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Malcolm Kelly's Called Sugar

I've been waiting all season for Fred Smoot to break out his library of nicknames for the team's rookies, but he told me today that it's a false hope, that I should pack up that blog item and store it in the basement for another year.

"I don't play with rookies any more," Smoot said. "Because coach didn't let us do nothing to 'em, so I don't."

Disappointing. Instead, I asked to get the nicknames of some new arrivals, like the newest, Ryan Boschetti.

"Boss ain't no rookie," Smoot pointed out. "He's just been The Boss Man since he's been here. That's it."

The coaches?

"Coach Zorn, we call him Jay-Z, that's about it," Smoot said. "Nothing to talk about."

DeAngelo Hall?

"He's just D-Hall," Smoot said. 'Sometimes your name dictates you never getting a nickname. If your last name was Jackson, first name Kurt, your name gonna be...."

"K-Jack?" I guessed.

"It took you [no time] to figure that out quick," Smoot said. "So, you know, some guys, your name is just given to you."

"So Todd Collins, is he T-Coll?" I asked.

"No, see, that's just too much," Smoot said. "He's just Todd Collins." Then he told me Ryan Plackemeier is called Plack. Just when I was ready to give up, The Official Blog of the Washington Redskins approached and asked about Malcolm Kelly.

"That's my guy man," Smoot said. "I call him Sugar, because you ever look at his ankles? You know, down south, when people got big ankles and diabetes, we call it Sugar. He got Sugar."

With the rookie receiver seal thus popped, I asked Smoot what he called Devin Thomas.

"Devin?" Smoot replied. "Man, call the police, because he's [flipping] crazy. He'll be jumping over here in a minute, losing his damn mind. Devin ain't got no name. He's special. Point blank."

(Also, at some point in our conversation, a smell washed over that corner of the locker room. Smoot suggested it was made by a certain anatomical act involving the digestive system. I suggested it was possibly just smelly shoes. "I see he ain't used to being around a man's man," Smoot said to Plackemeier and Shaun Suisham. "That's a [certain anatomical act involving the digestive system]."

And this is the guy who's claiming Devin Thomas is special.)

By Dan Steinberg  |  November 26, 2008; 2:49 PM ET
Categories:  Redskins  
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Nothing to say here. Just . . . nothing to say.

Posted by: Good2bOK | November 26, 2008 5:16 PM | Report abuse

Thanks for the laughs.

Posted by: ProfessorWrightBSU | November 28, 2008 4:55 PM | Report abuse

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