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Crucify Holy Cross: AU's Cheer Sheet

Garrison Carr. (By Preston Keres - TWP)

Two American University posts in a row, but c'mon, when was the last time American hosted a Patriot League quarterfinal? (Answer: Last February 28).

A loyal reader passed along the Blue Crew's Facebook event info for tonight's game. If you're the sort who can gain massive taunting inspiration from the first names of the mothers of Patriot League basketball players, you're really gonna want to make it to Bender Arena tonight. Incidentally, the athletic department is feeling sprightly about the Eagles' chances, writing a release that says "The Eagles will begin their journey to the NCAA Tournament on Wednesday, March 5, against the Crusaders at 7:30 p.m."

The introductory info:

Event Name: RE-PHIL BENDER!!!!!
Tagline: Don't Stop Believing.... (The Eagles' unofficial theme song)



2 Lucky Fans Have the Chance at Halftime to WIN A BRAND NEW CAR!!!

Come watch mercer and carr run the court on the purple parasite's of holy cross.

("Things you NEED to know" after the jump)

Tim Clifford # 00
(the ugliest human in the galaxy)
He's a Sr. its only right that he finishes last in his last game EVER!
Son of Alice
Has two twin sisters (Jaclyn and Kerrie) double team?
Kerrie is the captain of the UMASS swim team (swim suits?)

Andrew Beinert #22
Son of Mary Jo
played AAU ball for the Long Island Lightning. (wtf?)

Andrew Keister#34 (i wish i made up that last name)
Son of Elizabeth Keister
Has one sister (Dana)

Kyle Cruze #2
Son of BUDDY and Helen Cruze ...
Has one brother (Winston) ???????
and one sister (Charlotte)

Ramon Colon #24
Son of Ramon Colon and Marianela Ceballos
(parents with two different last names.. could that make him a ______ ?)
one sister (Christina)

Pat Doherty #20
He is 5-11 dont give him that extra inch.

Then comes the roster, with this command: "(once again scream horrible things)"

Ok, so it's not quite Kevin Love material, but geez, did something get in the water in Tenleytown? Let's just hope Tim Clifford's mother Alice isn't there tonight.

By Dan Steinberg  |  March 5, 2008; 10:09 AM ET
Categories:  College Basketball  
Save & Share:  Send E-mail   Facebook   Twitter   Digg   Yahoo Buzz   StumbleUpon   Technorati   Google Buzz   Previous: March Madness in Tenleytown
Next: Conference Tourneys Day I: Bye VMI


Advice from soneone who has seen Clifford: that picture is outdated he now has a buzzed head and looks almost uglier. He's some type of ogre or inbred. Still he is a very good down low player. He got in foul trouble vs MD but still played well.

Posted by: JDP | March 5, 2008 10:21 AM | Report abuse

I like how they put the players' moms on the list. Real classy.

Posted by: Johnny | March 5, 2008 10:30 AM | Report abuse

I have no respect for the people who actually talk about a guy's mother at a basketball game(UVA).

Posted by: sitruc | March 5, 2008 11:02 AM | Report abuse

AU Eagles basketball -- is it really worth the blasphemy?

Posted by: Kev | March 5, 2008 11:29 AM | Report abuse

absolutely worth the blasphemy. your comment is blasphemous.

Posted by: mark | March 5, 2008 1:13 PM | Report abuse

ETA for Holy Cross fans to arrive to complain about this is about 10 minutes.

Posted by: matt b | March 5, 2008 1:15 PM | Report abuse

All it takes is one idiot to make our school look it really worth it to fire up the Holy Cross team which has beaten our asses in as far back as we can remember? forget about looking forward to the championship against a #2-seeded Navy team who has beaten us twice this season. It wouldn't shock me if we don't get passed the first round.

Tonight is not going to be easy...GO AU!!

Posted by: Charlie | March 5, 2008 4:43 PM | Report abuse

Fun fact: Pat Doherty's dad is the mayor of Scranton, PA

Posted by: Scrantonia | March 5, 2008 7:06 PM | Report abuse

Fun fact: Pat Doherty's dad is the mayor of Scranton, PA

Posted by: Scrantonia | March 5, 2008 7:06 PM | Report abuse

the blasphemy is totally worth it. au is not just a grades school any more!

PS We'd rather have some personality than NO personality, as this blogger charged us with last week.

GO EAGLES!!!!!!!!!

Posted by: KS | March 5, 2008 9:38 PM | Report abuse

AU's in! Navy's out!

Posted by: chris | March 5, 2008 9:44 PM | Report abuse

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