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Life Without (Bobby) Boswell

Color him orange nowadays. (By Kevin Fujii - AP)

Despite his months of absence from this city, Bobby "the Cereal Whisperer" Boswell likely remains the most-blogged about soccer player in D.C. United history. To commemorate his return to D.C. for tomorrow night's throwdown with the Houston Dynamo, we were supposed to have an exclusive Bobby "Guts" Boswell interview in this space, but he appears to be on an airplane or something, so expect that interview tomorrow (and feel free to suggest questions).

In the meantime, you can see that his blog has continued albeit at a much slower pace: check out evidence of strange Houston fans, his wish to exchange blows with Oscar De La Hoya and his graceful fish-on-dry-land goal celebration. Since D.C. United has continued to expand as a blogworthy cyclone of soccer excellence exist in his absence, I figured I'd ask some ex-teammates to help me compile a list of the Top Five Things about Bobby "Top Five List Maker" Boswell NOT being on D.C. United. Here goes.

1) "I'd say everybody on the team actually has normal sized legs now. His legs are extremely short for his body size." - Marc Burch

2) "I don't have to see those short little legs prance around the field every day." - Rod Dyachenko

3) Jeez, just two items in and we're already repeating. It was pointed out that Burch had already laid claim to the "short legs" item. Rod then changed his contribution to "I don't have to see that long torso skipping around the field every day." In the interest of getting to five, I'll let it stand.

4) "No creepy blue eyes starting at you from across the locker room. He has creepy blue eyes, right?" - Devon McTavish

5) "The best things about him not being on D.C. United? How long do you have?" - Ben Olsen

(Upon reflection, Ben then changed his answer to "I don't want to start anything, because he's got that Web site," leaving us well short of five. Other suggestion from the masses: significant decrease in locker room hair product usage.)

By Dan Steinberg  |  June 3, 2008; 4:12 PM ET
Categories:  D.C. United  
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Next: D.C. United: June 2008 Answers

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