ChÃ£o, although Gil was trying to move the dinner elsewhere.)
* Gilbert on Pecherov, to NBA.com: "He's just so happy to be an American. He's so funny. The only thing we're trying to break him out of is the cuss words. This is the second foreigner I've been with as a teammate, and for some reason, it's like they pick up the cuss words easier. Every other word out of his mouth is something that he isn't supposed to say."
* Pecherov to Antawn Jamison as Jamison was attempting to be interviewed: "My brozer! From anozer mozer!"
* Inspired by Stevenson's "Locksmith" defensive moniker, Andray Blatche spent one day of practice calling himself "Ziploc," because of the way he seals off, or some such.
* Since Darius Songaila gave Nick Young the nickname "Black Hole," I wondered whether Young had similarly bestowed a nickname on Songaila. He said he had not. But Gilbert said Songaila's nickname is "Gypsy Number 9." I believe this has something to do with Borat and Gypsy Bingo, but I certainly wouldn't bet a Fogo de ChÃ£o dinner on that.
(As if the NBA doesn't have enough nicknames; add "Gypsy Number 9" to the list.)
* DeShawn Stevenson's ex-alias during road trips was "Poppa Smurf." Don't Google that, I beg of you. His new alias is far more hysterical, and is actually printed on the back of one of his customized bathrobes, but he pointed out that if I printed his secret alias in the newspaper, it would no longer be a secret. Of course, I've been told that a local television station has already shown that robe on air, ruining the secret, but if I talk too much about robes here I might get another one of those unhappy e-mails.
* Antonio Daniels has about 9,000 songs on his iPod. Just for the record. "Rap, R&B, electronic...Delirium, Enigma....I have so many different styles depending on the mood, the time of the day," he said yesterday. "I love music. Like, right now I'm leaving to go to Best Buy because it's Tuesday." Because, of course, all the new music and movies come out on Tuesdays.
* Gilbert on coming off the bench: "The starting unit is playing so well together; you don't want to mess that up."
* Antawn Jamison, on Gilbert coming off the bench: "He gets y'all every time. That's Gilbert. He says things he knows will get y'all talking. He knows he's gonna start."
* Farewell to Wash Times beat writer John Mitchell, a true gent. Welcome to Wash Times beat writer Mike Jones. Who?
* Gilbert, on the return of Etan Thomas to the locker room: "You know what's so funny?...He came in and he was doing sit-ups. I was like, 'I haven't done sit-ups for like two months. Now that you came in here I'm back in the sit-up thing. Because if you can do it, I can do it.' "
How many sit-ups did Thomas's return elicit from Gilbert? "I don't know, I didn't count," he said. "About an hour's worth." Non-stop? "Non-stop," he said, which I'd tend to doubt, but we have seen Gilbert perform amazing feats during crunch time.
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