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Smoot's Handing Out New Nicknames


The Bloody Bloke and Brother O'Dell. (By John McDonnell - TWP)


This is a long dialogue. Very, very long. But today's second practice is special teams only, and the media room has cleared out, and, after I published two massive Fred Smoot nickname dialogues last year, I figure might as well keep riding the Fred Smoot Nickname train out to the land of inscrutable Southern-twanged incomprehensibility. Trust me, in person, this is all a lot closer to that scene from Airplane that it probably reads. I'd post the video, but...well, you know.

Me: Did you hear Fred's new nickname?

Carlos Rogers: Nah, what's his nickname?

Me: He said it's Brother O'Dell Pass the Biscuits Pappy O'Daniels.

Carlos: Man, that crazy guy is always bringing up something with Brother O'Dell Pass the Biscuits Pappy O'Daniels. Where he at anyway? He gonna name some crazy joint every week, some crazy names.

Me: So what's your name this season?


Brother O'Dell playing volleyball. (By Pablo Martinez Monsivais - AP)

Carlos: Man, you gotta ask him. Hey, Smoot! [Calling to Smoot, who was in the middle of an interview.] When you get through, come here! He got a name for everybody. He call me Roach Rogers. I don't know what that means. I don't know where he came up with it. When I came back off my injury that's what he's been calling me. You're gonna have to ask him, he know everything.

Me: When did he start with the Brother O'Dell thing?

Carlos: That was this summer.

Me: And he never told you what it means or anything?

Carlos: I never know. Where he come up with these names, I don't know. He has his own meaning. The guy is off. He's out there. He's off.

Me: Last year you guys had that Johan one, remember?

Carlos: Yeah yeah yeah, that was my name, Johan Cavalli Valentino.

Me: Where did you actually come up with that one? Because there's a soccer player named Johan Cavalli, right?

Carlos: Right. You look at soccer players names and you look at baseball players names and you just come up with your good name.

Me: Why soccer and baseball?

Carlos: They got different names.

Me: Well, because they're from Italy...

Carlos:
See, he crazy. [Pointing to Smoot.] He just look crazy. There's something wrong with him. Put some clothes on! [To a shirtless Malcolm Kelly.]

Me: You ever see that movie 'O Brother, Where Art Thou?' You ever heard of that movie?

Carlos: I don't really watch movies. Just never been into 'em. Never been into 'em. I never been into movies....[Smoot approaches.] Ask him. Ask him about the Brother O'Dell.

Me: It's from O Brother Where Art Thou.

Smoot: And that's where it came from, O Brother Where Art Thou, and I NEVER knew you watched movies like that. You remember, I was trying to GIVE you movies to watch. That was one of them.

Me: I had to Google that. I've never seen that movie.

Smoot: Great movie. Watch it. It's got, uh, who in it?

Me: George Clooney.

Smoot: George Clooney. A couple guys. Watch it. He never seen it. [Gesturing at Rogers.]

Me: I think you got the names wrong a little bit though. It's not Pappy O'Daniels, it's Pappy O'Daniel.

Smoot: No, I switched it to what I wanted it to be. I got the basics from that movie right there.

Carlos: So you just look at a movie that you know nobody gonna see, and you gonna copy it?

Smoot: Nah, I didn't copy it. Like I said, I integrated the name into what it becomes now: MY name.

Me: But no one on this team actually knows your name.

Smoot: They know Brother O'Dell. He know Brother O'Dell. [Gesturing at Rogers.]

Carlos: What do Pass the Biscuits as a name mean?

Smoot: I come from a long line of Pass the Biscuits. I come from a long line of 'em.

Me: What's Roach Rogers?

Smoot: He went under Roach Rogers last year. He gonna get a new name this year.

Me: But what's the Roach mean?

Smoot:
'Cause he was roach-legged. He bow-legged. You know, most roaches I know is bow-legged, so we named him Roach Rogers. It just happened like that. Nicknames, you don't pick it, nobody picks it, you just fall into it.

Me: So you gonna come up with a new one for him this year then?

Smoot: It's just gonna happen. It's gonna be one play, or sometime we sitting in the meeting room, Bam! there go his name.

Me: You got any names for any of the rookies yet?

Smoot: They have to earn one. Now Blue Foot, he has a new name.

Me: Oh, he does? Shawn?

Smoot: Yeah, he goes by the Bloody Bloke.

Me: The Bloody Blow?

Smoot: The Bloody Bloke.

Me: The Bloody Bloke? Why is that?

Smoot: Because he think he's from England. Now he's the Bloody Bloke.

Me: Why's he think he's from England?

Smoot: How he dresses. How he acts.

By Dan Steinberg  |  July 23, 2008; 2:28 PM ET
Categories:  Redskins  
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Comments

You need to request a new Smootname for yourself, Steinbog.

Posted by: MDT | July 23, 2008 2:46 PM | Report abuse

do you think Matt Terl has video of this exchange?

Posted by: BBK | July 23, 2008 2:49 PM | Report abuse

Bless that Fred Smoot. Any word if he has been on the ski slopes lately? (wo ladies, two toys? Oh just read the police report!

Posted by: Toot toot its Captain Smoot! | July 23, 2008 2:57 PM | Report abuse

MDT,

Smoot's not allowed to give media members nicknames by NFL rules.

Posted by: Kim | July 23, 2008 3:05 PM | Report abuse

The Redskins' Front Office should submit trademark applications for these nicknames so they can add another revenue stream.

Posted by: Anonymous | July 23, 2008 3:41 PM | Report abuse

Bloody BLoke is australian you dummy.

Posted by: Anonymous | July 23, 2008 3:54 PM | Report abuse

Fred Smoot is a gift.

Posted by: Diego | July 23, 2008 3:56 PM | Report abuse

I am pretty sure they say bloody and bloke in England. And who are you to correct The Mouth from the South?

Posted by: @Anon 3:54 | July 23, 2008 4:08 PM | Report abuse

You are not to question me and no, no they don't say that in England. They say that in Australia these are facts and not to be disputed.

Posted by: Anonymous | July 23, 2008 4:14 PM | Report abuse

Go to Australia you wanker

Posted by: Anonymous | July 23, 2008 4:25 PM | Report abuse

Dan you can't go to China for the Olympics and miss all of the Smoot HOF game quotes.

Posted by: G20 FdaCowboys | July 23, 2008 4:35 PM | Report abuse

Next time, have Smoot come up with nicknames for Snyder, Cerrato and the Extreme Skins commentators.

Posted by: UMD's Burning Couch | July 23, 2008 4:39 PM | Report abuse

That's funny because all the roaches I know are pigeon-toed. He must be talking about those Deep South roaches.

Posted by: Mustachio | July 23, 2008 4:55 PM | Report abuse

I've lived in London and Australia and they both say bloody and bloke....though no one has ever said the two together. I think I am infinitely stupider for having read this Carlos/Smoot exchange.

Posted by: ahern | July 23, 2008 5:08 PM | Report abuse

I would substitute a Fred Smoot interview for coffee every morning if possible. I'm calling him Folgers from now on.

Posted by: laz | July 24, 2008 9:19 AM | Report abuse

The comments to this entry are closed.

 
 
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