Chuck Norris, Plaxico, MMA and Politics
On a slow return to work, here's a guest item from Bog friend Dan Levy.
Hello D.C. Bogosphere. Agent Steinberg was gracious enough to rent out some space today (his rates are very reasonable) to help me promote our latest interview On the DL. We've had some very D.C.-centric interviews, including chats with luminaries from Mr. Kornheiser and Mr. Wilbon to Captain
Winkie Chaos Chris Cooley and even Tofurkytalk just last week with the usual proprietor of this here space.
But nothing is as big as today's show. Sure, it has nothing to do with Clinton Portis' Maserati or Dimitri Young's daily breakfast spread (not linking to that, ever). But this show might be as D.C.-riffic as any we've done. Chuck Norris wants to come to Washington to put Congress in a choke hold. Yes, Chuck Norris was On the DL to talk about his new book, Black Belt Patriotism.
Norris famously backed Mike Huckabee in the race for the White House and has taken his outstanding legend and folk-hero status to become a New York Times Bestselling political pundit. The press release for the book asserts that "after conquering Hollywood and winning legendary fights, Norris is tackling a new challenge: saving our country."
Would you doubt Chuck Norris? His plan is actually pretty simple, and since this is a sports blog I'll spare you the details (listen if you want to hear his detailed tax plan). But there are some headlines that only Chuck Norris can make. He brings up concerns about the corruption in Congress and he is not happy with all the special interests and lobbyists lining the pockets of Washington politicians. If this were a Chucktocracy - his word, not mine - he says he'd go to Washington and, with Ron Paul by his side, find out who is corrupt. The honest can stay, but what would happen to the nefarious?
Norris explains, "I'd walk up to him and say, 'you're fired.' And if he didn't move immediately, I'd choke him unconscious and drag him over." Okay, then. I joked that I thought he would round-house kick them in the face, he replied, "I don't like blood. I'd really rather choke them out." An actual Chuck Norris fact: Chuck Norris does not like blood.
I asked if he ever thought he'd follow in the footsteps of Governor Terminator and go from action star to political paladin and he scoffed at the notion, offering this explanation: "Let's say I'm running for Governor of Texas and I'm running against a guy and we're debating each other and he starts attacking my character, which you see a lot in these debates. And I leap over the desk and I choke him unconscious. Would that help my campaign?" Maybe in Texas.
We do talk some sports, as I ask Norris what he thinks about Plaxico Burress and if he feels that the Burress case was the right time for a Second Amendment pulpit. We also talk briefly about Mixed Martial Arts, and I wonder if Norris - a martial arts Hall of Famer himself - thinks MMA is good for the industry, or the latest over-sensationalized version of WWE. "I do that too. I've trained in all those. And I respect those fighters. They are incredible athletes. All of them. I like MMA, but you know, it's for the younger people." Brock Lesnar has been spared. D.C. Insiders...Chuck Norris is watching you.
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