Men's Volleyball Team and Back Hair
This should be it today from the Steinberg-Can't-Post-It-Himself Bureau ...
While my plan has been to obsess about the Icelandic men's and Swedish women's handball teams, I'm having second thoughts. There's also the American men's volleyball team, which has a chance to actually medal and seems amusing. To make sure, I asked libero Rich Lambourne.
"You mean amusing like ridiculous amounts of body hair?" he asked?
Well, yeah. Before he could continue, his teammate Scotty Touzinsky interrupted, attempting to change the subject. "He loves celebrity blogs," he said of Lambourne. "He's on Perez Hilton all day long."
"I do enjoy the Perez," Lambourne confirmed. "I mean, that's really the only one I read, just because I think it's funny to draw stuff on people's faces."
But back to the topic at hand: body hair, and lots of it. Lambourne has roomed with Touzinsky in the past, and thus has a wealth of personal knowledge on this particular topic.
"You know, my whole life growing up, my grandpa was like the gold standard for borderline sasquatch-level body hairs," he told me, "and Scotty as a youngster has him pretty rivaled."
"Chest hair, I've got the chest hair," Touzinsky admitted.
"You've got the shoulder AND back hair, don't kid yourself," Lambourne said.
"A little back, not much," Touzinsky admitted.
"It's almost angelic, because you've got, like, wings," Lambourne continued.
"I've got wings, bro," Touzinsky admitted.
I wondered whether the volleyball uniforms were inadequate tools for the censoring of said body hair, to use the phrase of the Games. ("Censoring," not "body hair.")
"No, you can't tell," Touzinsky assured me.
"No no no, don't let him kid you," Lambourne disagreed. "We do play in sleeveless jerseys now, so you'll see it sprouting out."
"A little shoulder hair sprouting out, a little bit," Touzinsky admitted.
"Scotty actually wears a chain so he knows where to stop shaving," Lambourne said, making this easily the longest interview about athlete body hair I had ever conducted.
"Hey hey hey, that's not true," Touzinsky said. "But family genetics is a beautiful thing, I guess you could say, and I was fortunate enough to get the chest hair from my father."
"Are you interviewing them?" asked a television personality who was evidently unfamiliar with my oeuvre. "I was like, 'At what point do I think they're just having a fun conversation?' "
"Never," Touzinsky said, "this is all about business here," which definitely made me inclined to provide round-the-clock men's indoor volleyball coverage. As did their suggestion that I grow a Fu Manchu and mutton chops in honor of the Olympics.
Posted by: Betty | August 6, 2008 7:27 PM | Report abuse
Posted by: odessasteps | August 6, 2008 8:22 PM | Report abuse
Posted by: misschatter | August 6, 2008 8:47 PM | Report abuse
Posted by: Tofudebeast | August 6, 2008 8:56 PM | Report abuse
Posted by: soonermama | August 6, 2008 9:09 PM | Report abuse
Posted by: JDP | August 6, 2008 9:13 PM | Report abuse
Posted by: Louise | August 6, 2008 10:34 PM | Report abuse
Posted by: Jon DeNunzio | August 6, 2008 10:59 PM | Report abuse
Posted by: Bill Fitzgerald | August 6, 2008 11:32 PM | Report abuse
Posted by: sports | August 7, 2008 5:15 AM | Report abuse
Posted by: ww2 aircraft | August 8, 2008 7:20 PM | Report abuse
The comments to this entry are closed.