Nats Go Green
Since the Nationals currently have some on-the-field problems (all their good players are hurt, they can't score runs, they can't get hits and they're in last place), this might be a good time to focus on off-the-field excitement. Like tonight's "Get Your Green On" promotion, which will feature added star power from someone the team's Web site is calling "famed chef Emeril Lagosse." Close enough. You can't spell "Get Your Green On" without a couple of extra "o's," anyhow.
The first 5,000 fans who exit the Navy Yard Half Street MetroRail Station will receive a loaded farecard that will pay their way back home, and fans who enter the Half Street entrance in center field will walk up a green carpet to the gate.
In addition, Nationals players and ushers will wear green hats for the game, and the Nat Pack & Racing Presidents will wear green shirts in the spirit of the event.
Heck, why stop there. Further suggestions:
* The Nats should agree not to score any runs, so as to prevent the expenditure of electricity in score-changing. Shouldn't be much of a sacrifice.
* Green athletic tape for all injuries!
* Green sutures for Zim, when the shoulder goes under the knife.
* Camouflage for fans, so they can blend in with the seats. Actually, I think this has been happening since Opening Night.
* Supportive appearances by other D.C. athletes including Mike Green, Santana Moss, plus video messages from Ryan Leaf, Reggie Bush and Ken Shamrock.
* In keeping with the spirit of the night, a request to the city to donate some more green, to be used for lining the owners' pockets.
* A recreation by Dmitri Young of the following stanza from Green Eggs and Ham: " I will eat them in a box; And I will eat them with a fox; And I will eat them in a house; And I will eat them with a mouse; And I will eat them here and there; Say! I will eat them ANYWHERE!"
* Recycled outfielders.
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