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Jokes About Seth and Stephon Curry


(By Julie Jacobson - AP)


Last week's bonus Atlantic 11 pith, much of it hopelessly outdated, to mull over while you drive to FedEx Field today, or camp outside the Comcast Center to get ready for AU's arrival tomorrow.

1. Georgetown

Biggest unexplored subplot of the Hoyas' win last Saturday -- the reunion of Rod Strickland, now on the Memphis staff, with Verizon Center hotdog vendors. (Markus Videnieks)

Clark Kellogg and Jim Nantz wore tuxes while broadcasting the Hoyas game against Memphis, thus giving Greg Monroe fond memories of his senior prom in 1993. (Chris Chase)

Jessie Sapp first player this year to make a last-second shot against a team other than Virginia Tech. (Eric Swensen)

And, as usual, the Hoyas will have more wins than the Redskins by the end of December. (Bill Fitzgerald)

If Greg Monroe keeps on playing this well he might not need to get familiar with a new area for his professional career. (Devin Perry)

Monroe's third term in Washington? The Era of Good Blockings! (Christopher Ring)

The best way to describe this team is like a kiddie pool at a house party on a hot summer's day: Awesome, except for a serious lack of depth. (Tim Hanson)

2. Maryland

With Maryland breaking for exams, it's as good a time as any to point out that the Terps have a chance of entering the New Year with a win total that equals their latest graduation success rate. (Scott Allen)

Have three games in late December. Isn't their a better way to keep Braxton Dupree away from the Christmas Ham? (Jack Lambert)

Terps won so easily against Delaware State Gary Williams will get a rare second wear out of his game-day suit. (Bill Fitzgerald)

With the price of oil dropping so quickly, Venezuela's most valuable export may now be ugly college basketball players. Your home country thanks you, Greivis Vazquez. (Sean McLernon)

Gary Williams has been studying shoe throwing footage in hopes of implementing the tactic against Duke. (John Albers)

The Terps men's soccer team won the National Championship last weekend. Hopefully they don't follow the post-title blueprint laid out by the basketball team, as soccer doesn't have the NIT. (Chris Chase)

The Terps's only shot of making the tournament this year is if Dino Gregory brings Bam-Bam along. (Ben Shlesinger)

3. Virginia Tech

Hokies' 08-09 slogan: "39 1/2 Minutes of Madness, Then a Collapse!" (Paul Campbell)

Enduring the heartbreaking losses that Virginia can only dream about. (Laurence Reszetar)

If you believe that the outcome of close games is inherently random and that over time, every team is .500 in close games, then the Hokies must be due to win the NCAA Tournament this year. (Max Wasserman)

Close only counts in horseshoes, hand grenades and Seth Greenberg's inevitable rationale when lobbying the Selection Committee for the Hokies' inclusion in the NCAA Tournament. (Chris Chase)

Seth Greenberg went down to Georgia and fared worse than the devil in a fiddling contest. (Bill FItzgerald)

After playing in an O'Reilly Auto Parts event in Puerto Rico, and the BB&T Classic in Washington, the Hokies are off to the Aeropostale shootout in New York City. In 2009, they'll be playing their home ACC games in Blacksburg, which will be sponsored by Rand McNally, John Deere, and Skoal. (Matt Trogdon)

If Seth Greenberg doesn't hire a ghostwriter soon for "Seth's Hoops DeJuor", then I'm just going to be forced to stop reading his redicuously boring thoughts for a local newspaper college basketball poll. (Jack Lambert)

Overcame both envy and fits of giggling to defeat Longwood. (John Albers)

You know it's a big game against Longwood when the AP write-up is 4 paragraphs. (Chris Olson)

4. George Mason

While most of us will be enjoying our holidays with our families and loved ones, the recently scorned Gunston will be spending the season alone, drunk, and most likely at Camelot. (Christopher Ring)

Jim Larranaga really misses Jai Lewis this time of year, and not just because he was such a great Santa Claus at the Patriots' Christmas party. (Bill Fitzgerald)

Barnes and Noble recently donated $590,000 to George Mason for the construction of a new basketball practice facility. Man, lose to Liberty once and even the nerds get to make fun of you. (Jack Lambert)

You know things are slow on the hoops front when "Adjeman-Pamboe" Invited to MLS Combine" is the lead story at GoMason.com. (Matt Bonesteel)

Mason returned to action last week against the Radford Highlanders, who apparently consulted the CFL when choosing a nickname.

5. VCU

As the winner of the traditional VCU-Richmond inter-Richmond challenge, VCU gets to keep the Black Lung Trophy for another year. (Markus Videnieks)

Last Saturday, VCU played at Richmond before they showed the Spider football playoff game on the jumbotron. It was a great moment for the city. VCU fans got to see what it was like to have a football team. UR fans got to see what it was like to have a basketball team. (Chris Fish)

Has anyone made a Larry Sanders Show reference yet? (Michael Palan)

6. Liberty

Athletic Director Jeff Barber is considering joining Conference USA immediately because the thought of hearing "Curry over Rice" twice a year makes his mouth water. (Jake Leffler)

In an effort to replicate the recent success of Seth and Stephen Curry, mid-major schools have embarked upon the ferverous pursuit of actor Tim Curry of "The Rocky Horror Picture Show" fame to run the point. (Christopher Ring)

