Media Members Fight Donald Brashear, Each Other

Dan Hellie vs. Dave Feldman, while Donald Brashear watches.

The Caps held their media fantasy camp today. Something about watching videos and learning to skate and shooting on goal, yada yada yada. Really, it was just an excuse to fake spar with Donald Brashear and Matt Bradley. Chiefly Brashear. Around about the time he was dancing in front of Cakes from the Junkies and making some gentle feints with his left hand, I asked what would happen if he actually let fly.

"It wouldn't feel too good," Brashear said.

"I'm staring down the barrel of a loaded Donald Brashear left jab," Cakes said. "I'd be crumpled on the ground."

Meantime, other media members skirmished on their own. Like WRC's Dan Hellie, who, moments after the media corps took the ice, already had Fox 5's Dave Feldman in a choke hold, getting Feldy's shirt over his head and then depositing him on the ground as the cameras rolled.

Hellie, after the first fight.

"Erase that video right now," Feldman said to his cameraman.

"I thought you were more of a man than that," WRC's Lindsay Czarniak said.

"Try it again later," Brashear advised.

"You'll never catch me," Hellie said, dancing around his fallen foe while celebrating.

Feldy, after the first fight.

Of course, when that trio wound up in Brashear's fighting tutorial (main advice: bend your knees, get your balance, throw your gloves and stick far away and then basically punch), Feldman jumped Hellie, tackled him, and deposited a wide variety of blows, pummeling Hellie while his legs popped up into the air.

"Watch the skates!" the players said.

"Do I have my manhood back?" Feldman asked.

"Idiot," Hellie said.

All in good fun, though. Others in uniform: ESPN 980's Scott Linn, Junkies producer Bret Oliverio, Comcast SportsyNet shooter Mike D., radio play-by-play man Steve Kolbe, Washington Times scribe Ryan O'Halloran, Baltimore Sun columnist Peter Schmuck, Caps PR guys Kurt Kehl, Paul Rovnak and Nate Ewell, ESPN the Magazine's Sarah Turcotte and Lindsay Berra, actual Caps Boyd Gordon, Chris Clark and Brent Johnson, and son-of-coach Ben Boudreau, a speedy scorer who seems to have his father's gift of the soundbite.

Like, I asked him during his trip to the fighting seminar whether he was a fighter.

"Do I [bleepin] look like a fighter?" he asked.

More from Caps land later.

Above, Cakes fights Brashear. Below, Cakes fights Czarniak.