Behold the Faces of Jim Zorn
There are a lot of reasons the local media pack seems in the tank for Jim Zorn--for example, the fact that he'll spend more time answering reporters' questions after practice than virtually any high school coach I've ever covered, whether those questions are about the West Coast Offense or skinning coyotes.
But you already knew that. A less frequently reported Zorn characteristic is his penchant for making funny sound effects and their accompanying ridiculous faces during his weekly Monday press gatherings. It doesn't translate into words very well, but the clear message is that Zorn doesn't take himself too seriously, and also that a description of the proper way to down a punt can always be made more visceral with bug eyes.
It's too hard to remember all the faces and sounds of Zorn this season, so here's just a sampling from yesterday's presser. Starting with the photo above, which is:
Panicked Zorn: "[Jason Campbell] is taking command of the line of scrimmage as well, because he had to call his own number on that quarterback draw. And we waited for it, we waited for it, we got it, and he went for it. Some guys will just freeze in that situation. They know what should happen--I know I should call it, agggghggdasgek!!!!!--but they don't. And he did. And that's why we're continuing to improve. I'd like us to swim faster, but we're just not doing that yet."
Triumphant Zorn: "We had a lot of guys around the ball, but in [Rock Cartwright's] mind he needed to secure that ball, and that's what he was trying to do, secure it. Now, was there a better way to secure it? Absolutely. But in the excitement of the moment, he got kind of fired up about it, you know, he was going to make this play. And had nobody touched the ball and we would have just surrounded it and just stared at it, it would have been the better move. If we had just went 'Haaaah!' But we didn't do that."
Sleepless Zorn: "You get caught just staring at the woodwork, thinking about what went on. That's what I was doing in bed last night, just looking up and staring, focusing up on some of those things that happened. It's hard. It's not, not fun."
Bashful Zorn: "I always felt like they couldn't touch me [when I played quarterback]. I hate to even smile on a day like today."
Medium Zorn: If we could change a handful of things that are going wrong--and I'm not talking about two big fistfuls, I'm just talking about a handful, ok?--we could flip that game that we just had. That's how close it is. So I don't think it's a snowball going downhill, I think we're kind of treading water, I really do, I think we're kind of treading water. We haven't just put the hurt on anybody, no question. Is it frustrating? Yeah. We haven't dominated, so we're kind of this Even-Steven team right now, but I do not believe we're waning at all....Tou can't tread water in this league for very long, you've got to be swimming. And we're not swimming yet."
Impressed Zorn: "It was an unbelievable punt to begin with. The ball hit, and it went coushzz goshzz, and it just stayed right there."
Possessed Zorn: I just like this screengrab.
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