Morning Look: FedEx Cars Go Up in Smoke
Your night was probably bad, but have a bit of perspective: some people's night was probably worse. Like, here's one scenario that would be worse: leaving work early, getting caught in eyebrow-tearing traffic, watching your team get smashed on its much-anticipated Monday Night football stage, watching your stadium fill up with towel-waiving infidels, watching them celebrate as you creep out, and then leaving all that behind and going back to the parking lot to drive to some random exurb for another day of work and finding a burnt, smoking, smelly shell of death-like metal where your car used to be.
And then trying to figure out how the hell you're getting back to Cumberland from Landover at 12:15 a.m. on a Monday night. And cursing the day you decided to go to this game instead of staying home and watching from your couch in your underwear with your car safely out in the drive and the Doritos Collisions within reach.
If you didn't hear, eight cars were heavily damaged in a parking lot fire last night. The cause was unclear, foul play was not suspected, and damages were estimated at $100,000.
"It was not immediately clear early this morning how owners reacted when they learned what happened," wrote my colleague Martin Weil, but one could probably guess. One would probably guess that they didn't rejoice.
"Man, that game was fishwrap. Bad challenges? QB under fire? Injured stars? Copious infidels? Sucka sucka. I just want to go home and....wait, where's the car. Didn't I park he....wait, what's the pile of dead metal over there. Wait, why is the earth under my feet still black and smoking. Wait....Um. Oh."
By the time I got to the scene, the flames were gone, and the trucks were trying to figure out how best to load these skeletons. "Burnt to a crisp," one bystander noted. The official people on hand said no one could comment about anything, But at least something Redskins related was on fire, right?
Many apologies to all who were affected, and if anyone has names or contact info for the affected, send 'em along.
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