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DeSean Jackson Goofs, Cooley and Kornheiser Apologize

Greetings and welcome to an NFL-and-apology version of today's Internet roundup.

1) You want an apology? How about Chris Cooley's blog apology, which turned into an AP brief: "All apologies from the website. We are very sorry that we showed a [male body part] on our website all day yesterday." I love apologies that require brackets to appear on mainstream newspaper Web sites.

As for Coach Jim Zorn's very reasonable comments to Jason Reid that players should not be posting private information from their playbook, I don't think anyone would disagree. But it's hard to imagine how much competitive advantage could be gained by a glimpse at gems like this:

Q: Do the safeties change in Nickel? If so, who comes in?

A: No.

Now, if, in addition to his privates, Cooley was also revealing fly routes and naked bootlegs and the plan for third-and-long, I might be more concerned.

2) You want an apology? How about sort-of-colleague Tony Kornheiser's bizarre "I'm sorry" moment from last night's game, as transcribed by Awful Announcing:

About the Spanish-language broadcast: "I took high school Spanish, either he said he's not going to be caught, or please pick up my dry cleaning tomorrow."

About what he said: "I said something before which I shouldn't have said, I apologize for it. Not my first mistake, undoubtedly won't be my last, but a 100% apology."

As others have noted: huh? I mean, when I talk to Fred Smoot, I often have no idea what the heck he's talking about, but I never apologize for saying so. I'll have to ask him where he gets his dry cleaning done, just in case.

3) DeSean Jackson has the most creative ways of dispatching with the football before reaching the end zone.

4) LaRon Landry's lime green Lamborghini with lime green rims is incredible, and I'm extremely disappointed that someone else broke this story. I will say that LaRon had an incredible thing hanging around his neck after the game, and also that I was prohibited to take a photo of it. But trust me, it would fit in very nicely with this car.

5) Any time I conduct a long Q&A over many months with the American Mustache Institute, I should probably link to it here. Don't forget to submit your nominations for the Robert Goulet Memorial Mustached American of the Year. Plenty of Washington sports personalities from whom to choose.

By Dan Steinberg  |  September 16, 2008; 3:28 PM ET
Categories:  What You Need to Know  
Save & Share:  Send E-mail   Facebook   Twitter   Digg   Yahoo Buzz   StumbleUpon   Technorati   Google Buzz   Previous: Cooley Into Top 25 of Jersey Sales
Next: Portis vs. B-Mitch


The stache is glorious.

Posted by: | September 16, 2008 3:41 PM | Report abuse

Hopefully Zorn didn't use the word "schmuck" this time around.

Posted by: Unsilent Majority | September 16, 2008 3:51 PM | Report abuse

The worst part is that Kornheiser has the Spanish and Koreans confused in his racism.

Dan, when's the last time you bought stocks in Shanghi (that's China) from Hackensack after midnight?

(yea, yea..I know, you've heard that one before...but they just won't stop running that commercial)

Posted by: | September 16, 2008 4:56 PM | Report abuse

A lot tougher to be funny without being insulting than most people think. When on national broadcasts, better to not take the chance, TK.

Posted by: Arlington Pimp | September 16, 2008 5:27 PM | Report abuse

Art Monk deserves Goulet award.

Posted by: Skin Patrol | September 16, 2008 7:27 PM | Report abuse

He has a history of saying these outrageous, ON-AIR, comments that are borderline racist and over-the-line offensive to non-kornheiser fans. But he gets a pass because he hangs with Wilbon, you know, his Black friend.

Maybe two years or so ago on his radio show Kornheiser said something about one of the black American Idol kids (i think the kids name was Gideon, and he did have a funny looking face, but...ummm) Korny said the kid 'looked like a monkey' or ...'had a face like a monkey' or something like that...Kornheiser or idol sychophants look it up on old kornheiser show podcasts during the timeframe when the Gideon kid got kicked off the idol show. Korny does it all the time, but NEVER EVER gets called on was a great game to see but not to listen to.

Posted by: Kornyheiser | September 16, 2008 9:24 PM | Report abuse

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