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DeShawn Is: Accessory Man


Accessory Man, as Jerry Stackhouse.


The 2007-2008 DeShawn Stevenson style encyclopedia already has several odd chapters, from the '80s-themed costume party to the ZZ Top beard-growing contest to the customized bathrobe to the jersey-on-his-back tattoo.

One notable absence, though, was the creation of an alter-ego named Accessory Man who would appear at Wizards practices in costume. Well, until last week anyhow.

"You know, sometimes practice can get dry," Brendan Haywood told me last week. "Seventy-seven, 80 games in, sometimes it gets dry. He tries to come in spice it up, be somebody different every day, come in talking a little junk. He was Mutumbo one day, he was Rasheed Wallace one day. No telling who he'll be the next day."


Wait, DeShawn Stevenson attended Wizards practice dressed like Rasheed Wallace? In what way, exactly?

"Had a headband on, cussing, acting wild," Stevenson explained. "I played the whole time like that in practice."

And Mutombo? Pardon the thought, but DeShawn Stevenson doesn't exactly play a similar game to Dikembe Mutombo.

"He doesn't play a similar game to Rasheed Wallace either," Antonio Daniels pointed out, when discussing Mutombo Day. "He just dresses like him, with the double arm bands, double leg bands. He says he's the Accessory Man now."

"He was just playing real hard, he was running around with the pads and everything on," Caron Butler said.

And yeah, he also wagged his finger like Mutombo. But not exactly like Mutombo.

"He does his finger wave right after he scores on offense," Haywood said, "because he doesn't block that many shots."

This is the point where normally I'd attempt to explain the actual facts of the matter, but jeez, I couldn't begin to guess what they are. Last week Stevenson apparently asked equipment manager Rob Suller for a bunch of Wizards practice jerseys bearing the numbers of non-Wizards players. He wore 55 on Monday, with all those pads, and followed it up with a 30, a headband and a temper on Tuesday. At this morning's shootaround, he busted out the 42, along with the Jerry Stackhouse-style elbow pads. Stevenson insisted that his gimmick wasn't merely about the accessories; that he actually tries to get "in character" and fill the role accurately.

"He couldn't play in no movie I was producing, but he's decent," Haywood allowed.

"He does a good Rasheed Wallace," Daniels said.

"He's a different dude, man," Butler said of Stevenson, which is possibly the only sentence here that makes any sense at all.

As for future costumes, Butler was lobbying for a Ben Wallace Day, with Stevenson in afro wig and headband. Stevenson said he was considering a Kobe Bryant Day, in which he'd "cuss everybody out, tell 'em to pass me the ball so I can go one on one."

Um, ok. But why?

"I'm just goofy, man," Stevenson said. "Sometimes you need a laugh. Can't be serious all the time. We have enough serious people: we've got Caron, we've got 'Twan. So me and Gilbert, we take care of the fun."

(And you're wondering if Stevenson has a customized "Accessory Man" robe yet? "No," he said. "That'd be kind of hot, though."

By Dan Steinberg  |  April 14, 2008; 2:51 PM ET
Categories:  Wizards  
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Comments

Congrats guys, enjoy the fun, you earned it through all the setbacks this season!!!

Posted by: Burg w/ a U | April 14, 2008 3:16 PM | Report abuse

He's just working up to Allan Iverson Day, where he doesn't show up...

Or maybe Rod Strickland Day, when he eats a bunch of hot dogs right before practice, with predictable results...

Posted by: Rob Iola | April 14, 2008 3:20 PM | Report abuse

Between the Wiz and their antics and I hear the Caps locker room is full of characters too, I get my daily dose of humor. Gotta love though. I do! They make me laught. What is up with Chuck and Larry Steinberg? I hear they are roommates no more :-(

Posted by: Anonymous | April 14, 2008 3:26 PM | Report abuse

DeShawn was an only child, wasn't he?

Posted by: u <3 8====D | April 14, 2008 4:13 PM | Report abuse

So when is Phil Chenier day?

Posted by: StetSports.com | April 14, 2008 4:20 PM | Report abuse

DeShawn, I still wish you'd gone to Kansas after all! KU might have had their next championship a few years ago.
P.S. I can't feel my face.

Posted by: Arlington Pimp | April 14, 2008 4:21 PM | Report abuse


Or Tracy Murray Day where he comes in with a black eye and the imprint of a five finger ring saying DNALKCIRTS (except backwards letters) across his face.

Did you really have to ask the Lock Smith "why"?

Posted by: TruthAboutIt.net | April 14, 2008 4:37 PM | Report abuse

I'm claiming racism on Robin Flicker day.

Posted by: evan | April 14, 2008 4:58 PM | Report abuse

Really? Nobody is going to decry this as a distraction?

Thank god.

Posted by: Unsilent Majority | April 15, 2008 9:10 AM | Report abuse

??!!??

Why would it be a distraction? People need to learn to lighten up. STRESS KILLS!

Posted by: Anonymous | April 15, 2008 10:12 AM | Report abuse

LOL, I agree with Unsilent Majority's post.

This seems like good leadership by DeShawn, to make sure people have fun while they work. Good for him.

The whole thing makes sense to me!

Posted by: Nancy | April 15, 2008 11:11 AM | Report abuse

How about a "Lebron" day..... HAHAHAHA.

Posted by: Ajay | April 15, 2008 2:01 PM | Report abuse

Hey, how about showin' me some love Deshawn??

Posted by: Ron Artest | April 15, 2008 5:28 PM | Report abuse

Lebron day? Like you playing on the court BITING NAILS? Err gross.

Posted by: Nookiez | April 16, 2008 12:19 AM | Report abuse

On LeBron day, he can hit buzzer-beaters all practice long against the Wizards.

Or he could dunk on himself.

Way to motivate the best player in the league, buddy.

Posted by: David | April 16, 2008 2:27 AM | Report abuse

nothings more awesome than a rodman day!

Posted by: bruceO | April 19, 2008 3:46 AM | Report abuse

The comments to this entry are closed.

 
 
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