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2008-2009 Redskins Odds

Ways this photo could be called "awkward": over/under of seven. (By John McDonnell - TWP)

Hello, and let me welcome myself back to Redskins/Wizards/Caps/United land, also known as "the land featuring sporting events that regular D.C. Sports Bog readers actually care about." I should thank my bosses for letting me go to China to cover the Olympics and inhale the odor of jet fuel for 25 days, but truth be told, media buses and media lounges and media work rooms don't feel all that much different in Beijing than, say, East Rutherford. And Giants Stadium has much better pudding.

(On the other hand, the expense report I recently filed included about $250 worth of food receipts for 24 days in Beijing. Either Beijing food is cheap, I'm not eating enough, or I should have found a way to expense those $1.25 beers.)

Anyhow, moving on to the Redskins. Skip an entire month, and what exactly happens? A former starter at right tackle fails to reclaim his job, the blog reading habits of Vinny Cerrato's mom are revealed, Chris Cooley's brother starts the Eastern Motors Blog, something something something Chief Zee and a white-hot team-shredding controversy bubbles up concerning.....the punter? Clearly the regular season can't arrive soon enough.

And in that spirit, courtesy of Bodog, here are a whole mess of sporting odds related to the 2008-2009 Washington Redskins. They do not include the odds on Bill Cowher's arrival date (before/after Jan. 16, 2010), the number of Web sites Chris Cooley will write for this season (over/under 114), or the likelihood that a certain beat writer and a certain executive will make amends (100,000-1). Here's what they've got. (And yeah, you could have read them elsewhere yesterday, but that version offers worse odds of the team winning the Super Bowl than winning the NFC East, which doesn't make much sense.)

Odds to win the NFC East: 13/2. Exact same odds that had been listed on Joe Biden getting the Dems' VP nomination. Buy now! I mean, this is the 21st century NFL. No one has any idea what will happen.

Odds to win the 2008 NFC Championship: 18-1. Well, fine, we know this won't happen.

Odds to win Super Bowl XXIXIXXILVIC: 40-1. Were I a fan, I'd opt for the sheer out-of-nowhere bliss of a world championship over, say, a surprise $400 that will be gone in about 10 minutes at the Craps table. In fact, if you agree, I'll preemptively assure you of maximum undiluted bliss by encouraging you to send me your $10 right now.

Regular-Season Wins: Over/under 7.5 (-115). There are 256 regular-season NFL wins out there; take away about 23 for the Patriots/Colts, and your average NFL team will win 7.77 games. I believe the Redskins are average; thus, I take the over. As long as they can get about 45 percent of a win this week, I should be fine.

Regular-Season Home Wins: Over 4 (-130), Under 4 (Even). Has any team ever inspired such boring odds?

Regular-Season Away Wins: Over 3.5 (-110), Under 3.5 (-120). As many times as I use one hand to count Baltimore, San Francisco and Detroit, it still only equals three. Those oddsmakers are crafty.

Jason Campbell Passing Yards: Over/under 3,300. Dude threw for 2,700 in 13 games last year. So either he has to stay healthy for 16, or James Thrash has to significantly outperform the Keenan McCardell/Reche Caldwell/James Thrash triumvirate. On the other hand, I already have Campbell on my fantasy team. Over!

Jason Campbell Passing Touchdowns: Over/under 18.5. Someone at this paper has to be optimistic for three days in September, punter controversy or no punter controversy Over!

Clinton Portis Rushing Yards: Over/under 1,250. The man's crossed that threshold in five of his six seasons. Over! Sign me up for Redskins PR!

Clinton Portis Receiving Yards: Over/Under 350. The man had 389 last year before the West Coast came to town. Over! Get me one of those nice NFL polo shirts, too!

Clinton Portis Total Touchdowns: Over/under 10. Number of time the Washington Post points out that the team kept all 10 draft picks: over/under 20.

Ladell Betts Rushing and Receiving Yards: Over/under 550. Well if Marcus Mason is a sure 1,600-yard guy, and he can't even beat out Betts, this has got to be an easy cover. Over!

Santana Moss Receiving Yards: Over/under 950. That number doesn't inspire too much confidence in the passing attack, does it?

Santana Moss Touchdowns: Over/under 5. Nor this one.

Antwaan Randle El Receiving Yards: Over/under 650. And this is the No. 2 receiver in a pass-heavy offense, a man who is backed up by James Thrash and two rookies who have spent the preseason collecting disparaging remarks from their coach.

