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Karl Alzner's Fake Mustache


Alzner, at developmental camp, minus his fake 'stache. (By Toni L. Sandys - TWP)


(Following through on this morning's realization that the Caps are comparatively under-served by The Post. We had three staffers there today. Progress. Much more from this Alzner conversation in days to come.)

The Washington Capitals already have their quirky Web icon, that being Alex Ovechkin, the man with the transcontinental Internet girlfriends, personalized clothing line, neon Crocs and Hair Cuttery sponsorship. But Karl Alzner, the organization's 2007 first-round draft pick and top blue-line prospect, has brought equipment-bags full of quirk to this week's development camp, and, well, the media members aren't complaining.

Example: the very first question I asked of Alzner this afternoon revealed that the 19-year-old's current lucky charm is a fake mustache that was once discarded by Snoop Dogg during Game 2 of the 2007 Stanley Cup Finals, which Alzner carries with him to every game in the jacket of his lone suit. The mustache was in honor of Anaheim enforcer and noted mustache enthusiast George Parros; Snoop, having evidently had his fill of fake mustaches, left it behind after the game and Alzner snapped it up.


Snoop, without his fake 'stache. (By Charley Gallay - Getty Images)

(Alzner compared the Ducks' embrace of Parros's 'stache with the current campaign to get Jason Giambi and his 'stache into the All-Star game. See the American Mustache Institute nut cases for more.)

Anyhow, Alzner claims he has never worn this lucky West Coast-infused fake 'stache out in public.

"No way," he said. "I'm even a little nervous to try it on."

Meaning he's never even seen how he might look as a Snoop-scented mustachioed enforcer?

"I have," he said. "But I'm a little nervous to keep putting it on. It's been up his nose, so I shouldn't keep putting it on [mine]. I don't think so, at least. Maybe wash it first."

And if you think keeping this trinket of American excellence in his suit jacket is Alzner's strangest career superstition, think again. Several years ago, he devised a pre-game routine that mandated he was only allowed to turn to the right twice, with every other turn veering leftward. The last shot he takes before he leaves the ice is always a fake forehand go backhand, and "if I can hit the crossbar or if I can put it right underneath the bar, it's a good day, it's gonna be a really good day," he said.

Previously, when he headed to the bench before the puck dropped, he would tap his stick 88 times when he stood for the Canadian anthem, in honor of his year of birth; "I made sure I had it right because it would throw me off," he said.

Then, when the lyric reached "glorious and free," he would shut his eyes, open them, focus on the maple leaf at the center of the Canadian flag and trace its outline with his eyes, starting from the bottom left corner and slowly navigating the circumference until it was completed just as the anthem ended. Eventually, he would start banging his stick again, which was often drowned out by the cheering of the crowd.

"I got rid of a lot of those," he said, "because it's hard to do it every time, you know?"

Sure. But he still has his other routines. He will never put on his right sock before his left, nor his left shoe before his right. His feet go up whenever he's passing over train tracks. And 11:11 on the clock always begets a wish.

"I don't just make one, I make as many as I can think of at the time," he said. "I have three standard ones that I can't say because I want them to come true, and then I have ones like making sure I have a safe flight. Or I win the lottery. Things like that."

And would you believe that I haven't yet gone into his homemade baseball hats, specialty blended banana beverages or love of Nordstrom?

By Dan Steinberg  |  July 9, 2008; 6:59 PM ET
Categories:  Caps  
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Next: Nats Fans vs. The Post's Coverage, Part II

Comments

Great stuff, keep it coming.
Oh, and congrats on your very nice article in the News awhile back.

Posted by: on ice | July 9, 2008 7:38 PM | Report abuse

I think I speak for all of us when I say he's gotta stay up on the big club this year, all year, just to hear more of this.

Posted by: Section 117 | July 9, 2008 7:39 PM | Report abuse

who is this washington-based hockey team you speak of?

Posted by: homer mcfanboy | July 9, 2008 7:54 PM | Report abuse

Time to get a team shrink. This is gonna get expensive.

Posted by: oo7 | July 9, 2008 10:36 PM | Report abuse

Alzner = never-ending entertainment. He'd better make the team this year.

Posted by: Ben | July 9, 2008 10:48 PM | Report abuse

Don't you realize that On Frozen Blog covered this very story two weeks ago???

I'd post a link, but they banned me from reading their blog...

Posted by: Caps Nut | July 10, 2008 12:22 AM | Report abuse

Great - we've drafted the hockey version of Turk Wendell.

Posted by: Eddie C | July 10, 2008 8:00 AM | Report abuse

This guy should party with Ray Allen of the Celtics.

Posted by: Anonymous | July 10, 2008 9:25 AM | Report abuse

Looks like Steinz has a new favorite player in town. What color are his shoelaces?

Posted by: Dan Levy | July 10, 2008 9:56 AM | Report abuse

Who said athletes aren't like normal people...they always wish to win the lottery.

Posted by: WaPoLiveFan16 | July 10, 2008 10:27 AM | Report abuse

This beats Essa Tiikanen.

Posted by: Erol | July 10, 2008 10:31 AM | Report abuse

Was this Snoop Stache the mustache he had with him at the Draft? He was asked about it in his first interview. Said he didn't put it on because he didn't want to be the laughing stock of the draft or something like that

Posted by: Sombrero Guy | July 10, 2008 10:42 AM | Report abuse

The comment volume is starting to overwhelm ... in the spirit of keeping that going, I offer the following proposition: The Nats are over-covered!

Posted by: dcsween | July 10, 2008 11:45 AM | Report abuse

Also, Karl Alzner and Chris Elliott. Separated at birth?

http://www.famousplagiarists.com/images/elliott.jpg

Posted by: dcsween | July 10, 2008 11:48 AM | Report abuse

This kid is going to be very fan's dream when it comes to interviews and quotes. Ovy's got some competition now, haha.

Posted by: Burgh | July 10, 2008 12:33 PM | Report abuse

You've got to be crazy to be good... right?

Posted by: Ian | July 10, 2008 12:57 PM | Report abuse

Roy talked to his goalposts. Alzner is downright normal by comparison.

Posted by: John in Mpls | July 10, 2008 1:49 PM | Report abuse

Way to pwn Ivan and the Wizards Insider re: lack of updates following Gil's signing.

Posted by: Anonymous | July 10, 2008 2:06 PM | Report abuse

hey, why no mention of serena playing in Washington? I saw you at the tennis match.

Posted by: name | July 10, 2008 8:29 PM | Report abuse

>Who said athletes aren't like normal people...they always wish to win the lottery.

Posted by: WaPoLiveFan16 | July 10, 2008 10:27 AM >>>

but they never win cause most lotteries are won in white territories: west VA, montana, et al.

Posted by: Anonymous | July 10, 2008 8:47 PM | Report abuse

Good god I love this kid already! I didn't think it was possible to have more of nut job than Ovie but I think we might have a runnier up here!!! God I love the personalities on this team!

Thanks for hanging out with the Caps this week, I realize you schedule has been pretty tight Dan, considering you had a big weekend at the gold outing and what not..hehe just teasing. Really keep up with the good Caps stories!!!

Posted by: Puddin_an_Semin | July 10, 2008 10:38 PM | Report abuse

hello guys, Why not join in sports lover club ----U k i n t e r r a c i a l m a t c h . c o m -------- to chat with black and white single beauties ? It is a place where I keep meeting many BLACK and WHITE single handsome and beauties...

Posted by: sally | July 12, 2008 12:06 AM | Report abuse

The comments to this entry are closed.

 
 
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