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Jim Zorn's Symphonic Masterpiece


One of these men plays the viola. (By John McDonnell - TWP)

Jim Zorn's Wednesday media session last week yielded the story of the time he found that road-kill coyote and skinned it for its pelt. That was kind of fun. This week, after the coach had dealt with Jason Campbell's groin and his surprising reliance on the run game and his stint coaching in Detroit, some rabblerouser decided to ask if he had really been an an orchestral headliner nearly three decades ago.

"Absolutely," Zorn said, eyes twinkling like an Eschenbach baton under the FedEx Field lights. "Did you hear I skinned a coyote in my front yard? All right, all right, so here's the deal."

Right, so here's the deal. Zorn's wife, Joy, plays the viola. Zorn, as you may have heard, is always anxious to learn new skills. So around Christmas time in the late '70s, he decided that he could certainly pick up something so simple as the viola.

[Bog interruption: I asked Clinton Portis if he plays any instruments, and he scoffed, like I was a fool. "Saxophone," he said. "I'm [bleeping] Luther Vandross." Just passing it along. Back to Zorn.]

"I thought I'd be a little smart-aleck and I said, 'I can play this thing, there's only four strings, " the coach said after today's practice. "And I'm left-handed, so I played it left-handed, [even though] it's strung for a right-handed person, and I started learning."

With the holiday spirit in effect, Zorn learned how to play "Silent Night." He learned how to play the "Ode to Joy" from Beethoven's Ninth Symphony. He learned how to play classic American folk songs. And then, when a local talk show asked Zorn's wife for some funny questions to ask her husband, she mentioned that he was learning how to play the viola, that oft-forgotten but invaluable member of the orchestral team, the very opposite of a quarterback.

"So they asked me the question, and I just started cracking up," Zorn remembered. "And so I told them, I explained this story. The Seattle Symphony calls the program and says we'd like you to do a medley on a subscription night at the Symphony, on a Wednesday subscription night, when the whole orchestra was there. I said, 'Are you kidding?' "

They weren't kidding. Now, if the Boston Pops, on a whim, called a talk show and inquired as to whether Bill Belichick might join them on stage for a subscription night, he'd mutter something into his sweatshirt and storm off. But when the Seattle Symphony extended that invitation to Jim Zorn, he started practicing. With a nine-year old boy who lived around the corner and who played the bass fiddle. The boy's mother played the cello, you see. Bear in mind that Zorn was an NFL superstar at this point in his life, practicing the viola with a nine-year old kid down the block who played the bass fiddle.

Anyhow, the big night came. Zorn and the nine-year old went out, each holding each other's instrument, each wearing jeans and tuxedo t-shirts. Really, they were wearing tuxedo t-shirts. Then they traded instruments, and Zorn played the viola like a fiddle, holding it under his armpit.

"We played three songs," Zorn said. "We played Twinkle Twinkle Little Star--with variations. We played Ode to Joy. And then we brought the house down with Hang Down Your Head Tom Dooley, and we literally got a standing ovation."

Hmmm. For shame, Wade Phillips, for shame. I told some Redskins players, and asked if they were surprised that their coach once gave a symphony performance.

"No," Colt Brennan said. "Did you know he played collegiate badminton? He does different stuff like that."

"Jack of all trades," Chris Samuels summarized.

Before he started talking to an out-of-town reporter about the acquisition of Shaun Alexander, I asked Zorn whether he still tinkers around with any instruments.

"I just turn knobs on the radio," he said with a smile.

By Dan Steinberg  |  October 22, 2008; 4:37 PM ET
Categories:  Redskins  
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Next: Morning Look: Erskine Airborne

Comments

Zorn should be the spokesperson for Dos Equis.

Posted by: StetSports.com | October 22, 2008 4:55 PM | Report abuse

Where's Anne Midgette when you need her?

Posted by: Lindemann | October 22, 2008 5:04 PM | Report abuse

Zorn is my hero

Posted by: jonthefisherman | October 22, 2008 6:23 PM | Report abuse

Badminton? Now that is just weird.

Posted by: icantfeelmyface | October 22, 2008 7:02 PM | Report abuse

I don't know, after Coach Gibbs, Zorn just seems so ... boring.

Posted by: Jamie Mottram | October 22, 2008 7:39 PM | Report abuse

Hardly surprising. Just three weeks ago he played Jim Johnson like a fiddle.

Posted by: laz | October 22, 2008 10:38 PM | Report abuse

Turn those radio dials too fast and nothing is heard but static and noise. Falcon NEEDS to hear falconer or center cannot hold!!!

Even Mozart knew when to abandon the baton ... Can't have harmony w/out MELODY.

Pick ONE instrument, unmistakably clear. Make sure your audience can hear. Then play with all you've got. You've got a song that NEEDS to be heard. Stop letting it rot your insides out. Pour it out. From the heart.

MELODY.

Send it softly soaring through her atmosphere ...

Posted by: W.B. Yeats | October 23, 2008 1:17 AM | Report abuse

I love this guy!

Posted by: Vince Lombardi | October 23, 2008 8:26 AM | Report abuse

This is blogging at its best!

Posted by: The Fun Bunch | October 23, 2008 8:45 AM | Report abuse

this dudes freakin' amazing!

Posted by: craig2 | October 23, 2008 9:53 AM | Report abuse

"Zorn should be the spokesperson for Dos Equis."
Posted by: StetSports.com | October 22, 2008 4:55 PM

I was thinking the same thing as i read this. I want to be a Jim Zorn when i grow up.

Posted by: laxbigj | October 23, 2008 10:06 AM | Report abuse

I actually used to have a Christian tract about Jim Zorn, back when he was playing, with a picture of this (symphony performance) on the front of it. I'd been wondering if it would ever come up, since there have been several stories about his varied interests, but no mention of this previously.

Posted by: skinz_man | October 23, 2008 10:11 AM | Report abuse

Zorn for President!!!

Posted by: mikesgirl1 | October 23, 2008 11:29 AM | Report abuse

I luv our Zorn star...

Posted by: jhorstma | October 23, 2008 12:07 PM | Report abuse

The comments to this entry are closed.

 
 
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