Today in Zorn: I'm a Roo
Highlights of Jim Zorn's Monday presser? There were plenty. From a verbiage standpoint, "sudden" is the new "violent." At least three times today and a couple times yesterday, Zorn has asked for more "suddenness" from his charges. So in that spirit, doing this as suddenly as possible, here are today's Zornisms. I'll also say that Zorn is now one of the two most bloggable sports personalities in D.C., rivaled only by another dude whose name starts with Z. Zorn and Zero, that'd be an interesting conversation.
On strictly following a two-point conversion chart: "There's a couple little parentheses on the chart. I'll try to get you one. You can probably get a two-point chart if you just go online, because I'm sure a lot of football gurus, they probably have them out there for you."
On whether he's a football guru: "I'm a Roo, but I don't know if I'm a Goo."
On his sideline run-in with Clinton Portis: "I think that I need to speak to myself about acting medium in those kind of situations."
On Clinton Portis's health: "We've been texting back and forth. He came in for treatment. I'm learning how to text now, which my daughter says this is the modern-day phone call, ok? So we have been texting. I've kind of screwed up the texts, so he doesn't really have an idea what I'm asking."
On Jason Taylor's injury: "The muscle looked really good."
On Jason Taylor's leg infection: "The doctor called it strep. That's just sort of a dirty wound. You know, it's kind of like what's going on with my finger right now. There's no oozing or anything like that."
On the lack of a Hip Hip Hooray: We had to break it down, we didn't do a Hip Hip Hooray, but I walked in, I go 'VICTORY MONNNNN-DAY.' And everyone's going [slow clap]. You know, it's like 'We're SIX AND TWOOOOO.' [Slow clap.] The energy was just not there. And maybe, I don't know if it was that they were tired or we just barely, I was trying to get some rise out of them. But that's why I say they're really tired. They've been giving it great effort, putting it out there."
On not scoring a touchdown on 1st-and-goal from the 1: "We're right there. We should have scored. It was easy. I use that term very guardedly, 'easy,' but we have a good enough team to get it into the end zone on the two-yard line."
(Greg Blache, brilliantly, said that his defense "played like the south end of a northbound skunk."
On Greg Blache's phrase: "Well I heard that statement, I heard that statement. So Greg and I had a long conversation this morning because I didn't to know on video what did that mean, what did that really look like....Just like little things irritate me, little things irritate Greg or Sherman [Smith] or even Danny [Smith]. It's just the little things that are keeping us from playing a very solid game. We haven't played a solid game yet. I think he's trying to create some urgency on the football team on the defensive side of it....That's a great phrase. You know, it's that hunting phrase. I told him to come up with a great hunting story, I wanted to hear a good hunting story."
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