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Wizards Shaving Heads

This is why you couldn't pay me enough to have me switch my blogging focus from Washington to Cleveland. We all started out in the Cleveland locker room this morning, which had all the humor of Rust Belt decay. Then we gradually wandered our way to the fun side of the arena, and what did we see? Well, the above image, for one thing.

"A little something I brought out of the archives," Caron Butler said. "Took it back. I thought about DeShawn's party, and just said man I want to go with the '80s theme. Did it myself. It help my rhythm out. It ain't been there."

Really, you did it yourself? Big mirror, huh?

"You saying I've got a big head?" Caron replied.

But breaking news! He wasn't alone. Here came Nick Young, in tight jeans, some shirt of indeterminate origins and, what's this, a fade? Yes, Nick Young is wearing a fade tonight.

"This look ain't fully done yet," he said, noting that the designs have not yet been shaved in. Thank you, basketball gods. "Trying to uplift us a little bit," Nick continued. "We need some good spirit in here."

And what's this? Eddie Jordan wandering by, saying he should get his own blog. He was asked about shaving designs into his own noggin.

"Who carved something in their hair?" he said, moments after conducting a 45-minute workout with his troops." I know nothing. I know nothing. Sergeant Schultz is it? You guys aren't old enough for Sergeant Schultz."

Then he addressed his team's situation, saying the theme of the past two days has been discipline.

"Discipline first is self control," he said. "Discipline second is The Enforcer. If you can't control yourself, The Enforcer must control it, and that's me. The third is how do you enforce discipline? With punishment. And so in the world of the NBA it's not a ruler to the backside, it's a seat to the backside. So let's go out and let's control our emotions, let's control our execution, and if you can't do that I'm gonna sit you down and have someone else do it."

Whoa. The Enforcer, really?

"In a general, passive sense, yes," he said.

The Enforcer can be passive?

"Well, you know, it can," Jordan said. "It's sort of a Mahatma Gandhi, Martin Luther King kind of thing."

Can your team possibly be in trouble when it's ping-ponging from Sergeant Schultz to Kid 'n Play to Gandhi nine hours before tip?

By Dan Steinberg  |  April 24, 2008; 11:38 AM ET
Categories:  Wizards  
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Next: Continuing Wiz Playoff Themes


People can dog the wizards all they want, but they definitely have a sense of humor, go WIZARDS!

Posted by: GRizzlyexpress | April 24, 2008 11:55 AM | Report abuse

Good stuff.

Posted by: Jamie Mottram | April 24, 2008 11:56 AM | Report abuse

I just hope they can shave some points off that ridiculous 30 point loss. that's just embarrassing.

Posted by: Go Skins Go | April 24, 2008 11:57 AM | Report abuse


Posted by: littles | April 24, 2008 12:01 PM | Report abuse

pseudofolliculitis barbae

Posted by: qualude conduct | April 24, 2008 12:06 PM | Report abuse

What did I create?

Is there another new language being spoken?

"Wizards shaving heads", as in more than one. As it turns out only one head is mentioned on the article under this heading, AND it is not even shaved.

Where is the sense of humor? Oh! Never mind, I just wrote it.

Posted by: Jesus | April 24, 2008 12:19 PM | Report abuse

Should Game 4 officially be considered another addition to the "House Party" anthology?

Posted by: | April 24, 2008 1:20 PM | Report abuse

If anyone feels like they are in a good taunting mood...the Cavs are currently having breakfast (yes, there was a waffle station) downstairs in a small breakout room of the Four Seasons in Georgetown. I tried to think of a way to take out LeBron's knee, but couldn't come up with anything quick enough.

Posted by: teddy | April 24, 2008 2:04 PM | Report abuse

This would work well as a made-for-TV movie: The Enforcer, starring Eddie Jordan as John "Passive" Fist and Gilbert Arenas as Harold "Sweet Cheese" Ward. I'll start writing up the script pronto.

Posted by: laz | April 24, 2008 2:30 PM | Report abuse

So, the Cleveland locker room wasn't funny because they were focused on the game, but our locker room was funny.

Way to be relaxed when you're down 0-2. Come on Wizards, take this seriously and don't get blown out again

Posted by: turn it around Wiz | April 24, 2008 2:52 PM | Report abuse

But we don't play well when we're taking things seriously.

Posted by: B.A. | April 24, 2008 3:27 PM | Report abuse

Why does the Washington media continue to cheap shot the city of cleveland with their "rust belt decay" quips? Oh I know, because the team they cover is in the process of getting crushed for the third staight postseason,and they think that outdated 4th grade level comebacks are the way to go. Good one D.C., enjoy the last week of your pathetic season.

Posted by: At least we didn't re-elect Marion Berry | April 24, 2008 3:45 PM | Report abuse

"The fun side of the arena" huh. I'm sure it'll be a hoot when the Wiz are cleaning out their lockers for the third year in a row Monday thanks to the Cavaliers.

How about they forget the hair cuts, rappers, beards, intimidation, running their mouths and actually try and make this "rivalry" they like to call it competitive.

Get out the brooms, one step closer to the sweep after tonight.

Posted by: Trev | April 24, 2008 3:56 PM | Report abuse

you Cleveland idiots are jackasses. It's Marion Barry. Go back to your hellhole.

Posted by: Anonymous | April 24, 2008 7:00 PM | Report abuse

Trev, the Wizards did bring their brooms--to wipe Lebron and his traveling pack of whining babies off the floor tonight!

Nice showing Cleveland! The foul by Brown with 13 seconds left, down by 36, was an especially nice touch.

See you Sunday!

Posted by: teddy | April 24, 2008 10:37 PM | Report abuse

Teddy...where you at?

Sunday has come and gone and so have the Bulle...err Wizards.

Just another cakewalk in the first round.

Don't worry you've still got the Caps...oh wait they met the same fate in the first round, but you've still got the Nats..oh wait, they're awful. Training camp starts in less than four months. That Redskins 3rd place finish should be exciting.

Oh and if you, Gil, Soulja Boy and DeShawn want to stop by and watch LeBron in the second round. Feel free to. We'll leave some tickets at the box office.

Posted by: Trev | April 28, 2008 8:59 AM | Report abuse

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