Archuleta Fans at Skins Game
I was walking from my car to the stadium yesterday when I saw two guys at the same tailgate wearing Adam Archuleta jerseys. I thought it was a sun-fueled dream. Was this the Archuleta Fan Club? Adam's Fairfax-based cousins?
"It's a $5 bib," said Rich Juchnewicz.
"Somebody's got to wear it," noted Archuleta No. 2, who called himself Kevin. "Look at that Archuleta, he has a tuba," he pointed out, as Archuleta No. 3 approached. I rubbed my eyes some more. "How about that Archuleta?" No. 2 said, as a fourth materialized.
Indeed, here came Jay Converse, wearing an Archuleta jersey and a tuba, accompanied by Kenny Robinson, Archuleta No. 4.
"We've got four of 'em, four 40s," Archuleta No. 2 said.
"I run a 4.40," Tuba Archuleta said.
"We were supposed to be drinking 40s, too," Archuleta No. 1 said.
"Play, 'Hail to the Redskins' on your tuba,' " Archuleta No. 2 ordered, which Tuba Archuleta did. Then he began playing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow," also on his tuba. This was getting trippy. Rich's son Wes, Son of Archuleta, ranted about Archuleta being the most overrated, overpaid bust in the NFL. Archuleta No. 1 said he hoped Daniel Snyder would see the four Archuletas and get upset. I made one last attempt to figure out what was with this 4x40 display.
"Would you rather get barbecue sauce on your $100 Darrell Green jersey or your $5 Archuleta jersey?" Archuleta No. 4 asked.
Acting on that theory, Archuleta No. 2 had thus bought 16 Archuleta jerseys on super sale, handing them out to all his friends. He had 12 more, and offered to cut me a deal. "You want me to show you my Brandon Lloyd jersey too?" he asked. "Would that make you happy?"
It would have, actually. And there's no greater act of Snyder disobedience than loading up on the cheapest jerseys imaginable in order to wipe up your barbecue sauce while also reminding the front office of past mishaps. Although, frankly, Mr. Snyder still gets the cash for those sales, so I'm not totally sure what to think.
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