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Morning Look: Show Me Your Cooley

Warning: Possibly tasteless. Look away if you're extremely sensitive. Or if you're my boss.

It's still early, but this has clearly been the Year of the T-Shirt for Skins fans. The Brothers Mottram have already spit out the Zorn Star and Stay Medium shirts, and this morning debuted their amazing new t-shirt model: Clinton Portis! Chris Cooley unveiled his own line of t-shirts. The stands at home games are literally filled with the Junkies' Horny for Zorny shirts and various designs from D.C. Sports Fan.

And now this. Meet Darla Church and Jenni Kreller, on a two-woman mission to turn "Cooley" into a noun with a quite specific anatomical meaning. I'll let you guess what meaning that might be.

Darla told me that they're tired of going to NFL football games with female friends and listening to drunk male fans ask them to show off their...well, body parts.

"Show US something," Darla told me, speaking generically of male football fans. "Show us your Cooley."

The shirts are available in several fonts, and are properly accompanied by shrieks from the wearer, mostly to visiting Cleveland Browns fans, repeating the demand on the shirt. So, did it work? Had they seen any, um, Cooleys?

"Just our husbands'," Darla told me. "What can we do?"

"Everyone else is too shy," Jenni said.

"We told the Browns fans we'd stop telling them they [stink] if they show us their Cooleys, but they're too shy, so they continue to [stink]," Darla said.

She e-mailed me the link to the t-shirt shop this week, a message that had a sad addendum.

"We still didn't get to see any Cooleys," she wrote. "I don't think everyone knows what they are yet!"

Give it time, Darla, give it time.

By Dan Steinberg  |  October 22, 2008; 10:28 AM ET
Categories:  Morning Look , Redskins  
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Just doesn't have the same ring as "Show Your "Grits."

Posted by: | October 22, 2008 10:56 AM | Report abuse

that'll get a man arrested and publicly flogged by the local media!

Posted by: paul reubens | October 22, 2008 11:03 AM | Report abuse

rock out with your cooley out?

Posted by: jonthefisherman | October 22, 2008 11:07 AM | Report abuse

"Culi" is Italian-American slang for butt. My grandmother used to always threaten spanking my "culi."

Posted by: R.J. | October 22, 2008 11:22 AM | Report abuse

Eddie Griffin's Cooley was his downfall.

Posted by: DBKAlum | October 22, 2008 11:30 AM | Report abuse


Posted by: Alex35332 | October 22, 2008 11:33 AM | Report abuse

How can you hate on this work of art:

Posted by: Alex35332 | October 22, 2008 11:35 AM | Report abuse

Jenni and I are so proud that we are getting some publicity for the them up!
Thanks for the fabulous review Dan! See ya at the game!

Posted by: Darla | October 22, 2008 12:47 PM | Report abuse

OK, men, I guess I'm going to have to reveal one of our secrets:

Ladies, we've been keeping things from you. One of them is that, at the first signs of puberty, our fathers send away for an info kit that is given to every young man so that he may learn the secrets of manhood. One of the most crucial things in this kit is a pamphlet entitled "The Double Standard and You". It shows us where society's lines are in terms of male favoritism. On the topic at hand, let me quote directly from the pamphlet:


Unless you have found yourself in a situation in which whipping it out will allow you to escape, and you've also made an informed decision that going to jail is better than said situation, keep it in your pants. You might think the double standard will allow you to have a friendly chat with the officer explaining the situation, but he's not interested because he's worried you're going to show it to him, too."

If you can get your hands on the pamphlet, it's in the section after the "shake it more than twice and you're playing with it" rule is explained.

Posted by: Chest Rockwell | October 22, 2008 1:41 PM | Report abuse

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