Elijah Dukes Tees Off
Around 7 p.m. on Friday night, Washingtonpost.com master videographer Jon Forsythe, in Viera for Spring Training, went to a local driving range to blow off some steam, or whatever one does at a driving range. And who should he spot in a nearby stall, taking some of the more massive hacks that driving range had likely ever seen? Elijah Dukes, of course. In a move that earned a double extra A+ from the D.C. Sports Bog, Forsythe introduced himself, turned on the video camera and talked some golf with Mr. Dukes.
Forsythe notes that Dukes had a bag full of brand-new Taylor Made r7 irons, which he rarely uses, because he said he only likes his driver. He only began swinging the sticks last November, and said he was at the range on a Friday night because he was bored.
* When Dukes addresses the camera and speaks to "America."
* When Dukes says "I think lessons are in my future."
* When Dukes produces enough sweat to impress Ralph Friedgen running wind sprints in a sauna, and explains the output thus: "You know that saying, 'When you're focused you're gonna probably start breaking a little sweat,' " a saying I had actually not known.
* When Dukes signs off with "Thank you and goodbye for the Golf Digest Edition Part I."
* Not seen in this film, but when Jon first introduced himself and asked Elijah if this would be ok.
"Yeah, I don't see why not," Dukes joked. "It's not like I'm doing anything illegal."
* What happens at 1:45, which will almost certainly be the highlight of Spring Training no matter what happens over the next two weeks. Like, I'm not sure if Dmitri Young arm wrestling Paul Lo Duca blindfolded for a can of baked beans would match this.
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