Seth and Stephen Curry can play basketball the way Haskell Curry can develop the mathematical concept of combinatory logic. The only difference is Haskell was smart enough to stay the heck away from Lynchburg. (Sean McLernon)

You have to root for a Curry Classic (Davidson/Liberty) in the tournament just for the "sip every time Clark Kellogg says 'spicy'" drinking game. (Brian Bald)

Schedules game against Anderson University in a bald-faced attempt to dupe Atlantic 11 voters into thinking they scored a win over the better-known AU. (Matt Bonesteel)

Documentary on Liberty's basketball season to be titled "Guilt & Basketball." (John Albers)

The University is still the #1 hit on Google for "liberty." The Bush Doctrine still has work to do. (Chris Olson)

Probably the best school that shares it's name with the nickname of a WNBA team. (Markus Videnieks)

7. VMI

Matchup on Sunday against Army sure to draw huge ratings in coveted Civil War re-enactors demographic. (Eric Swensen)

Beat Southern Wesleyan, whose name is misleading because the brand of Methodism spread to the southern colonies broke away from English Methodism and Wesley after the Revolutionary war. This makes the name as anachronistic as "Utah Jazz," or "profitable newspaper." (Jack Lambert)

Do women fantasize about threesomes with twin brothers? (Brian Bald)

8 . Navy

Fair and balanced FoxSports.com names Navy the Mid-Major Team of the Week and Mitch McConnell the Minority Leader of the Week. (Scott Allen)

The Midshipmen will need some frontcourt help to compete with the bigger teams in the Patriot League. Vinny Cerrato thinks that this glaring weakness should be solved be recruiting three pass catchers. (Chris Chase)

Covers two-thirds of the earth, none of which is in the paint, apparently. (John Albers)

Took over a week off before their game at Canisius because it takes a long time to sail to Buffalo. (Max Wasserman)

Don't worry Mids, if you play well enough to go to the postseason you won't be rewarded by playing your game at RFK in December. (Christopher Ring)

If you think Billy Lange didn't have positioning in the Atlantic 11 in mind when he scheduled the first part of this season, you're nuts. (Brian Bald)

Just in time for the holidays, John Feinstein chronicles Navy's historic 8-2 start in his new book, "Sailors' Delight." (Bill Fitzgerald)

Greatest first 10 games of a season for a team with its name in the title of a hit song by the Village People, just edging out the 7-3 start in 1987 by little-known NAIA school Macho Man University. (Sean McLernon)

9. George Washington

Chris Farley interviewing Karl Hobbs: "Remember when you guys were undefeated and ranked 6th in the country?? That was awesome!" (Christopher Ring)

The Colonials knocked off Harvard last week, which shows that George Washington is still sticking it to Harvard-alum John Adams from beyond the grave. (Chris Chase)

Tommy Amaker's homecoming is just how he always dreamed it would be, losing to GW in front of 2,205 fans as the head coach of Harvard. (Bill Fitzgerald)

Former University President Stephen Joel Trachtenberg will be proud to know that Colonials lent credence to his "Harvard on the Potomac" claim by actually beating the real Harvard. (Ted Gotsch)

Can now say that they beat Harvard in tuition cost AND basketball. (Max Wasserman)

Beat Harvard by 15. That's one point for every billion dollars Harvard's endowment has lost this year. (Chris Olson)

I wonder if Obama was reviewing the law that the Colonials laid down on Harvard? (Michael Palan)

Beating Harvard by 15 totally proves that we could have gotten in there if we wanted, but chose to come to D.C. for the connections and the internship possibilities and to go to the most expensive school in the country. As for AU, um...Blue/Orange Line's better! [/Colonial'd] (Paul Campbell)

10. Virginia

If the students start acting like Iraqi journalists, the upside is that Topsiders and Uggs won't hurt too much and Groh might find a decent quarterback. (Laurence Reszetar)

The Cavs have the best all-freshmen backcourt in the ACC, and quite possibly, the best overall backcourt in all of Charlottesville. (Matt Trogdon)

If this team were any younger, it would be posing backless on the cover of Vanity Fair. (Jake Leffler)

Never a good sign when hosting Longwood feels like a must-win game. (Eric Swensen)

Not even a belief in Santa Claus can save this Virginia's hopes this season. (Christopher Ring)

11. American

To kill time during long hiatus, the Eagles took a guided tour of historic Tenleytown's many old-timey mattress retailers.

Also Receiving Pith

Old Dominion

Guard Trian Iliadis had better be majoring in ancient Greek literature. (Markus Videnieks)

[Ed. note: Bill Fitzgerald also wrote something amusing about Trian Passtheball, but I accidentally deleted it.]

Towson

Victory over the Panthers is the High Point of their season so far. Get it? Because they beat High Point? Shut up. (Chris Stratton)

Norfolk State

I was going to give this spot to UMES and say, "Well, they're just as deserving as Virginia." But they crashed my computer, so its all yours Norfolk State. (Jack Lambert)

Motley Fool Stock tip o' the week: There's lots to buy on the markets these days, but don't get cute and start playing around with General Motors and Ford. These companies are in serious trouble and government intervention is impossible to predict when it comes to stocks. And, well, over the next few months, you're probably going to end up (as a taxpayer) owning a piece of them anyway.

By Dan Steinberg  |  December 21, 2008; 12:46 PM ET
Categories:  Atlantic 11 , College Basketball  
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