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Man the Olympics Are Weird



There are about 700 stories about the Opening Ceremonies on this Web site so I'll just give you the executive summary: the Olympics are Weird.

The slightly longer version: I walked around the Bird's Nest just before the Opening Ceremonies started, and what I discovered was sweat, young Chinese people posing for pictures while flashing the peace sign, young Chinese people posing for pictures while giving elaborate thumbs-up displays, young Chinese people in military uniforms scowling and holding up their hands at anyone who walked near them, men with their shirts bunched up to their breasts, a U.S. presidential motorcade, young Chinese people taking photographs of a U.S. presidential motorcade, sweat, 14 million performers in costume, fireworks, smoke, smog, smokey smog, sweat, and somewhere in there some athletes in fancy costumes waving flags. And sweating.



I stood and stared at the Greek delegation, in their gleaming white suits, for quite a while. They weren't moving. Even the parade lines have traffic in this city. The fans took photos of the static Greeks. The static Greeks took photos of the fans. I took photos of the fans taking photos of the static Greeks taking photos of the fans. I sweated.

Then I gave up, came back to the media center, ate pizza, drank beer, and thought about the NFL.


By Dan Steinberg  |  August 8, 2008; 1:59 PM ET
Categories:  Olympics  
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Comments

Where are the photographs of these static white-clad Greeks? That sounds awesome.

Posted by: Nate in the PDX | August 8, 2008 2:18 PM | Report abuse

test... test... sibilance... sibilance...

Posted by: Nate in the PDX | August 8, 2008 2:20 PM | Report abuse

you shouldnt be allowed to enjoy something as great as pizza if youre a vegetarian.

loser

Posted by: asians are nuts | August 8, 2008 2:25 PM | Report abuse

Pizza knows no limits.

Posted by: B.A. | August 8, 2008 2:35 PM | Report abuse

Chinese beer?

Posted by: Bonita | August 8, 2008 2:39 PM | Report abuse

Tsingtao.

Not a bad beer except for the pounding headache I get after even one.

Posted by: Beaker | August 8, 2008 2:51 PM | Report abuse

Are those golden boxes the Lost Ark?

Posted by: Erin | August 8, 2008 2:51 PM | Report abuse

It's so hot Dan just mentioned sweat about 20 times in one sentence, yet the US Olympic team's outfit had six pieces, including a suit made out of something called "tropical weight wool."

Posted by: Louise | August 8, 2008 3:02 PM | Report abuse

(Steinz knows it's only the NFL exhibition season, right? that he'll be back in the States before they're playing games that count? they did tell him that, didn't they?)

Posted by: Nate in the PDX | August 8, 2008 3:02 PM | Report abuse

@ Nate in the PDX

that was a really stupid comment

Posted by: youre a loser | August 8, 2008 3:12 PM | Report abuse

HOORAY BEER!

Posted by: littles | August 8, 2008 3:30 PM | Report abuse

That "peace sign" that everyone is flashing is the Asian sign for "Asian Domination." They've got us in population, that's for sure. . .

Posted by: Gerrard | August 8, 2008 3:41 PM | Report abuse

15,000 "cast members" - someone's gotta screw up at some point. Your mission Agent Steinz, should you choose to accept it, is to interview the poor schnook before they're taken out back and shot...

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Well I thought your article was good, your personal observations, impressions and of the day. I like your "sweat" humor you injected, it made me laugh.

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The comments to this entry are closed.

 
 
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