Who will have more receiving yards? Devin Thomas (-300) or Malcolm Kelly (+225). Speaking of. You know, when I first read this, I thought the over/under for Devin Thomas's receiving yards was -300. Zorn would likely call that optimistic.

Chris Cooley Receiving Yards: Over/under 750. These all start to sound the same. Why can't there be over/unders on offensive line pancake blocks? Or offensive line pancakes consumed?

Chris Cooley Touchdowns: Over/under 6.5. Or offensive pancake makeup applications in the owner's box?

Jason Taylor/Andre Carter Sacks Over/under 9.5 for both. If Jason Taylor and Andre Carter both post double-digit sacks, I will eat a sack. Of pancakes.

By Dan Steinberg  |  September 2, 2008; 8:29 AM ET
Categories:  Redskins  
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I feel ill.

Posted by: Unsilent Majority | September 2, 2008 8:55 AM | Report abuse

Redskins/Wizards/Caps/United Land? What, no Kastles?

Posted by: Max Wass | September 2, 2008 10:31 AM | Report abuse

Rufies slipped into drinks at Dead Tree Crew tailgate? Over/under 12.

Posted by: Stalk Much? | September 2, 2008 10:42 AM | Report abuse

Looking at the picture above, it took me a minute to realize who was who after I wondered why the Greaseman was wearing a tie.

Posted by: Chris in SS | September 2, 2008 11:15 AM | Report abuse

At least Grilliams was wearing a bro so you can't see nip... very considerate of him.

Posted by: Nate in the PDX | September 2, 2008 11:48 AM | Report abuse

Welcome back, Steinz. Update your header.

Posted by: Jamie Mottram | September 2, 2008 11:54 AM | Report abuse

Odds of Stalk Much commenting on the DTC today: 1/1

Odds of Stalk Much actually voicing his comments in person at a DTC Tailgate: 1,000,000/1

And why would any of us need to slip ruffies when we all run a train on your mother?

PS: Your mother pays for that train, literally and figuratively!

Posted by: The Mayor of FedEx Field | September 2, 2008 12:16 PM | Report abuse

Thanks for responding, "Mayor". And for reminding us all what a classy crew you lead... If I am ever able to make it to your tailgate rest assured I'll be easy to spot - I'll be the one walking upright and breathing through my nose.

Posted by: Stalk Much? | September 2, 2008 1:24 PM | Report abuse

Yay! Dan's back!

Posted by: FS | September 2, 2008 1:56 PM | Report abuse

"Thanks for responding, "Mayor""

No problem "Stalk Much" as a proven DTC hater, I wouldnt dare miss a chance to respond to your comments.

"And for reminding us all what a classy crew you lead"

Your comment about ruffies defines class. But thanks for reiterating ours!

"If I am ever able to make it to your tailgate"

Just switch schedules with Jose. I am sure management at the Manassas Wendy's will understand.

"I'll be the one walking upright and breathing through my nose."

I figured you would come from lurking behind the bushes and tell us to stop banging your mother.

Either way, I will be on the look out for you sports fan!!!!!!!!!!!


Posted by: Anonymous | September 2, 2008 2:02 PM | Report abuse

You can tell this is a legit DTC response because:

1. Grammar and punctuation = 3rd grade level.
2. Racial overtones (I'm sure the name "Jose" was randomly selected...)
3. Unoriginal taunts (you're banging my mom? I work at a fast food restaurant? that's the best you can muster?)
4. The big finish... "NOT!" Just can't argue with that kind of wit.

Posted by: Stalk Much? | September 2, 2008 2:42 PM | Report abuse

I just changed my name cause all I do is talk.

Posted by: Talk Much? | September 2, 2008 3:17 PM | Report abuse

I just changed my name cause all I do is talk.

Posted by: Talk Much? | September 2, 2008 3:17 PM | Report abuse

come on, the season hasn't started and we're already talking DTC? can't we just save all discussion until these tough guys beat up a poor old lady in an Eagles jacket or something?

Posted by: Anonymous | September 2, 2008 4:01 PM | Report abuse

i thought you already turned down an offer to do Redskins PR? maybe you could sell lil' Danny one pro-Skins post per week.

Posted by: jamie | September 2, 2008 4:51 PM | Report abuse

I guess that rabbit food you eat is cheap.

Posted by: odessasteps | September 2, 2008 5:28 PM | Report abuse

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