Radio Fatties Take on the Mystics
Have you been following the Elliot in the Morning vs. Mystics feud? Inspired by an interview with Todd "Andy Roddick Beat Me With a Frying Pan" Gallagher, Elliot in the Morning and DC101 friends challenged the Mystics to a basketball game, and one was scheduled for this morning at Comcast Center.
Alana Beard couldn't play, since she's in Poland, but she managed to rip the radio guys in advance, blogging that "This all came about because some fat, out of shape, always the last to get picked as a child, wanna-be basketball players claimed one morning on their talk show that they could beat any women's professional basketball team in a game!!!"
I had to bail in favor of Wiz shootaround, but you can see game photos here. Mike Wise turned out to be the game's color analyst; his recap appears below.
The Mystics showed up to Comcast Center as if they had just come off a 10-day road trip -- to Guam. They couldn't believe their coach, Tree Rollins, and the organization would actually encourage them to play inferior physical specimens--mostly short males--from a morning radio show. If they could have said something collectively, it would sound like this:
This is what we have to do to sell and market the franchise? What's Sheila Johnson going to make us do next, post-up Bobby Riggs? Aren't we past this?
It's up for debate whether the event set women's sports back or forward 10 years.
On one hand, an ultra-popular morning show is hyping the WNBA. And, well, men are now playing against women to validate their athleticism.
On the other hand, if you played for a respectable American college women's program and were drafted by a professional team -- and there was even a thought in anyone's head you couldn't school a radio host, male or female -- well, how much progress have we made since Jesse Owens raced a horse for cash?
After Brett Haber e-mailed me and asked me to announce the game with him (after Fox 5's Dave Feldman and every other media person in town turned him down because a pre-game show has never started at 7:30 a.m. in the history of alleged sports ), I showed up about 7:20 a.m.
A smattering of people -- maybe a couple hundred or so -- actually got up and took seats in the upper portion of the arena because Maryland didn't feel it was worth it to pull out the lower stands. It was like a Final Four, where fans are 30 and 40 yards from the court. Why this happened is unclear; maybe they wanted to ensure no one got too close to the "celebrities."
At one point I said, "Welcome to the House that Gary Williams Built -- and Brenda Frese keeps up."
We eviscerated everyone at DC101. "The Elliot in the Morning Show is now down by 40," Haber said.
And I added: "You get the feeling Ruth Buzzi and Maude could suit up for the Mystics and Elliot's crew would still be in trouble? They have a player whose middle name is Hardwick. Hardwick!"
The final was Mystics 83, DC101 23. Believe it or not, Tree Rollins set a 100-point victory as the goal and not reaching it met many of the Mystics had to run lines at the next practice. There was one pulled hamstring to report by a Mystics player but nothing career-ending -- except perhaps the broadcasting careers of Haber and I.
Nothing was off limits, including co-host Diane Stupar Hughes' measurements, which the married mom of a three-year-old girl had fun with on air. Elliot actually hit a prayer of a shot, on a sweet feed from Patrick "D-3" Lee, who might be the only player to ever boast he played Division III. At York, no less. Hey, the kid meant well.
Alana Beard was in Poland playing professionally, but we kept alluding to the fact that she was listening via broadband streaming radio in Warsaw. We have no way to verify this and I believe we made it up. Many of the big-time Mystics were not there, so it was kind of like the Globetrotters sending Twiggy Sanders instead of Meadowlark Lemon.
Nikki Blue, Meg Bulger (sister of NFL QB Marc), Kalika France and Amber Jacobs all got a decent run, and Rita Williams and Elliot were going at it for a while, until Elliot grabbed the guard and wrapped her up out of frustration, which got him a foul and a restraining order. I voted Sarah-Jo Lawrence of GW the MVP because, well, I don't know. She hit a couple nice jumpers and, I figured, it's GW, why not?
Ralph Friedgen pumped his Maryland football spring game for Saturday at Byrd Stadium and joined the broadcast.
Forty-two ago, as a Maryland student athlete, Friedgen gave stat sheets to Adolph Rupp and Don Haskins on the Cole Field House sideline, where Texas-Western and Kentucky played the 1966 NCAA title game, the first time five African-American players stepped on a court and won the national championship.
Having been witness to history, he had to watch the DC101 Morning Crew set the game back easily 100 years. Poor Fridge.
Seriously, the Elliot in the Morning people were a riot and the Mystics were incredibly good sports. I seem to remember Tree Rollins once biting Danny Ainge at the bottom of a Celtics-Hawks scuffle during the playoffs in the 1980s. As the Elliot in The Morning players gleefully chipped paint off the Comcast Center's rims, it occurred to me how the game doesn't discriminate.
Whether you played in the NBA, the WNBA or never in your life, which was presumably most of the DC101 crew, it brings us all to our knees at some point. Luckily, for most of us we can get up tomorrow and go back to our day jobs.
Posted by: JDP | April 24, 2008 4:57 PM | Report abuse
Posted by: Doug | April 24, 2008 5:30 PM | Report abuse
Posted by: Mason Pattrick | April 24, 2008 5:46 PM | Report abuse
Posted by: Mason Pattrick | April 24, 2008 5:47 PM | Report abuse
Posted by: northernsoulfan | April 24, 2008 8:35 PM | Report abuse
Posted by: Hyena Laugh | April 24, 2008 8:48 PM | Report abuse
Posted by: JDP | April 24, 2008 9:17 PM | Report abuse
Posted by: pilight | April 24, 2008 9:49 PM | Report abuse
Posted by: mrlogical | April 24, 2008 11:13 PM | Report abuse
Posted by: JDP | April 25, 2008 12:40 AM | Report abuse
Posted by: Max Wass | April 25, 2008 2:20 AM | Report abuse
Posted by: D III | April 25, 2008 7:58 AM | Report abuse
Posted by: Sam | April 25, 2008 9:30 AM | Report abuse
Posted by: Joe | April 25, 2008 9:32 AM | Report abuse
Posted by: Joe | April 25, 2008 9:32 AM | Report abuse
Posted by: Joe | April 25, 2008 9:33 AM | Report abuse
Posted by: Joe | April 25, 2008 9:34 AM | Report abuse
Posted by: Duffman | April 25, 2008 10:02 AM | Report abuse
Posted by: sitruc | April 25, 2008 10:15 AM | Report abuse
The comments to this entry are closed.