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Rabach's Butt Begets Campbell's Hammy

(Don Wright via

From the very first day Jim Zorn was introduced as Redskins head coach, he has appeared singularly obsessed with Casey Rabach's posterior and, on the other side of the spoon, the squatting technique of Jason Campbell. One man needs to get higher, and one man needs to get lower, and both need to be explosive, is my general impression. At some point, the team's crack press corps will be forced to cheekily explore a huge and disturbing expanse of butt synonyms. Not today, though; I'm too busy searching for rump roast recipes in Fannie Farmer.

Anyhow, the same week he was introduced, Zorn expounded on his bum rush to Comcast SportsyNet: "I've already talked to Joe Bugel to see how we can tweak that center's rear end up a little bit," he said at the time. Then last week, those media bottom-feeders discovered behind (the scenes) maneuvering.

"We're going to come to a happy medium on that, make both parties happy and go from there," a laughing Rabach told the press. "If raising my butt an inch or two is going to help, whatever, I'll accommodate them. It'll take a little time. It'll feel awkward at first, but we'll get it done."

Even as Rabach was shaking his tailfeather upward, Jason Campbell continued to get low, against his deepest-seated tendencies, which led to this Zorn quote upon getting word of Campbell's hamstring problem yesterday, certainly the happiest-sounding coach-discussing-his-injured-QB quote I've ever seen.

"He felt it grab," Zorn said, in another bit of butt-appropriate verbiage. "He was feeling his hamstrings all along, and I think it's because I have him sinking down a little bit. It's a change, and so I was kind of excited about it, not that he pulled his hamstring or tweaked his hamstring, but just the fact that different things are happening to his body. And for me, it's good."

"Different things are happening to his body," sounds like something a gym teacher might say to the parents of a 13-year-old boy, but regardless, it's good to know this is nothing serious, and that the injury heralds exciting times ahead, to break with the theme. Anyhow, if the hamstring winds up ruining Campbell's career, the Skins could always try to trade for John David Booty.

By Dan Steinberg  |  May 8, 2008; 11:29 AM ET
Categories:  Redskins  
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